Here’s a tip for all of you reading. Don’t get a tummy bug. This simple tip will save you many hours of newfound moaning and groaning. Of course I don’t have the magic formula for never getting the tummy bug, but I do want to share the amazing transformation that may take place when you get the tummy bug.
It truly is amazing. The moment a tummy bug is realized in me, it’s as if all resources, every ounce of energy is immediately diverted to this icky intruder. Whatever my problems were before, they are over. The tummy bug is the only problem that matters now.
Your Past Worries are Gone
Whatever worries you have in your life, whether it be money, job security, insecurity with yourself, or whatever it may be, the amazing tummy bug will crush those worries like a giant stepping on a bush. They will be gone. You will forget that a girl turned you down for a date or that you got fired or that you don’t have much money. Instead, the tummy bug will remove all problems and leave you with just one problem. And that is the churning, all-consuming pain and anguish that is the tummy bug. But hey, at least your other problems are gone!
It is amazing the focus that having the tummy bug generates. It is truly of epic proportions. Having trouble concentrating on one thing? No problem, go get the tummy bug and you will gain more focus than Bobby Fischer could have ever had playing chess. Granted that focus will be solely on managing the pain in your stomach, potentially taking medicine, and fighting your newfound pain, but at least you will have focus!
Fear is Gone
Were you afraid of something happening, or talking to someone in the past? With the tummy bug, this no longer matters. The tummy bug cures fear! King Tut could come back from the dead, waltz into your room and threaten your soul. And this won’t phase you, it will be as a gnat barely brushing against you. After all, the twisting and writhing you are experiencing from your tummy bug has your attention for the moment.
Motivation may be hard for some. But get the tummy bug. You will find motivation you never thought you had with the tummy bug. Your will garner such an intense motivation to get better that you will be able to write the book on motivation and doing everything possible to achieve something. This can range from loud moans and groans, to desperate prayers of tummy soothing, to researching until you are blue in the face about how to treat a tummy bug. You may even consume as much Pepto Bismol as you can to help your stomach.
In the end, you will respect the tummy bug after recently having it. You will protect yourself from it, do all you can to not get it. It is yucky. It will turn your life upside down for a couple days. You will look behind you more when you are alone, ever watching for the tummy bug. And when years have passed and the tummy bug is becoming a distant memory, it will begin to try and creep back into your life, and perhaps the tummy bug cycle will begin again! Perhaps the tummy bug is a way to keep us all in check. Either that, or it’s just something to really annoy the heck out of us.