Start by Watching My Video on Gaining an Iron Will

 

Looking to be calm in all situations and not swayed by emotion with an iron will is a powerful thing to achieve.

 

Realizing the Need for an Iron Will

 

First off, realizing that you need to do this is a BIG step. Many people are in denial about themselves and if you are being honest with yourself and opening up about needing to strengthen your will, you are one step further to gaining an iron will.

 

We all Have Emotions

 

Second, realize that we are all human and have emotions. These emotions are our gauge in situations to let us know what is going on. If someone is being a jerk, our emotions will be stirred to recognize it. If someone compliments us, we become warm and fuzzy inside. We cannot escape our emotions.  Realize that you are going to have a response to what people say, both good and bad, but that your state of happiness should not hinge on either!

 

Accept Other People’s Decisions

 

Gaining emotional stability is possible. You can get to a point where you recognize everyone’s intentions you talk to and remain calm. Part of this is realizing that people are going to make their own decisions. Accepting those decisions, even when we don’t agree with them, is a big step.  Even if you get bottled up in side and feel you have to say something to people who you think are doing harm or making a bad decision, you can stop yourself and accept it.

 

For me, it took constant reminding that I accept people for who they are and I wish everyone well who I come in contact with. The main thing is a constant reminder that I accept the things I cannot change.  In some cases, someone is going to do something so severe and harmful that intervention needs to happen, but this is only in cases where severe physical/emotional harm is a certainty.

 

Seek to Understand Before Being Understood

 

Another thing is to always seek to understand first before seeking to be understood. Listen to people even if you think what they are saying is absolutely ridiculous. And even if you know they are being ridiculous, choose to smile and say, ‘best of luck with that’.  The fact is, that even when someone is spouting nonsense, if you take the time to listen and understand, you will actually realize from that persons point of view, they are making sense.

 

Regardless of your emotional state, you have a choice to not snap back at people and to smile and treat people kindly. This skill becomes easier and you will find yourself not in as many situations where conflict with others is occuring.

 

Avoid Backbiting and Drama

 

Avoid backbiting and entertaining thoughts about those who seek to stir chaos and conflict. This is not worth your time. Recognize people for who they are, but then focus your mind on worthwhile and uplifting thoughts. This is how you can help people and yourself.  Imagine if you spent all your time trying to combat other people and instead used that time to better yourself and accomplish your goals and dreams!

 

With a little faith and making consistent choices to accept the things you cannot change, you will become resilient to the chaos around you and find yourself able to cope with any situation.

Every day, I am amazed at how many people say how tired they are.  I’ve come to realize that people being tired is likely a common scenario in the world we live in today.  Being tired makes living throughout the day very difficult.  It blocks thinking, action, and determination.  As such, let me tell you some simple things you can do right now to not be tired.

 

Get Ready For Bed Early

 

Yes, you have been told to get to bed early by many more people than just me.  But what you haven’t been told is that having a meaningful purpose for your life and set goals and plans will further aid you as you make the decision to retire to bed at a reasonable time.  You must do more than just try to get to bed early.  Use my website, drjerm.com, and discover your reason for being alive.  Once you have greater purpose to your life, you will find the choice to retire to bed early a necessity to accomplish all that you have to do.

 

I recognize that special circumstances prevent retiring to bed at a reasonable time.  Perhaps you work 70-80 hours a week or you just have too many commitments.  If you see that you are being prevented from doing something that you know will benefit you, take the time to change your situation so that you can do what you need to.  This means making sacrifices and working to change your situation.

 

Get at Least 8 to 9 Hours of Sleep

 

Getting eight to nine hours of sleep during a night does wonders for the next day.  You will be more energetic, happy, and capable of accomplishing the tasks for the day.  Try getting only four or five hours of sleep.  Most of the time, this makes my eyes sting, makes me dizzy, and it is much more effort to try and get anything done in an effective manner.  Your days will undergo an amazing transformation just from getting at least eight to nine hours of sleep at night!

 

Wake Up a Couple Hours Before Your Work Day Starts

 

Once you start getting the rest your body needs, you can start planning to wake up a couple hours before your day begins.  This gives several advantages:

 

• You can work on any side projects you are doing
• You can meditate and get ready for the day
• When you are set to go to work, your mind and body are active
• You can spend some mornings exercising
• You can spend some alone time with your spouse/significant other
• You have FREE time to do what you want

 

The advantages to starting the day right by having extra time in the morning are numerous.  I know that if you allocate time in the morning and wake up much sooner than you have to arrive at work or school, that you will experience much more positive and productive days.

 

Drink Water, Eat Right, and Stay Active

 

If your normal food routine consists of doughnuts, potato chips, and fast food, you are fighting an uphill battle to have energy and be upbeat.  You must decide for yourself that you are going to have energy and be active and give up some of these unhealthy foods.  Start eating apples, bananas, walnuts, almonds, whole grains, and other fruits and vegetables.  Your eating habits play a big role in the amount of energy you have.

 

Get a big bottle of water and fill it every morning.  I have one by my desk each day and I drink it all before the day is over.  Drinking water will help flush out your system and keep you healthy.  Also look to stay active.  Don’t be so obsessed about parking as close to the building you are driving to as possible.  Park a little bit away and enjoy the walk.  Take time to walk and exercise.  Two to three times a week of running/jogging, or doing weight training will greatly increase your energy.

 

I know that if you take a little bit of time and effort to prioritize your sleeping, eating, and exercising, that you will notice a big change in your energy levels.  You will stop being tired and start being awake.

Getting a college education is not a choice to be made lightly. The focus of this topic is for those of you in high school, or those of you who are a bit older, that are seeking to get a college education.

