In the movie trilogy, “The Lord of the Rings” (LOTR), there is a gruesome and pitiful creature known as ‘Smeagol’. He also goes by the name ‘Gollum’. A main storyline in LOTR is the sad story of Smeagol and his desperate quest to find the One Ring of Power.
Smeagol once possessed this ring and became addicted to the power it brought him. Having lost the ring before the LOTR series, Smeagol became obsessed in finding it. Everything he did was based on his need for the ring. He was addicted to it. In the end, it was the catalyst for the fate he suffered.
There are many things in life that one should never be desperate for. By desperate I mean where your whole purpose for existing revolves around trying to fill the void of desperation you have. There are three desperations in particular that I would like to talk about.
Desperate for love
Throughout life, I’ve seen the desperation and need for love drive people to do some pretty crazy things. And this desperation for love has come from people who are single, divorced, married – it does not matter your current relationship status. It is ok to desire companionship from another person. But think about how much you are thinking about it. If all of your actions and time is solely spent on finding love, this should be a warning sign to you that you are way too desperate.
Especially if you are married and you find yourself looking to other men/women for love, take a step back. You are likely not spending nearly the amount of time on your marriage that you should be. If your marriage is not meant to be, take the steps to end it by communicating with your spouse. But don’t go waltzing around behind your partners back looking for love and think it’s okay. If you are not happy, communicate with your partner.
If your desire for love from another is the driving force in your life, I encourage you to take a second look at yourself. I created drjerm.com to help people who struggle and face challenges in life. This challenge is a big one. If you take the time to go through my site and start working on creating a better you, you will then start spending less time on finding love and more time on doing the things you are passionate and talented about. When you are happy, confident, and energetic, you will attract those who are the same. You will then find the right kind of love, instead of in desperation, taking the first person that pays attention to you and smiles, and annointing that person as your true love.
Desperate for money
The recent news of mortgage companies facing serious financial troubles raises several issues. One of the main ones is greed. It is ok to want to have a lot of money. But when that desire for money is at the forefront of all your decisions and you have no regard for your friends, co-workers, or family, then you are in serious trouble. You become a slave to money and the many other areas of life will evade you. Yes, you may get rich and be well to do with money. But you will also likely be a chaotic spender of that money and get yourself into serious financial trouble.
With no back bone of living sound principals, including finance, even with large sums of money, you can bet that your greed will cause you to spend that money on things you probably don’t need. And the more you spend, the more money you will want and a vicious spiral will form. You will have no regard for people. You will lie to people to get what you want. Please, I’ve seen what greed for money can do to people. Don’t let yourself get caught up with money being your primary focus to the point you will become cut throat and betray people. Manage your money responsibly of course, but don’t let money be your driving force.
Desperate for acceptance
While growing up and going through schooling, up through high school, I was witness to many people who were desperate to fit in. This caused them to act in a very irrational way that ended up ostracizing them from people even more. Some kids in high school wanted to fit in so they got drunk, or smoked weed, or did other harmful drugs. Or they would go through haneous initiations into groups that left them bruised and battered. People focused on manipulation of others was common in high school and is indeed prevalent in all age groups.
My advice for those of you who are looking for acceptance is to stop trying to get accepted first and foremost and take a step back and examine yourself. Yes look at yourself, nobody else. Start spending time working on yourself, what you can do to be a little kinder, less of a back-biter, more of a friend. Look to help people. Don’t always ask people what they think of you. This is a bad sign. First be accepting of yourself. When you reach that point, you will no longer need to ask people if you are doing the right thing, look ok, etc…
In the end, what matters most is where you are at in life and your acceptance of yourself. If you are not happy with where you are, make the changes necessary to find happiness. This involves hard work, kindness, and a slew of other things you can read about on drjerm.com. I know that if you put time and effort, along with a little faith, into bettering yourself, you will no longer be desperate for anything, and find a true happiness that will transcend this life and carry you forward for the rest of your existence.
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