Every so often in the news, you hear about the winner of some gigantic lottery. This person won $20,000,000 in the multi mega millions lottery sweep stakes. Their life is forever changed and they never have to be concerned about money anymore. Actually, they now have to be very concerned about money and if they do not, disaster, bankruptcy, and running from creditors will be the next step.  Guessing about anything, particularly money, is generally not a good idea.

Or there is the night before a school exam.  You haven’t studied and you cram for an hour.  You also cram for a few minutes before the test.  When you get your test, it is the equivalent of you being placed in front of stone tablets with egyptian hieroglyphics written and you are being asked to translate.  In this case you could say, “The tablets say the cows ate up all the nachos and boy did they taste good.”  You could also say, “The tablets say that the Egyptians were an ancient people and had tombs with mummies in them and they built the pyramids.”  The second is more of an educated guess, but in realtiy, in both cases, you are really talking out of your you know what.  You are guessing in all its glory.  You do not have knowledge of what exactly is needed.

Ok, so what’s the problem with guessing?

In most cases, guessing is not the most efficient way to approach a situation.  It leaves things to chance and luck, usually with very low chances of success.  Ever taken a test that you didn’t study for and you didn’t know much about?  Chances are you got a very low grade.  Yes, there are some geniuses who can probably wing it and ace the test anyways, but these are geniuses, half of a half of a percent.

It is much easier to guess at something right away without doing any research or studying on it.  But in the end, all you have really done is just sloppily eliminated one wrong way of doing something.  I have heard many people give the example of approaches to doing something as it relates to ‘ready-aim-fire’.  I will use this example.  I like it and I think it fits.

Imagine you are holding a sniper rifle like the marine in this picture. And you have to hit many targets with this weapon and hit them dead on - or your mission will not be complete. You also have a limited number of shots and a limited amount of time.  Now think for a moment what would happen if this marine decided to just stand up, start pointing his weapon around, and firing at random, hoping he hits his targets?

There’s a good chance he would be out of ammunition (the stuff that his rifle shoots), and have missed his mark on most, if not all, his targets.  Not only that, there is a chance that he could hurt anyone that is around him because of the danger his guessing with this weapon is causing.  He may not even realize he has hurt those people either because of the long range of his weapon.  He was just hoping that he hit all his targets and meant no harm to any people that were around.

That’s right, he was just hoping he hit his targets and didn’t really realize he could potentially hurt other people.  This is one scenario that could happen.  And it is an all too common scenario in our lives today.  The abundance of guessing and not having a sure knowledge leave our lives to random chance.  This is a scary thing!  Let’s look at some theoretical examples to illustrate this point.

•  I’d like to start a business and become a millionaire.  I’ll just get an equity loan on my house, a small business loan, max out my credit cards, and hire a bunch of people.  Maybe this will work out for me.
• Gosh, I’d like to lose weight.  There’s good foods out there, but I can’t really be bothered to eat them.  Besides, I don’t know how to cook and I don’t know what the best foods for me are or how much to eat or where to buy them.
• I’m so excited to get married soon.  Me and my wife are going to have a wonderful marriage.  We’re going to have kids and live happily ever after.
• I just can’t find love.  Everybody I get involved with is a jerk.  What is wrong with me?
• I just don’t feel good.  I’m tired, feel sick all the time, and am not happy, what do I do?

These (and many more are situations in life) are often handled by taking the approach that our marine friend here could take.  And that is to just fire randomly and hope for the best.  In the end, the likely outcome is to be worse off than before and have made no real progress.

The disaster of guessing is realized usually after an unwanted conclusion of what is trying to be figured out.  This conclusion may be a business that has failed or is on the brink of failing.  It may be being overweight to the point of being uncomfortable.  It may be after being married for a long time realizing that you aren’t compatible with your spouse or that marriage is not for you.  Perhaps it is seeing countless failed relationships in your life and wondering what is wrong.  Or you may feel sick all the time and generally just not be happy.

Regardless of what it is, it must be realized that the majority of us have people in our lives that are close to us, are our friends, or are people that rely on us for things (such as a job or being provided food and shelter).  Be very careful about simply guessing and hoping things work out.  Take into careful consideration all the angles you are affecting with your decisions.  By doing this, you will avoid conflict and unpleasent circumstances.