 

There are a few areas that are important to talk about when considering a college education. First, knowing what you are passionate about and what you would like to pursue for your career will give you an early advantage. Second, learn to manage your time and money. Third, Learn to be internally motivated. Finally, take time to proactively learn both inside and outside of college.

 

Know What You Are Passionate About

 

I’ve seen people in high school who really like computer games. They play them all the time. Perhaps someone like this should think about working in the gaming industry. Become an expert in the sound of games, the graphics, or writing story lines. Maybe you like accounting and working with numbers. Don’t second guess yourself. Pursue your education in what you like to do.

 

I’ve created my website, drjerm.com, to help you find out what you are passionate about. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what you like to do. That’s okay. If you take the necessary steps to get your life organized and make an effort to discover your destiny, creating your legacy will not be difficult. I know that if you start putting the right things first, like your education, and get serious about it, things will fall into place.

 

Learn to Manage Your Time and Money

 

Understanding your money before college is a wonderful thing. For me, it took me until after college to really get a grasp on how to manage my money. As such, I was always broke and didn’t quite know what was coming in and what was going. You can take some simple steps to understand your finances before college and this will give you an advantage!

 

Check on your finances at least once a week. Always know what amount of money you have. Don’t spend more than you are earning. Look to save a portion of what you earn. These are basic principles of finance. The main thing is to spend time looking at your finances. This will come in handy when your college education is complete and you are making big bucks because of it.

 

Be Internally Motivated

 

Please, do not go to college just because your parents say it is a good idea. An education without a purpose is nothing more than throwing your money away. For the first two years of college for me, I basically slept in class, skipped class, and was just going because it was something to do. I had no idea that I could be internally motivated, actually learn from my classes, and apply the skills learned to do wonderful things.

 

Drjerm.com exists to help you find internal motivation. By utilizing the resources I have to offer, you will not need a coach to motivate you. You will find that the best motivator is yourself. When you get to this point, you will be ahead of at least 90% of everyone else. You can then make the choices to decide what you want to do, and there will be nothing to stop you. You will gain educational power because you are motivated to learn from within.

 

Learn Both Inside and Outside of College

 

There are some simple things you can do to learn both inside, and outside of college. Here are some of them:

 

• Study outside of class and at school, where there are no distractions
• Work in the computer labs at your school on assignments
• Meet with your teachers outside of class
• Ask questions in class, ask as many as you can
• Research online according to your field of study
• Create your own ideas that nobody else is doing related to your field of study
• Proactively meet with students to collaborate
• Find the best tutors available and use them

 

I know that with a little effort, determination, and proactivity, that you will get an education for the right reason. And that reason is to further progress your knowledge and ability to succeed in situations. If you will do this, you will find your education a tool to success!

One morning, while getting ready for work, I just happened to flip on the TV and stopped and was watching Montell Williams (a talk show host).  This is not normally a show I watch, but for some reason I decided to watch it.  It was a rerun episode (aired a couple years ago), and the guest for the time was Yvette Cade, an amazing woman who has an amazing story.

 

Yvette Cade Story

 

At her place of employment, Yvette was doused with gasoline and set on fire by her ex-husband.  She suffered third degree burns over 60% of her body.  Her flesh is scarred and this is a terrible tragedy.  As I watched the Montell Williams show, and listened to her story, I wondered and contemplated what could drive a man, especially for someone they knew well, to set them on fire.  Stories like this do test my faith and courage, but there is more to the story!

 

Yvette has appeared on the Montell Williams show, the Nancy Grace show, and the Oprah Winfrey show.  She calmly speaks of the tragedy that occured and seeks to give warning to those women who are in an abusive relationship.  She seeks to uplift, inspire, and influence others for good.  This is the inspiring story, and the legacy that Yvette Cade is creating.

 

What Can be Learned From Yvette Cade

 

One big thing that can be learned from Yvette is that overcoming challenges and overcoming hardships can be done no matter how severe the situation.  How many of you have been set on fire and your body scarred for life?  How many of you would jump right back up and move forward with determination and passion if this happened to you?  I am learning from this amazing woman that no matter how difficult your situation, you can choose to be positive, confident, and optimistic.

 

Another lesson that can be learned from Yvette is that you can be more than just positive, confident, and optimistic.  She has a website, is proactively doing fund raising and seeking to help women in abusive relationships.  She is not just content to have survived.  She is seeking to leave a legacy in the world in which we live.  I am inspired and uplifted by Yvette.

 

Final Thoughts on the Yvette Cade Story

 

There are individuals who live on the earth today that do unspeakable acts of evil and harm.  On the flip side, there are amazing individuals with godlike qualities.  Yvette Cade is one such individual.  I’ve only seen her on the Montell Williams show for a few minutes and read over her website, but I am amazed by her story.  Someday I may meet her, but either way, she has touched and enriched my life and I give thanks to her for this.

 

I highly encourage the visiting of Yvette’s website.  Read the inspiring story of Yvette Cade.

You can overcome depression today! Read on to understand simple facts about depression, how to realize when you are depressed, and what you can do to overcome depression.

 

First off, there may be situations where physical and chemical body reactions are causing depression in a way that I currently do not comprehend.  As such, physical and medical depression, while I believe conquerable, is another topic for another day.  The focus of this page will be a different view on what general depression is and some tips for overcoming your depression.

 

I created drjerm.com for the purpose of discovering your destiny and creating your legacy.  It is a place that seeks to inform, inspire, and educate.  To this end, let’s discuss some simple facts about depression as they relate to discovering your destiny and creating your legacy, and everything that goes with that.

