Regret can consume you if you let it.  I know from experience.  I am sure that every person alive has many things in their past that they can dwell on and feel guilty or sorry about.  Perhaps you wish you would have done better in school, or even attended school.  Maybe your frustrated with a few bad relationships that never worked out.  Or maybe you look back on the years of your life and wonder what it is all for, and consider all the time wasted.  Let’s take a moment and read about the man who regretted everything.

 

There was a man, when born regretted leaving his mother’s womb and entering the world.  The womb was cosy, he wanted to go back.

 

When in pre-school, he regretted growing up and wanted to be a baby again, so he could be fed and cuddled all the time.

 

When in elementary school, wished he could go back to pre school.  There were half days and life was easy.  Now a full day of school was too much.

 

As high school rolled around, he wished he could go back to elementary school.  Life was simple then and girls were never an issue.  Homework was easier.

 

As the college years rolled by, he longed for high school.  He missed his friends and wanted to enjoy the easy life of living with his parents.

 

As his career began, and he began to age, he wished he could be in college again.  A few more parties would make him happy again.

 

Upon reaching middle age, the man longed for his younger years working.  He didn’t feel as much pain and had more energy.

 

The end of his life approaching, the man looked back at his life.  He wondered how his life was coming to an end so quickly.  He wished that he could start over again.

 

Live in the moment

 

Like this man, we too may often dwell on the past and long for things that once were.  Beware this fools gold.  Our lives are what we make of them.  Choose to enjoy what is happening this very moment and you will never want for the past.  You will look on the past with fond memories instead.  Live every moment to its fullest, and I can promise you that regret will be hard to come by.

 

Handling Regrets

 

I have many things in my past that I could regret.  Some are embarassing, others silly.  Let me share several of these with you, and I do so with a knowledge that some may make me appear foolish or silly.  I am fine with this as I have learned to live with my past.  I will explain how I accept each of these now and with that and a drum roll, here are some of the things I used to regret, but now which I have learned to live with.

 

• Growing up, I was very shy.  Because of this, there were girls I could have gotten to know and increase my socializing skills with.  Because of this, I have had to work hard learning how to handle social situations.

 

I acknowledge and accept that I was once a shy person with little confidence.  Perhaps it robbed me of some experiences that would have been useful, but it was who I was.  I accept that, and all the good and bad that it created.

 

• I played basketball in high school, but never feel I really achieved my potential.  I always felt like something was wrong with me.

 

There is nothing wrong with me.  I am a talented basketball player.  Perhaps my role on the team wasn’t the best it could have been, or other factors contributed.  I used to think of these things.  Now I accept the outcome of my high school basketball career and have since moved on, and enjoy whenever I can play.

 

• I’ve been a little too pushy and over-protective with people in my past, and even recent past.  Perhaps I will have the fortune that one of those people will read this blog entry.  They will know who they are.  I pried and kept tabs on certain people which I will keep anonymous.  I even had the nerve to park my car after one finished a late night date to make sure they got home on time.  My decision making with these people was not the best it could have been and I pushed them away because of it.

 

I no longer worry about how I was too over-protective and the way I was too pushy.  I realized that I just cared and handled it in the wrong way.  I have since changed to a stance where I believe people will blossom and grown and learn, while trying to provide help from afar in the best way I know how.  I know that I am not perfect, but I am able to look back and accept both the harm and good that resulted from my being over-protective, and am happy with my change since then.

 

• I helped start a business with someone, and eventually was hired as a full time employee for a company they created.  Things did not work out at all and the result was a big strain on my life.

 

Several of my past blog entries cover in detail this situation, and my frustration and anger at the time is very evident.  In the past, I had anger, frustration, and revenge on my mind.  I felt betrayed.  There are times where I’ve acted out of anger and frustration towards business partners, in a couple different situations, and though I am sorry for it, I now accept my actions for who I was back then. As time has gone on and a little wisdom prevailed, I no longer feel any regret for this.  They are learning situations.  Whatever the reasons for it not working out, I accept, and have since moved on to furthering drjerm, writing a book, and other exciting things.

 

I know with a little effort and faith, that you can destroy your regrets.  You will no longer have them as you accept them and take the learning experiences and add them to your growth in life.

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A 14 year old boy named Daniel walked the halls of his new junior high school with anxiety and timidness. He’d never quite fit in at school his entire life, so why would now be any different. Daniel wore a pair of rugged and fading blue jeans, with a gray shirt that was fading equally as far. His mother worked as a janitor for a local business, and his father worked at the post office. Their combined wages were just barely enough to care for their son and themselves. Daniel had no brothers and sisters, and had a hard time in public places. He often smelled funny and the children at school mostly left him alone completely, or poked fun at him.

 

One day, while Daniel was walking through the halls in school, a couple of kids thought it would be funny to knock his books out of his hands.  As they ran back, pushing him and knocking his books to the floor, Daniel bent down to pick them up.  Holding back his tears, he gathered the books up, one by one.  He stood up, and stumbled to his locker, getting ready for his next class.

 

On another occasion, Daniel was in gym class.  He had a hard time with sports and doing physical activities.  He was slow and weak, and never spent much time doing anything physical related.  In gym class, as the students were jumping rope, Daniel tripped over his rope several times.  There were other students that laughed at him, making rude noises towards him.  Daniel did the best he could even with being made fun of.

 

In the lunchroom, Daniel received his food on his tray and sat down at a table, all by himself.  No students seemed to want to sit down next to him as he smelled and looked funny.  As Daniel stared at his food and ate his lunch, a student sat across from his table.  It was Calvin, the captain of the basketball team.  Calvin asked Daniel if he could sit by him.  Daniel barely looked at him, shrugging his shoulders.

 

As Daniel ate lunch, Calvin talked casually with him, asking him how things were going and how family life was.  Slowly, Daniel began to open up to Calvin.  Later in the day, Calvin walked with Daniel in the halls.  Nobody was pushing him or knocking his books out of his hands.  In gym class, Calvin stood next to Daniel, helping and teaching him.  Calvin even stumbled a few times as he did this, breaking a smile from Daniel.

 

Over time, Calvin became a good friend to Daniel.  Daniel soon developed coordination and confidence.  He looked forward instead of at the floor.  Daniel went on to finish high school and go on to study medicine.  The kind actions of one person to spend a little time with another greatly influenced the life of Daniel.  Because one person cared, Daniel’s life took a new turn for the better.

 

Show some compassion to someone today

 

Perhaps you know a Daniel in your life.  Someone who is struggling, but is unwilling to ask for help.  Or maybe in your own family there is a brother or sister who needs guidance.  Whoever it is, take a few minutes to just talk to them.  Spend some time with them and tell them how thankful you are for them.  It is amazing the transformation that can take place when someone knows they are cared about.

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