The general point here is that the general way to go through life seems to be a pattern of just getting by and seeing what happens.  I believe the truly successful people don’t do very much guessing.  Sure there may be some trial and error.  But I believe that the great leaders and the people who are really successful in this world, those are the people who are taking a different approach.  They are realizing truths, getting educated, increasing in intelligence, and make decisions with sound evidence and support.  It is this which I would like to talk about now.

Our marine friend, with the sniper rifle in hand, can take a different approach to hitting his targets.  He can get into a comfortable firing position.  He can get his balance and focus his eye into his gun scope.  He can be very observant of his environment and any sign of moving targets or targets that are fake.  He can observe where other people are so as not to potentially injure them while shooting.  He can take many different precautions.

As he trains and takes all these precautions, his awareness will allow him to have a much better chance of hitting his targets.  Sure, he may not hit any of his targets still.  He may only hit a few.  But he has a better chance to hit at least some, if not all of them by taking the necessary steps to prepare and educate himself.  Making the decision after having control over himself and his environment will give him focus and increase the odds of success.

What We Can All Do

To reduce guessing, there are many things that can be done.  All guessing eliminators require work.  You cannot sit on your hands watching TV all day, or playing video games all day and expect that you are going to have success in your endeavors (unless you are a video game tester or some profession like that).  This is the hard part.  Even I struggle with it.  I mean, who wants to spend their free time reading, learning, and finding out what other people are doing?  Well, for true success and guess elimination, this is what is required.  The guessing eliminators are:

• Increasing education through study of online material, the best books, meaningful collaboration with others, and the observance of other people.
• Maintaining health through proper eating, exercise, rest, and the study of what is good for our bodies and what is not.
• Quiet and peaceful meditation in order to orient what our goals and dreams are.  Careful thought on adapting to situations.

These three things are very powerful.  Are they easy to do?  No they are not.  Like I said, I struggle with them just like I’m sure the majority of you struggle with them.  But I know what they are and I take time to do them.  There is no simple quick fix to guesing in our lives.  Each problem has a solution.  But that solution is a whole of things that must be done.  Drjerm exists to provide the whole puzzle that must be put together before challenges can really start being overcome.

By educationg yourself, maintaining good health, and constantly meditating and seeking to understand yourself, others, and your path in life, you will begin to see things otherwise hidden.  You will begin to see solutions to problems.  I am doing my blog and website here at Drjerm.  I face challenges with doing it.  I started off by guessing.  But I’ve realized that this isn’t going to work too well.  Now I have a different approach.  The material I create I realize is for people looking for answers in life.  Anything I create is something I believe is a direct answer to questions people are having.

Do I still have things to figure out.  Of course!  I am still working on the whole getting visitors to my website and increasing traffic thing.  I find many website owners struggling with this.  My website gets about 15 visitors a day right now.  I would love to increase this to 100 or 500 or more!  To do this, I am coming up with ideas such as business cards I can leave with people, word of mouth through my family and friends, and increasing the quality of material on my website and blog.

Does this mean I will succeed?  I believe it does and that eventually I will have a heavily trafficed website and blog.  But it may take a long while and much more education for myself.  I may not see success for some time.  But I believe I am on the right track.  I’ve learned being upfront and honest about yourself is important and I’ve done that.  Doing Google videos is important and I am doing that.  I figured out how to sign up for Google Adsense and I am doing that.  I signed up as an Amazon affiliate and I have relevant products on my site now.  Slowly over time as I discover more resources, I will have more that I can do, and eventually, I will hit that ’sweet spot’ where things just start rolling.

The main thing is if you do not know something, find out what other people have to say about it.  Draw your own conclusions about whether you think what was said is worthwhile.  Make decisions based on evidence where possible.  I know that with effort and faith, that you can avoid guessing and start making powerful decisions!

( This article is written by Dr. J., my father )

It’s six o’clock in the morning as John’s alarm sounds. John had promised himself and his doctor that he would walk for at least thirty minutes each morning, but the bed is feeling too comfortable this morning, so John turns off the alarm and goes back to sleep.
 