 

Simple Facts About Depression

 

You are depressed if you are doing anything in your life which hinders you from living your dreams.  Let me repeat this again.  You are depressed if you are doing anything in your life which hinders you from living your dreams.  Your dreams should be your passion, the deepest desires of your heart, the things you want the most, and are the best at.  Look at your life today.  Let’s take a look at the depressing things that often take away from this.

 

For me, my dream is to have this website be the number one resource for inspiring and educating people to pursue their passions as they discover their destiny and create their legacy.  I also have a dream of raising a successful family, keeping in great shape, and a number of other things.  For you, you may want to sing at Broadway, produce movies, or become a famous chef.  Here is a list of things which take away from our dreams:

 

• Hesitation when opportunities present themselves
• Not getting excited about good things happening
• Pessimistic about most things
• Getting offended easily
• Constantly worrying about what others think of you
• Focusing on the bad in situations
• Giving up when things get tough

 

Simply examine yourself.  This list is but a few of the things to be looked at.  If you find yourself doing anything related to this, please stop and look at yourself.  Depression binds us and keeps us from living to our potential.

 

A Quick Myth About Depression

 

Depression is more than just not liking yourself or not being excited about life.  In 1929, the United States began facing what was called ‘The Great Depression‘.  This was a time of immense collapse of economics and industry.  The country faced a major crisis.  There are many theories as to what the cause of depression at this time was.  Some of these were debt, gold standard collapse, over production of goods, and a breakdown in trading.

 

Without going into too much details of the causes, the depression happened because the country did not do the things to prepare itself against it.  Depression is the hindering of achieving true potential.  Anything taking away from this is depression.  In a sense, most of use living today are depressed to some degree.  Otherwise we would all be full time pursuing our dreams.  Yes, this isn’t easy as there are bills to pay and a slew of other obstacles to overcome.

 

A myth about depression is that it can’t be avoied in most cases.  I come from a family where people are depressed.  That’s just the reality of the situation.  I can see that depression runs in my family and is genetically inherited.  I have physical and chemical depression hit me, and I know when it happens.  I feel down, not excited, and unable to take action.

 

THE MOMENT THIS HAPPENS, I tighten up my armor, grab my weapons, and beat back the depression beast.  I slay the depression dragon right there and then.  All negative thoughts are purged.  Just because I have a chemical reaction, does not take away the fact that I am smart, talented, and capable.  You can do the same.  Do not let your depression determine your course of action!

 

How do I Know if I Am Depressed?

 

I’d like to present some situations that will help you know if you are depressed.  I’ve given facts about depression, but let’s look at some real world scenarios that will likely (not always, but most of the time) mean you are depressed.

 

• You come home from work/school each day, eat junk food and plop yourself in front of the TV.  You do this for several hours most days.  You stay up late, and wake up very tired in the morning.
• Someone tells you that you are doing a good job or look nice.  Inside, you shrug your shoulders and say something to the effect of ‘yeah right’
• Someone offers aid to you - particularly when you need it, but you stubbornly refuse it.  Or you do not let people know when you really need assistance (severe physical pain or other ailments)
• Whenever you seek to be proactive, your mind wanders, you surf the net, start watching tv, or get distracted in some other way
• At school, the teacher calls on you, and you immediately get frightened with a panic attack.  You are not comfortable being the center of attention
• You see a guy/girl that you like and realize there’s no way they will like you.  Or you see another guy/girl and are jealous because everyone likes them and they don’t have difficulty with relationships

 

In a way, it bothers me to say this, but excessive TV equals depression.  If you are sitting in your room, or lounging in the family room watching tv all the time you are wasting your life away.  Your view of yourself isn’t very high.  You are in a depressed state.  Forgive my bluntness in this, but I know from experience how living like this can distort reality.

 

Look at the other situations here.  None of them have proactivity or positivity.  They are just flat out depressing to read.  But all the situations can be overcome with changing the view you have of yourself.  Realize that you are smart, that you can make things happen with simple choices.  Choose to stand up and leave the tv room.  Start by just doing something else, like going for a walk outside.  Smile and be confident! 

 

Depression Can Be Overcome

 

You can overcome deperssion, I have no doubt about it.  I can tell you how I’ve overcome depression.  I talk good to myself, I know I am smart.  I produce wonderful work.  I have a terrific wife and daughter.  I know I can do whatever I set my mind to.  I love to exercise and eat right - I am at my ideal and correct weight.  I feel terrific!

 

I wasn’t always like this.  Many years ago, I beat myself up, said how dumb I was, watched tv all the time, was not proactive, was passive around everybody.  I was about fifty pounds overweight.  I complained and was depressed.  Times have since changed.  All it took was a choice!

 

With a little effort, faith, different view of yourself, and some smart choices, you can begin to slay your depression.  Don’t just read this and fall back into the depression trap.  I plead with you to just spend time on building yourself up, and taking time doing productive and worthwhile things.  I know you can do it!

Start by Watching My Video on Focus and Concentration

 

Having trouble concentrating is a common issue.  You may be in high school and just get bored in class and want to go to sleep.  Or you work at a job where you just can’t keep your mind on work.  Luckily, following a few simple steps will help you gain the concentration and focus needed to accomplish the tasks you set out to do.

 

Decide What you Want to Do

 

Having trouble concentrating often comes from not having a clear picture of what needs to be done.  If there are details lacking in what you need to concentrate and focus on, then there is going to be room for mind wandering and error.

 

To really concentrate on a task, you have to first get a clear picture of what you are trying to accomplish.  This means taking time to think and design out what needs to be done.  It means step by step, coming up with a plan to accomplish the task at hand.  Your concentration will greatly increase if you have a detailed plan with instructions put together for what it is you are trying to do.

