By: drjerm

drjerm — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:17:52 +0000

Thanks Brett for your insight. I believe in the end, that a positive outlook on the whole situation is going to be the best benefit and you have a wonderful attitude.

By: Brett Gubler

Brett Gubler — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:58:14 +0000

I would like to add a little to my previous comment. I had only been there a short time and in no way wish to compare my experience to Dr. Jerm’s experience. It was a much greater blow to him as he had actually worked for many months without getting paid to help found this company and so the lack of loyalty was greater towards him then to me. I did however experience some very strong negative emotions as well and looking at the postive thing helped me deal with them. Thats all I was trying to say.

By: Brett A. Gubler

Brett A. Gubler — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:07:29 +0000

I was also one of the developers that was dropped by the same company as Dr. Jerm. I also found myself dealing with unhealthy strong negative emotions that were not doing me any good. Instead of picking up my computer and throwing it out the window I tried to calm down and think it out and look for the positive things that came out of the experience. They say every cloud has a silver lining and this one did. 1) I had been at my previous job for 13 years and felt stuck because I didn’t feel like I could do anything else. At this job I gained confidence in myself and my abilities to succeed outside of my first job I found out of college. 2) I hadn’t been there long enough to get any kind of compensation after my last paycheck. However Dr. Jerm and the other developer there pulled some strings and made sure I did get something. After paying for my medical loses from the medical insurance gap that I had there was still money left over. 3) I gained new skills, knowledge, and experience I wouldn’t otherwise have gained. 4) I was able to get my old job back at my old pay, but even better then that I didn’t have to on afterhours oncall anymore. 5) I was given a 2 year MSDN subscription that I got to keep. 6) I got to become better friends with Dr. Jerm and the other developer that worked there with us. 7) They gave me 7 days paid vacation while I was there that doesn’t count againts my total vacation days at my old job. After I thought about all those things I began wondering if this was really something I should be angry about or was this just a blessing in disguise. Then my anger changed to mostly just sadness that a great job opportunity had gone away. I belive that any experience that happens to us, no matter how terrible is seems at the time, there are always some positive things that come out of it. If you can look at those things it can help you in dealing with powerful negative emotions.

Comments on: Handling Intense Negative Emotions

By: drjerm

By: Brett Gubler

By: Brett A. Gubler