This story and many others like it that we all can relate to are examples of inaction, or its twin sister procrastination, that often thwart the plans, hopes, and destiny of individuals.

As Nathaniel Howe once said, “The way to be nothing is to do nothing.” Of course, we are always doing something. We go here and there, and we do this and that. The question we should keep in mind is this, are our actions moving us closer to our goals and our ultimate destiny?

Why is getting important things done so difficult? Perhaps it is because of all the distractions the world has to offer such as entertainment, sports and recreation, toys, shopping, and the like. Maybe it is because we don’t know what to do first or simply what to do at all. Or maybe it is that we are not motivated enough to get moving now, or are simply just plain lazy.

It is true that the world is full of pleasurable interesting things to do. For many the goal of “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die” is life’s only goal. For those with true life-improvement goals, however, the distractions of the world can also be quite powerful. It is so easy to get caught up in the thick of thin things. Recognizing and controlling such distractions and roadblocks is a critical step in achieving our worthy goals. Finding successful strategies that limit, lock, or leave/eliminate these distractions is something that the serious reader is encouraged to go and do.

Setting a goal is a good start at improving one’s life or the world around us. Not knowing what to do to accomplish the goal means that we did not take the time to develop an achievement plan for the goal. Books, magazines, and the Internet contain much discussion about how to set goals and develop action plans. For example, type “SMART Goals” into your favorite search engine. If you are having difficulty deciding what to do to achieve your goal, then a diligent study of these available resources is something to go and do.

Motivation is perhaps the key ingredient in achieving our goals, yet one that is not well understood. Motivation is a psychological concept with no single universally accepted definition which concerns the determinants of intent, effort and tenacity, and the factors that push or pull us as individuals to behave in a particular manner. It involves the complex interaction of our knowledge, thoughts, beliefs and desires, senses, feelings, and sub-conscious programs.

When our goals involve things that we love and are excited to do, motivation is generally not a problem. However most goals are not like that. In fact they can be just the opposite. For example, a person who loves to eat will have a hard time getting motivated to lose weight. For such goals additional motivation must be obtained. For this we must take actions that influence or change the internal items listed above.

Once again the literature is abundant with ideas of things we can do to help increase our motivation. To-do lists, rewards, deadlines, reporting to others, self-talk, and imagining are but a few examples. The great secret, however, to motivation is the same as the great secret to happiness or the great secret to success. It is simply this – service to others. Abraham Lincoln said this, “When I do good, I feel good, when I don’t do good, I don’t feel good.”

Good feelings are positive motivators for other actions that help achieve our goals. In the Bible (Luke 10:25-36) we read about the parable of the Good Samaritan, a response by Jesus to the question – who is my neighbor? Several supposedly good people passed by the robbed and beaten traveler until a Samaritan stopped to help and care for him. “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? And he said, He that showed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

Do you look at the success of others and in frustration and jealousy wish you had what they did?  Do you wonder if you could ever succeed like they do?  Could you ever become like ‘The Rock’, Brad Pitt, Dr. Phil, Lebron James, or any other famous person?  There is a little known secret about the success of others.  Most of them have tried and failed, and a lot of them failed many times before they found true success.  Watch this video for a glimpse into this:

So you see, successful people are the same as the rest of us, except for one difference.  What sets them apart is that they tried.  And after they tried, they tried some more.  And they kept on trying.  They did not give up.  What is your idea of success?  Is it making millions of dollars?  Is it gaining a higher position at your job?  Is it bettering relationships?  Is it making a website that is the ‘next big thing’?  Whatever the success is you seek, be prepared to spend time failing before you reach it.

What is Stopping You?

For some, they get a spark of a great idea.  They may want to make a website.  They go out and buy a domain name and work on it for a few hours in excitement.  After a few hours, they realize that there is no money coming in from the website and they give up.  Or the dreams of gaining a promotion occur and in a brief spurt of excitement, the person does a little bit more.  But after a few days gives up because it appears that nothing has happened.