 

Let me give you an example:  I’m having trouble concentrating when I write in my journal.  My mind wanders and it’s hard to focus and write anything down.  To solve this, I come up with a plan to write in my journal.  I decide that 9 pm every Sunday night is when I will write in it.  I also decide that I will write at my office desk.  I will write alone.  I will write about how my day went, things I learned, interesting events, and my family.

 

There is power in this kind of detail.  With details filled in, your concentration is much easier to achieve.  You have a detailed plan with no guessing.  You know what you are going to do.  You get yourself into the situation with a plan and your concentration and focus is much easier to achieve.

 

Be Proactive and Stop at Nothing

 

Being proactive is quite the useful skill when you are having trouble concentrating.  Usually if you are having trouble concentrating, your mind is not producing details and specifications it needs to complete a task.  If you are a writer, this is sometimes called “Writer’s Block”.  You can be proactive though in increaseing your ability to perform the task you need to do through knowledge gaining.

 

Proactively learn more about what task you are seeking to do.  If you are planting a garden, look for some good books, talk to friends/family/neighbors, or look online for information.  Do whatever it takes to increase your knowledge.  Armed with knowledge, you have a much greater pool to draw from in order to design and plan your task.  With this knowledge, you will find moments of drawing blanks and losing focus less frequent.

 

Eliminate Distractions

 

Many distractions can disrupt your concentration.  These include TV, children, radio, surfing the net, not feeling good/healthy, eating, and mind wandering.  There is nothing wrong with these distractions in general, but for the purpose of losing concentration, these distractions must not be interfering with making progress on your plan.

 

You eliminate distractions by communicating with those around you that you need time to concentrate and focus on what you would like to do.  You share why you are doing it.  You ask for patience and understanding.  For me, I also downgraded our television plan to only the very basic cable.  I seek quiet areas where I can research and make progress on my tasks.

 

Enjoy What you are Doing

 

If I were asked to create a website for someone that wants to sell jewelry, it would be much harder to concentrate and get the task done than if I were making a website for computer games.  Sometimes concentration on things other than what you are interested in is a necessary evil.  It’s what you do for work during the day.  In cases where you have a choice though, don’t beat your head against the wall doing something you don’t enjoy if there is not a good reason.

 

If you like cats, you will not have a hard time creating a portfolio of cute kitty pictures, or writing about your favorite cat, or talking about cats, or making cat toys, blankets or anything cats.  Look to this and do your best to have your concentration focused in areas you are passionate about.

 

Keep Yourself Healthy

 

Having trouble concentrating can come from being tired, sick, frustrated, heart broken, angry, or any number of physical and mental ailments.  Look to increase your health through healthy eating and exercise.  This means not eating that bag of chips.  Pick up a banana or carrot instead.  Sure it doesn’t taste quite as good, but it’s not THAT bad.  Drink water and get at least eight hours sleep at night.  This is fairly common knowledge.  Make the choice to apply the knowledge.

 

Being in good health helps me maintain my concentration and efforts on this website.  I eat reasonably well and I exercise two to three times a week lifting weights and running.  This helps me keep up with my family and find the energy to do the other things I am wanting to do.

 

I know that with good decision making, gaining knowledge, staying healthy, and doing what we are passionate about, that we will increase our focus.  With a little faith, you can start having more concentration and focus and start seeing greater results in your life!

There may be some of you reading this right now that don’t see any point to life and see life as a waste of time.  You may be depressed and ready to give up on life.  To this end, I seek to offer counsel and guidance for getting more out of life.  I ask that you please read with an open mind what I have to say.  I know that in life, sometimes things can get very difficult and some challenges may seem impossible to overcome.  But I know that no challenge is too difficult to overcome.  Please read on.

 

Life Isn’t Fair

 

Seeing the point in life means looking at the world in which we live.  There are billions of people living in different countries, states/provinces, and cities/towns.  Each of us represent different families, cultures, and environments.  The sum of all this is that there are many different people on this earth with different views on what existence is and what constitutes good, evil, fair, unfair, and everything else.

 

Now knowing that there are many combinations of different types of people living on the earth, we can then see that with so many people, environments, and cultues, that there is a high chance that one or more people are going to do something that is outside the realm of what one or more other people consider to be acceptable.  As such, it is no wonder that life is full of conflict both small and large scale.

 

Therefore, the notion that life is not fair needs some disecting to really understand what it is saying.  First, look at WHY you are saying life is unfair.  This may be for some of the following reasons:

 

• Getting bullied or made fun of at school
• Barely scraping by on a meager income
• Having parents who mistreat and neglect
• Dealing with people who lie
• Seeing others suffer
• My environment makes it just too hard to succeed
• Other people are just ‘lucky’

 

So to say that life isn’t fair means not just saying it.  If you really are wondering if life is fair, or why life is not fair, you MUST be specific as to why it is not fair.  Otherwise you are just sulking and feeling sorry for yourself in a mode of depression.  You can spend some time thinking and pondering on what you see as not fair in life.  This is not hard, anyone can do it!  Once you have a specific list of why you think life isn’t fair, you can then see if you can address/change any of it.

 

Change What you Can, Accept What you Can’t Change

 

Look at your list of things in life that you think are not fair.  Now look at why these things occur.  Let’s take the list from above and come up with some simple reasons.

 

For getting bullied or made fun of at school, first look at yourself.  What can you do?  You can learn self defense techniques to protect yourself.  You can make sure you stay very observant of your environment so you are not stuck in a situation where you can get bullied.  You can seek friends, teachers, or parents.  You can even go to the police if you have to.

 

For scraping by on a meager income, look at yourself.  Are you gaining in knowledge and skill to find something better?  Are you pursuing your own business ideas?  Do you waste time lounging around, watching tv, or doing anything else that does not help you?  You can be very proactive in looking to better your career.  Do not let ANYTHING hinder you.  If you see an opportunity, do not ever say, ‘well I can’t do that because there’s rules/policies/procedures that won’t let me’.  Nonsense!  Be proactive and confident and make your dreams happen.

 

For parents who mistreat and neglect, I will admint, there is not much you can do growing up.  Some parents just flat out neglect their children, from minor neglect to severe neglect where life is threatened.  My advice to you if this is happening is to hold on to live.  Seek the aid of police and other legal authorities if you have to.  If your neglect is simply minor like your parents ignore you, confront them about it.  Make sure there are no distractions, and tell them how you feel.  Maybe they just don’t know they are neglecting you.  Do what you can to turn things around.

 

Dealing with people who lie can be frustrating.  Life seems difficult when there are many who get away with constant lying and there are people who continue to believe them.  Try educating yourself on what people are saying.  Always validate for yourself what someone is saying, no matter how good it sounds.  Take the time to find things out for yourself.  Never believe what someone tells you without first validating it yourself.  This can be through research, seeking the perspective of others, or through meditation.  Then accept people for who they are and move on.  You have more important things to achieve.

 

Seeing others suffer is difficult.  With much suffering in the world, it is easy to ask what the point of life is.  But you can look at yourself and your attitude about it.  You can complain about it and let it get to you, or you can be proactive and take steps to better situations.  Accept that suffering is a part of life until you see nobody suffering for a long period of time, but the reality is, that people are going to suffer.  If you can accept this, you will find more peace within yourself.

 

My environment makes it just too hard to succeed.  You may think that your situation prevents success.  You come from a run down neighborhood, have no friends, have no money, have nothing at all.  You can mope and complain about all of this and look at where it gets you as evidence to the effectiveness of that behavior.  Or you can take extra effort and learn, make things happen, and turn your situations around.  It won’t be easy, but with a little extra effort, over time, you will realize results.

 

Other people are just ‘lucky’.  Yes, some people are lucky.  They win millions in lotteries or from gambling.  You can complain about this, or just accept that some people are lucky.  Look at what complaining about others luck does - nothing!  Try spending your time looking at ways to better yourself and your situation and you will find far better things happening.

 

The point is, there are a number of things you can do to change situations around, and they all start with YOU!  Remember, accept what you can’t change, and WORK HARD to change what you can.

 

Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen?

 

Some believe in a higher power, some do not.  If you don’t see the point in life, chances are you believe that there is nothing beyond living a mortal life on this earth.  There is nothing wrong with believing that once we die here on earth, that everything is over.  However, even with that belief, there is still a time on earth in which we are living.  There are still people and real things happening that require attention.  You can choose to complain about things, or make them better.

 

For someone asking why God lets bad things happen, I ask you to be specific.  What bad things is God letting happen?  And if you believe him responsible, then you have a belief in a higher power.

 

After some time, a list of bad things like this may be created:

 

• Wars
• Famines
• Earthquakes, Hurricanes, Tornadoes and other natural disastors
• People who lie, cheat, steal, and kill
• Corruption in government and in business
• Unfair and uneven distribution of wealth around the world

 

These are some things that people may think God is responsible for.  There are likely many others that people can come up with.  If you are not specific about what the bad things happening are, then I believe you to be just complaining because you likely saw someone starving on tv or in the news, or something like that.  Now, there are some people who witness first hand some of the devastation, destruction, and corruption that occurs in the world, and these people can get very specific.

 

The earth has been around for a while.  Scientists can date the earth back billions of years.  Humans have been on the earth for at least a few thousand years.  That’s many, many billions of people having lived, each one making choices and decisions.  The inter-twining of all these decisions creates situations and events that affect the world, both the people and the environment.  The earth itself also has things that happen on it, related to weather and the structure of the land.  I am no scientist, but I am willing to bet, that the weather, and the movement of land is all related to a pattern that the earth follows in relation to physical laws (like gravity).

 

The present day is the culmination and result of billions and billions of decisions and behavior of people living for thousands of years.  During the week, I leave my house for work.  I decide to eat.  I work on and develop websites.  God does not come down and say, ‘nope, you can’t leave today, you can’t go to work, and you can’t eat’.  There are other things happening beyond this such as wars and calamities.  As one person, I cannot say if God is intervening in any way, or if he is just allowing us the opportunity to make things better.

 

I believe each of our choices goes unhindered by God so that we can learn and grow.  I believe we are allowed to make choices and decisions and to face responsibility for them.  This means that anyone living faces that same law.  As such, with so many decisions and choices going on, there are going to be some bad and some good ones.  Some people will start conflict, others will seek to improve and aid other people.  The reality is that the behavior of people is unhindered by God from what is visible to the average human perception.  I accept this.  I accept that situations are changed through the decisions and efforts of those living on the earth today.

 

I ask those of you asking why God lets bad things happen, that you look at the world we live in.  If you are asking this question, then you must believe in God.  If you do not believe in him, then you have no question to even ask as we’re all just living on an earth with nobody able to intervene except the people on it.  Either way, you can look to yourself and the attitude, decisions, and things you do each and every day.

 

What are You Doing to Get More Out of Life?