Please, read very carefully.  If you are interested in achieving your dreams or the things you want the most, or if you are just looking to advance yourself in your career, or attain anything in life, then what I have to say is of utmost importance to you.  The following are key points that keep us from our dreams.  Learn to overcome them and you will have nothing to stop you.

Discouragement From Failure/Lack of Results

If you get nothing else from what I write here, please look at this.  This is, “well I tried it for a few days or weeks, nothing happened, so I’m done”.  Or it is the fear of failure and the hopelesness that you can’t do it.  The hardest part is not finding out what you are passionate about.  That part is easy.  You just look at what you like and are good at and put the two together.  The hard part is maintaining a persistent and dedicated effort.

As I write now, I realize that I could spend time over the next year working on my website, drjerm.com, and my blog here.  And it may become a barely trafficed website that nobody uses and some might consider the hundreds of hours put in a waste of time.  This is an obstacle to overcome.  Time spent pursuing your dreams and passion IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME!  I face the same attacks of discouragement as the rest of you.  I don’t know that you can get away from discouragement completely.  The good news is that you can cut it down and not let it affect you.

Bad Habits Preventing Productive Time

This is just a guess, but I believe a very accurate guess, and that is most people wake up, eat something, rush to school/work, stare at the clock all day, five o’clock (or whenever work/school ends) comes close and getting fidgety sets in.  At the stroke of five (or the end of school/work), they bolt home, get home, and plop in front of the TV.  Watching their favorite shows and recordings after all is comfort from the terrible workday.  Or they may go out to eat frequently, going to Wendy’s, McDonalds, or other restaurants because it’s too hard to cook or do dishes.  Perhaps an addiction to video games can also be thrown into the mix.

And so this cycle goes on for a while and becomes quite engrained in the individual.  After a while, hope of doing anything but this fades away.  How can you possibly achieve your dreams when you spend all your time in the pursuit of things that are ultimately going to leave you empty and likely depressed.  The good news is that you can overcome the habitual living of everyday life, no matter how deep into bad habits you have gotten into.

Low Self Esteem and Motivation

I used to beat myself up all the time when I was younger.  I was scared to try new things.  The thought of making videos and posting them online would not have even crossed my mind.  I would have been too worried about what people would think or that nobody would like them.  I’ve been told plenty of times that I am dumb and look goofy.  I’ve experienced all the insults and frustrations that one can go through.

The battle of low self esteem is a very real danger.  You may see other people fighting this battle.  They may not like the way they look, talk, or feel.  This is an obstacle for you to overcome.  My website, drjerm.com, offers resources to help you paint a better picture of yourself.

I Don’t Know Where to Start, I am Ignorant

You are not ignorant, but not knowing where to start is a common scenario.  There is always uncertainty when entering the realm of something you have not done.  So how do you start?  Well, realize you have countless resources around you, so start asking questions.  Go to Google and start searching your butt off on what you are trying to do.  Go to Amazon.com and look at books and DvD’s that might help.  Talk to those you are in contact with.  Think carefully with your brain and focus.  The main thing is you can get proactive and figure things out.  We are all intelligent.  Knowledge is gained through proactive choices.

I had a talk with a young gal recently and asked her what her dreams and aspirations were.  She wasn’t sure.  But I know this gal pretty well and I said to her, “You like R&B music and entertainers.  What’s stopping you from pursuing that, maybe becoming an agent or promoter of them?”.  Her reply somewhat saddened me, “I don’t know what to do or even where to begin!”.

Look, you have countless resources available to you.  In this day and age, information is readily available.  You have your own brain to thoroughly think with.  In the case of this young gal, she can go out and search, find people to network within the R&B industry, and start making a name for herself with a website.  She can see how the industry works by just looking at who is doing it right now via the Internet.  Get a collection of all the rappers and R&B singers.  Become an expert with all of them - she is already probably.  Be creative and make something happen.

I know it’s a little daunting to go through uncharted territory.  But use your senses and you will find that if you take time to think and make an honest effort, that ideas will come to you.

So What, Nothing is Happening, What do I Need to Do?

I created drjerm.com to help people gain the foundation in their life that would lead them to begin discovering their destiny so that a legacy can be created.  Please use this resource first.  Paint a new picture of yourself.  Once you do this, you can start looking at the final step of creating your legacy and pursuing your dreams and passions.  Follow these simple steps:

1. Find what it is you are passionate about and grab hold of it and don’t let go
2. Begin becoming an expert in your passion using all resources available to you
3. Be persistent, giving a consistent effort over a long period of time
4. Give effort for as long as it takes, months/years, decades if needed - do not expect quick results
5. If in the end, if you realize that success is not going to happen, smile - you’re in the lower 1% that truly gave an honest effort in pursuing their dream.  You will have learned much :)

The main thing is not giving up because after a few days/weeks/months, nothing seems to be happening.  Maybe you appear to be failing at what it is you are doing.  Do not give up.  Fight through it all.  Do not go in front of the TV, but really take the time each day to work on your dreams and passion.  Over the course of quite some time, you will likely see positive results.

Why Should I Care or Even Listen to You?

I HOPE that you are asking this question.  At the time of writing this, I know I am just one man.  I am a website developer by day looking to make a difference.  I’m not making millions of dollars.  I make a salary that supports my family.  I make next to nothing right now with my website and blog - I actually pay more than I earn.  In that sense, I am an average guy.  But I know that I am more than that.  Each day I strive to improve and leave my legacy to the world.  I wish to be remembered as someone who gave honest advice and helped thousands of people discover their destiny and leave their legacy in the world.  I want to inspire people!  I want people to know that I tried and was successful at many things.

Look through my site and this blog.  If you don’t get any use out of it, then by all means, you should not care or listen to me.  But if you have even an ounce of stirring or thought provoking as you look through ALL of my pages and information, I encourage you to put it to the test.  Try what I am saying.  See if you don’t see a difference.  I am a big fan of looking at results, or seeing what fruit is produced by a seed.

With a little effort and faith, you can make the change to have things start happening in your life.  Best of luck to you!

Start by Watching My Video on Gaining an Iron Will

Looking to be calm in all situations and not swayed by emotion with an iron will is a powerful thing to achieve.

Realizing the Need for an Iron Will

First off, realizing that you need to do this is a BIG step. Many people are in denial about themselves and if you are being honest with yourself and opening up about needing to strengthen your will, you are one step further to gaining an iron will.

We all Have Emotions

Second, realize that we are all human and have emotions. These emotions are our gauge in situations to let us know what is going on. If someone is being a jerk, our emotions will be stirred to recognize it. If someone compliments us, we become warm and fuzzy inside. We cannot escape our emotions.  Realize that you are going to have a response to what people say, both good and bad, but that your state of happiness should not hinge on either!

Accept Other People’s Decisions

Gaining emotional stability is possible. You can get to a point where you recognize everyone’s intentions you talk to and remain calm. Part of this is realizing that people are going to make their own decisions. Accepting those decisions, even when we don’t agree with them, is a big step.  Even if you get bottled up in side and feel you have to say something to people who you think are doing harm or making a bad decision, you can stop yourself and accept it.

For me, it took constant reminding that I accept people for who they are and I wish everyone well who I come in contact with. The main thing is a constant reminder that I accept the things I cannot change.  In some cases, someone is going to do something so severe and harmful that intervention needs to happen, but this is only in cases where severe physical/emotional harm is a certainty.

Seek to Understand Before Being Understood

Another thing is to always seek to understand first before seeking to be understood. Listen to people even if you think what they are saying is absolutely ridiculous. And even if you know they are being ridiculous, choose to smile and say, ‘best of luck with that’.  The fact is, that even when someone is spouting nonsense, if you take the time to listen and understand, you will actually realize from that persons point of view, they are making sense.

Regardless of your emotional state, you have a choice to not snap back at people and to smile and treat people kindly. This skill becomes easier and you will find yourself not in as many situations where conflict with others is occuring.

Avoid Backbiting and Drama

Avoid backbiting and entertaining thoughts about those who seek to stir chaos and conflict. This is not worth your time. Recognize people for who they are, but then focus your mind on worthwhile and uplifting thoughts. This is how you can help people and yourself.  Imagine if you spent all your time trying to combat other people and instead used that time to better yourself and accomplish your goals and dreams!