 

If all I did in my life was go to work/school, come home and watch tv, stuff my face with potato chips, and constantly talk to other people who didn’t see the point in life, perhaps I would start to feel that there was no point to life.  Or you may be doing any number of things where you just live day to day in a rut.  If you are doing any of these things, you are creating the no point in life for yourself.  If you live day to day without any real desire for anything, then your life will have no point by default.

 

So how do you get to seeing a point in life?  My website, drjerm.com, exists to address this issue.  Try visiting and Discovering Your Destiny and start seeing if there is more to life than what you are currently looking to achieve.  I know that with just the desire to get more out of life, that you will get on a path to experiencing better things in life.

   

Life Has Challenges… and Choices

 

One of the most interesting things I’ve found in my life as I’ve sought to get more out of it and make things happen is that life does not get easier.  More challenges present themselves to be overcome.  I wonder if the fear of having to deal with more than just a routine is what keeps people from trying new and interesting things?  Either way, whoever you are, life is going to present challenges.

 

Whatever the challenge, a choice can be made to complain, mope, and waste time.  This will keep the challenge there and maybe even increase it.  It is a natural reaction to complain whenever something does not match your ideal picture of it.  Knowing this, you can now make a choice to not complain.

 

The next time you are in a situation where you feel like complaining, instead look at your other options.  You can take the time to help the situation by assisting whoever is responsible for the situation.  At the very least, you can change your mind set and be thankful for what you have and accepting of the choices of others.  This will give you an iron will and inner peace that will provide immense benefit as you continue on in life.

 

Examples of People Getting More Out of Life

 

I’ve compiled a list of people that are worth investigation that are getting much out of life.  These people have challenges they face for sure in their lives.  Please read carefully their stories.  I know that in life, we get out of it what we choose to.  It is that simple.  With a little effort and faith, you can see the point in life.

• Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
• Steve Nash
• Bill Gates
• Paul Potts
• Nick Vujicic

This is an article about why marriages fail and how to keep a marriage healthy.  To start, I give my disclaimer that I am not the ultimate sure fire source for information on this subject.  I give a lot of things from my point of view and from what I’ve seen.  There are cases where a marriage fails because it is the right thing to do or for reasons I cannot explain.  However, I do believe the information I share is for the majority of cases for a marriage failing and what can be done to have a healthy marriage.  Marriage is something that requires constant effort and attention, and I see this every day, even in my marriage.

 

You can probably find a lot of information about how to keep the fire going in a marriage and here are all the things that can go wrong in a marriage.  You will see situations of marriage given, advice from experts, and everything under the sun trying to explain failing marriages.  I would like to take a different approach.  I would like to talk about the hidden trurths of failing marriages and relationships and what are the real reasons for the marriage failing.

 

Getting Married For No Other Purpose Than Physical Attraction and Enjoyment

 

There is nothing wrong with being physically attracted to someone and having a good feeling when you spend time with them.  Problems occur when the decision to get married is made just because you feel good together.  This will likely cause a failed marriage.  This is even more severe when the relationship has only been going on for a short time (a few months or less).  The problem with this is that marriage is a LIFE together.  It is not just hanging out having a good time with minimal responsibility.  A true marriage requires the joining of efforts from 2 people to succeed in life together.

 

The problems that arise from marriage without a purpose other than physical attraction and enjoyment is that as time goes on and things need to be addressed like bills, living arrangements, annoying habits, expectations, pets, children, planning for the future, financial planning, dealing with sickness and hardship, dealing with extended family members, dealing with the newness of marriage wearing off over time, and the list goes on.  There is a plethora of things to be dealt with in a marriage and the list only gets bigger over time.

 

For the wife in the marriage, you are interested in security and quality time with your husband and dealing with kids and keeping the house clean, and the husband ignores you because he’s too busy working or watching the game on tv, and all of a sudden things are much different than when you were dating and you had his undivided attention.  All of a sudden you aren’t getting the things you want and this can lead to some bad decisions which I will talk about later.

 

For the husband, you are interested in your wife’s physical appearance and the pursuing of the things you want to do, likely related to sports, outdoors, or business ventures.  You want independence and it is a hard thing for you to deal with poopy diapers of your children, cleaning up in the kitchen, or taking over doing the laundry here and there.  This wasn’t your idea of what marriage is and as such, you may make some bad decisions as you seek to relieve yourself of these duties.

 

What Causes a Spouse to Run Off With Another Guy/Gal

 

This is an area in marriages failing that isn’t discussed enough.  For both a husband and a wife, if the feeling is that the other spouse is not giving you enough attention or that things are just getting dull and you are getting by only, then this will start small but fester over time.  Over a long period of time, eventually the spouse feeling neglected or ignored will have a tough time dealing with it.  Let’s face it, we all need attention, love, and care.

 

What are some ways a spouse is neglected?  Maybe your wife tries to talk to you constantly about important things to her like the garden outside, your baby daughters teeth coming in, buying a car seat, plans for groceries, ways to spice up your marriage, movies she would like to see and more.  If you’re not interested in these kinds of things and just ignore her, you are making a very unwise decision if you wish your marriage to not fail.

 

Maybe your husband really likes sports and tries to talk to you, the wife, but you really hate sports and could care less.  You just brush him off every time.  He tries to talk computers with you, but you loathe the idea of talking about technology.  Maybe he likes to run, swim, eat apples, or enjoys certain activities.  If you do not show an interest in this, this is going to affect his happiness in the marriage.

 

What happens is that the neglected spouse can then become seeking to get the approval and attention of someone who is interested in them.  This may start harmlessly from just talking to someone casually, but the reality is, someone showing even a little interest will start a fire in the neglected spouse that will consume them.  I mean hey, someone is showing me attention, likes me.  I feel good, this hasn’t happened to me in a long time, I like this!

 

The danger with this is a false reality of getting into a relationship based on physical attraction and enjoyment with another person.  For the most part, that’s all a situation like this is.  A marriage has become dry and dull and a spouse has found someone that is breathing new life into them.  It’s just like dating someone for the first time where you like the person - things are good, but for all the wrong reasons.  At first things are great, but over time, all the responsiblities of life have to be dealt with and that relationship will shatter!  The relationship is based on deceit, lies, and only ‘feeling good’.  What a sandy and shaky foundation for a relationship, not to mention it is behind your spouse’s back!

 

There are other problems in a marriage, such as being too controlling, finances, abuse, and more.  But I honestly believe that the biggest problem faced in marriages today is the drying up and dullness of a marriage.  One spouse is no longer attracted to the other because the other one put on some weight or whatever reason.  And things are dull so one spouse looks elsewhere to have their needs fulfilled.  If this one area was addressed properly for all before going into a marriage and during a marraige, I know there would be FAR less divorces in our world.

 

Frustrations From a Husbands Point of View

 

From my view point, and probably a good many of other husbands, there are just some things about us that make us the way we are.  For us, sex is a physical thing.  We enjoy our wife looking good.  We like it when our wife shows interest in us and makes the first move.  We like a wife who is confident and takes charge.  A wife who makes things happen and is motivated is a big plus for us.  A wife who is supportive of our work endeavors and is at least somewhat interested in sports helps.  These, and many more things, are just realities.

 

Now this is not to say that the wives have to be all these things and more.  But for a marriage to have lasting interest for a husband, a good many of these things have to at least be recognized and comprimised on by the wife.  At least recognize and try to do some of these things.  For you wives, you will be amazed at your husbands attention if you decide to get in shape, show some confidence, and take charge of things.

 

A good many of husband frustrations in marriage deal with their needs in these areas not being met.  A big one is our wife keeping her body looking good and her showing confidence.  This does NOT mean that as a husband you nag your wife about doing these things.  Just show love, appreciation, and COMMUNICATE to your wife the things you are interested in.  Talk to her when she is not distracted and be sincere with her.  Be open, honest, and understanding.  Be willing to comprimise.

 

Frustrations From a Wifes Point of View

 

As a husband, you will frustrate your marriage if you do not spend quality time with your wife.  Of course this is easy to do when you are dating and first married.  Everything is bliss, it usually is.  But over time, the course of life sets in and a partnership begins that requires spending time working on.  Your marriage will be strengthened just by spending quality time with your wife.  This means having dinner together, going on walks, going to the movies with her, helping her with whatever she is doing and communicating with her.

 

As a husband, you too should take time to keep yourself in shape, look good, and be confident.  Show your wife that you are special and can make things happen.  Keep advancing your career so you can provide for you and your family, but still spend quality time with your wife and family.  Help out with the kids, chores, laundry, dishes, and more.  Your marriage will flourish if you spend time on these important aspects.

 

A good many of wife frustrations in marriage come from feeling like the husband is not helping out around the house, paying attention to the needs of her, ignoring her advances, and just flat out being more interested in his own personal things, rather than the interests of her or the family.

 

Realities In Marriage That Must Be Realized and Have Understanding

 

Some simple realities must be realized and comprimized on.  I’ve compiled a simple list describing the key ones for marriage.

 

• Husbands will be tempted to look at pornography (A good husband will admit this and a good wife will be understanding.  As long as both parties recognize it and the effort is made to stay away from it, both parties should be satisfied.  If your husband slips, do not scold him.  Be understanding, support him, and do the things described above to get his attention.)
• Husbands will turn their head when there is a ‘hot gal’ (This is a guy thing.  Guys are taken to women that look good.  As long as a husband is sensible and doesn’t act on this impulse, a wife should be understanding.)
• Wives like to shop and buy things - usually for the family (As a husband, do not stress or roll your eyes when your wife shops.  She is probably doing it because she feels she is filling a need for your family - and she probably is!  Show some support for once.)
• Wives want their husband to help around the house (This is a tough one.  When I come home from work I am tired.  But I also know I must be responsible and help out.  It isn’t easy, but every little bit helps.  Your wife will love you for helping out.)
• Husbands want to spend time on their hobbies (sports, computers, whatever it may be) (We all have hobbies and things we like to do, both husband and wife.  Each spouse must be supportive and the spouse with the hobby must understand moderation in all things.)
• Husbands want an attractive and confident wife (The chance of a husband looking elsewhere for women will be a lot less with an attractive and confident wife.  As a wife, do what it takes to look good and take charge.)
• Wives want a husband who doesn’t scratch them with scruff when kissing (This is one I struggle with.  I have to shave every day to not have scruff.  But the benefits of doing so will likely mean a more physically attentive wife.)
• Wives want a husband that takes care of the family financially (Husbands, don’t be dead beats.  Keep a job, look for extra ways to make money.  Continue your education if necessary and provide for your families.  If you are not the provider, support your wife as she provides for your family.)

 

This is a hard look at why marriages fail and what can be done to keep marriages healthy.  It is from my point of view and I know there are special cases or variations that apply to marriages out there.  But take the general idea of what I am saying and apply it to your marriage.  Seek to understand first before seeking to be understood and your marriages will flourish.

 

 

Stop Procrastinating - Tips To Be Proactive

 

Procrastination is something that is a common issue people deal with across the globe, and if you are having trouble with procrastination, you are not alone.  It is even something I have to deal with as I seek to do the things I am doing.  It’s an area that needs addressing, so let me share some information about procrastination and what you can do to be proactive.