With a little faith and making consistent choices to accept the things you cannot change, you will become resilient to the chaos around you and find yourself able to cope with any situation.

Start by Watching My Video on Focus and Concentration

Having trouble concentrating is a common issue.  You may be in high school and just get bored in class and want to go to sleep.  Or you work at a job where you just can’t keep your mind on work.  Luckily, following a few simple steps will help you gain the concentration and focus needed to accomplish the tasks you set out to do.

Decide What you Want to Do

Having trouble concentrating often comes from not having a clear picture of what needs to be done.  If there are details lacking in what you need to concentrate and focus on, then there is going to be room for mind wandering and error.

To really concentrate on a task, you have to first get a clear picture of what you are trying to accomplish.  This means taking time to think and design out what needs to be done.  It means step by step, coming up with a plan to accomplish the task at hand.  Your concentration will greatly increase if you have a detailed plan with instructions put together for what it is you are trying to do.

Let me give you an example:  I’m having trouble concentrating when I write in my journal.  My mind wanders and it’s hard to focus and write anything down.  To solve this, I come up with a plan to write in my journal.  I decide that 9 pm every Sunday night is when I will write in it.  I also decide that I will write at my office desk.  I will write alone.  I will write about how my day went, things I learned, interesting events, and my family.

There is power in this kind of detail.  With details filled in, your concentration is much easier to achieve.  You have a detailed plan with no guessing.  You know what you are going to do.  You get yourself into the situation with a plan and your concentration and focus is much easier to achieve.

Be Proactive and Stop at Nothing

Being proactive is quite the useful skill when you are having trouble concentrating.  Usually if you are having trouble concentrating, your mind is not producing details and specifications it needs to complete a task.  If you are a writer, this is sometimes called “Writer’s Block”.  You can be proactive though in increaseing your ability to perform the task you need to do through knowledge gaining.

Proactively learn more about what task you are seeking to do.  If you are planting a garden, look for some good books, talk to friends/family/neighbors, or look online for information.  Do whatever it takes to increase your knowledge.  Armed with knowledge, you have a much greater pool to draw from in order to design and plan your task.  With this knowledge, you will find moments of drawing blanks and losing focus less frequent.

Eliminate Distractions

Many distractions can disrupt your concentration.  These include TV, children, radio, surfing the net, not feeling good/healthy, eating, and mind wandering.  There is nothing wrong with these distractions in general, but for the purpose of losing concentration, these distractions must not be interfering with making progress on your plan.

You eliminate distractions by communicating with those around you that you need time to concentrate and focus on what you would like to do.  You share why you are doing it.  You ask for patience and understanding.  For me, I also downgraded our television plan to only the very basic cable.  I seek quiet areas where I can research and make progress on my tasks.

Enjoy What you are Doing

If I were asked to create a website for someone that wants to sell jewelry, it would be much harder to concentrate and get the task done than if I were making a website for computer games.  Sometimes concentration on things other than what you are interested in is a necessary evil.  It’s what you do for work during the day.  In cases where you have a choice though, don’t beat your head against the wall doing something you don’t enjoy if there is not a good reason.

If you like cats, you will not have a hard time creating a portfolio of cute kitty pictures, or writing about your favorite cat, or talking about cats, or making cat toys, blankets or anything cats.  Look to this and do your best to have your concentration focused in areas you are passionate about.

Keep Yourself Healthy

Having trouble concentrating can come from being tired, sick, frustrated, heart broken, angry, or any number of physical and mental ailments.  Look to increase your health through healthy eating and exercise.  This means not eating that bag of chips.  Pick up a banana or carrot instead.  Sure it doesn’t taste quite as good, but it’s not THAT bad.  Drink water and get at least eight hours sleep at night.  This is fairly common knowledge.  Make the choice to apply the knowledge.

Being in good health helps me maintain my concentration and efforts on this website.  I eat reasonably well and I exercise two to three times a week lifting weights and running.  This helps me keep up with my family and find the energy to do the other things I am wanting to do.

I know that with good decision making, gaining knowledge, staying healthy, and doing what we are passionate about, that we will increase our focus.  With a little faith, you can start having more concentration and focus and start seeing greater results in your life!