 

1. Recognize that you are procrastinating, this is a very important step.  Doing so means you are not in denial, you are recognizing a problem, and you are prepared to overcome it.  Many people have a hard time even getting to this step, so you’re doing a great job getting to this point.

 

2. For me, procrastination happens when I don’t have any clear idea of what I desire to do in life.  Earlier when I was younger this was a big problem.  As I’ve gotten older, not so much now as I clearly know what I want out of life.  I wish when I was younger, someone would have told me some information that would help me be proactive and stop procrastinating

 

For instance, here are some of my priorities in life right now:

 

• Take care of my wife and 1 year old daughter by having more than enough financial stability
• Continue building up drjerm.com as a useful resource for those seeking guidance and direction
• Build up Media Learner (the company I work for during the day) by developing great software
• Keep my self physically fit by exercising at least 3 times a week
• Eat only those foods which will provide benefit to my body, with an occasional splurge
• Seek inspiring, uplifting, and thought provoking entertainment and media

 

If you are young and in hich school, a proactive list may look like this for you:

 

• Get the most out of high school by putting studies and homework before leisure time (games, tv, partying, etc…)
• Figure out what I am most interested in, passionate about, and good at.  Take this and pursue it as my career
• Build a network of positive relationships with people that excel in the career path I am taking
• Any other worthwhile things you would like to do…

 

Or if you are a bit older, maybe your list for proactive actions might look like this:

 

• Continue my education to gain skills and abilities to better my lifestlye and finances
• Better my marriage by using the drjerm website and applying the information :)
• Seek friends and associates who will build me up and uplift me
• Take the steps to pursue my passion and dreams

 

3. In our early years, through high school and college, most people aren’t thinking too much about the path their life is going to take.  The few that do have a huge advantage as they are at a very young age taking action.  These are the kinds of people that are the movers and shakers of the world, like the creators of Google, MySpace, Facebook, and more.

 

So, the first step for you is to decide that you are not going to procrastinate.   The second step is to then make the hard choices that will prevent procrastination.  This is where successful people are brought out.  Since you are used to procrastinating, a change of habit must be done and it can be a painful process.  Each day you will have things you know you need to do.  You really don’t need any organizational software.  Just notepad or something to write the important things down with.

 

Then allocate time to do those things you know you should be doing.  This must be time free of distractions like tv, friends, and games.  This means telling everyone around you that you are changing to be proactive. 

 

Like I said, this is not an easy thing to do, it’s a change of mind and priority.  But I promise you if you constantly keep in your mind that you are proactive and successful, and then you make time and physically get yourself in the situation to accomplish the task you need to do, that you will become used to doing it.  Then your natural instinct will eventually be a proactive mindset and procrastination will be uncomfortable to you.

 

4. Allocate specific time.  This may be 6:30 am to 7:30 am is homework time.  7:00 pm to 8:00 pm is time for you to work on a website you had an idea for, etc…  The difficult thing that many people face is that to overcome procrastination, some leisurely time must be cut out, such as lounging around, watching tv, playing video games, or hanging out with friends.  You don’t cut those things out completely, but they become secondary to the most important things in life for you to succeed.

 

I know that a consistent effort each day and making time for the most important things will begin to change your mind set of what is most important.  You can do it.  Feel free to browse all the pages of my site and my blog and see what else there may be of assistance for you.  Let your friends/family know they can browse the site and contact me if they are seeking advice.  If you haven’t already, go through my self improvement tutorial and

 

Discover Your Destiny.

 

I know with a little faith and effort that procrastination can be overcome.  Eventually, you will get to the point where procrastinating becomes difficult to do!  You will loathe the idea of putting things off as doing the important things has such value and worth that you will love doing them.

Believe in Yourself.

 

Your belief in yourself is the level to which you think you can accomplish anything in your life. Your belief in yourself is the sum of all that you have experienced in life. It is your failures and achievements. Finally, it is the choice you make to either act, or to do nothing.

 

Your belief in yourself is the sum of your life experiences

 

Growing up as a young boy and teenager, I was occassionally made fun of and teased. I had crooked front teeth and was very shy. At that time in my life, my belief in myself was not very high. This caused me to be very passive and reactive to life. My belief in myself was not very high.

 

You may have had experiences in your life like this that take away your self belief. As I have grown older, I see now that my belief in myself is no longer based upon what other people think or say about me. Believing in yourself should be affected by one person only, you.

 

If you believe in yourself

 

If you trurly believe in yourself, then you will realize that your action really determines your belief. Are you taking the steps to become better at what you do? Are you educating yourself and striving for excellence? Or are you just getting by with the bare minimum life has to offer? You will find that if you are being proactive, that you have a high belief in yourself.

 

Gaining belief in yourself is a simple choice. The choice to weed out the negative thoughts that hold you back. The choice to make friends with those who will uplift and inspire you. The choice to seek after those things which will better yourself and those around you.

 

Failure and Achievement Should Not Affect Your Belief in Yourself

 

I may attempt 100 ideas that I have in my life and none of them may succeed. I may end up 90 years old, at the end of my life and look back at a slew of failures. If this happens, I will smile and know that I gave life my best effort and believe in myself. Who can really say what success is. Just by believing in yourself and seeking to make a difference, you will succeed. You do not have to make millions of dollars, all you have to do is try.

 

In the end, you have a choice to believe in yourself

 

Whether you have a head ache, are tired, excited, grumpy, energetic, sad, or happy, your belief in yourself can remain a constant if you choose. I am tired right now. There was a storm last night and I got only a few hours of sleep. It does not matter. My belief in myself is independent of external events. I realize I am talented and smart. I know with some simple decision making, that you can believe in yourself to.