Do you look at the success of others and in frustration and jealousy wish you had what they did?  Do you wonder if you could ever succeed like they do?  Could you ever become like ‘The Rock’, Brad Pitt, Dr. Phil, Lebron James, or any other famous person?  There is a little known secret about the success of others.  Most of them have tried and failed, and a lot of them failed many times before they found true success.  Watch this video for a glimpse into this:

 

 

So you see, successful people are the same as the rest of us, except for one difference.  What sets them apart is that they tried.  And after they tried, they tried some more.  And they kept on trying.  They did not give up.  What is your idea of success?  Is it making millions of dollars?  Is it gaining a higher position at your job?  Is it bettering relationships?  Is it making a website that is the ‘next big thing’?  Whatever the success is you seek, be prepared to spend time failing before you reach it.

 

What is Stopping You?

 

For some, they get a spark of a great idea.  They may want to make a website.  They go out and buy a domain name and work on it for a few hours in excitement.  After a few hours, they realize that there is no money coming in from the website and they give up.  Or the dreams of gaining a promotion occur and in a brief spurt of excitement, the person does a little bit more.  But after a few days gives up because it appears that nothing has happened.

 

Please, read very carefully.  If you are interested in achieving your dreams or the things you want the most, or if you are just looking to advance yourself in your career, or attain anything in life, then what I have to say is of utmost importance to you.  The following are key points that keep us from our dreams.  Learn to overcome them and you will have nothing to stop you.

 

Discouragement From Failure/Lack of Results

 

If you get nothing else from what I write here, please look at this.  This is, “well I tried it for a few days or weeks, nothing happened, so I’m done”.  Or it is the fear of failure and the hopelesness that you can’t do it.  The hardest part is not finding out what you are passionate about.  That part is easy.  You just look at what you like and are good at and put the two together.  The hard part is maintaining a persistent and dedicated effort.

 

As I write now, I realize that I could spend time over the next year working on my website, drjerm.com, and my blog here.  And it may become a barely trafficed website that nobody uses and some might consider the hundreds of hours put in a waste of time.  This is an obstacle to overcome.  Time spent pursuing your dreams and passion IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME!  I face the same attacks of discouragement as the rest of you.  I don’t know that you can get away from discouragement completely.  The good news is that you can cut it down and not let it affect you.

 

Bad Habits Preventing Productive Time

 

This is just a guess, but I believe a very accurate guess, and that is most people wake up, eat something, rush to school/work, stare at the clock all day, five o’clock (or whenever work/school ends) comes close and getting fidgety sets in.  At the stroke of five (or the end of school/work), they bolt home, get home, and plop in front of the TV.  Watching their favorite shows and recordings after all is comfort from the terrible workday.  Or they may go out to eat frequently, going to Wendy’s, McDonalds, or other restaurants because it’s too hard to cook or do dishes.  Perhaps an addiction to video games can also be thrown into the mix.

 

And so this cycle goes on for a while and becomes quite engrained in the individual.  After a while, hope of doing anything but this fades away.  How can you possibly achieve your dreams when you spend all your time in the pursuit of things that are ultimately going to leave you empty and likely depressed.  The good news is that you can overcome the habitual living of everyday life, no matter how deep into bad habits you have gotten into.

 

Low Self Esteem and Motivation

 

I used to beat myself up all the time when I was younger.  I was scared to try new things.  The thought of making videos and posting them online would not have even crossed my mind.  I would have been too worried about what people would think or that nobody would like them.  I’ve been told plenty of times that I am dumb and look goofy.  I’ve experienced all the insults and frustrations that one can go through.

 

The battle of low self esteem is a very real danger.  You may see other people fighting this battle.  They may not like the way they look, talk, or feel.  This is an obstacle for you to overcome.  My website, drjerm.com, offers resources to help you paint a better picture of yourself.

 

I Don’t Know Where to Start, I am Ignorant

 

You are not ignorant, but not knowing where to start is a common scenario.  There is always uncertainty when entering the realm of something you have not done.  So how do you start?  Well, realize you have countless resources around you, so start asking questions.  Go to Google and start searching your butt off on what you are trying to do.  Go to Amazon.com and look at books and DvD’s that might help.  Talk to those you are in contact with.  Think carefully with your brain and focus.  The main thing is you can get proactive and figure things out.  We are all intelligent.  Knowledge is gained through proactive choices.

 

I had a talk with a young gal recently and asked her what her dreams and aspirations were.  She wasn’t sure.  But I know this gal pretty well and I said to her, “You like R&B music and entertainers.  What’s stopping you from pursuing that, maybe becoming an agent or promoter of them?”.  Her reply somewhat saddened me, “I don’t know what to do or even where to begin!”.

 

Look, you have countless resources available to you.  In this day and age, information is readily available.  You have your own brain to thoroughly think with.  In the case of this young gal, she can go out and search, find people to network within the R&B industry, and start making a name for herself with a website.  She can see how the industry works by just looking at who is doing it right now via the Internet.  Get a collection of all the rappers and R&B singers.  Become an expert with all of them – she is already probably.  Be creative and make something happen.

 

I know it’s a little daunting to go through uncharted territory.  But use your senses and you will find that if you take time to think and make an honest effort, that ideas will come to you.

 

So What, Nothing is Happening, What do I Need to Do?

 

I created drjerm.com to help people gain the foundation in their life that would lead them to begin discovering their destiny so that a legacy can be created.  Please use this resource first.  Paint a new picture of yourself.  Once you do this, you can start looking at the final step of creating your legacy and pursuing your dreams and passions.  Follow these simple steps:

 

1. Find what it is you are passionate about and grab hold of it and don’t let go
2. Begin becoming an expert in your passion using all resources available to you
3. Be persistent, giving a consistent effort over a long period of time
4. Give effort for as long as it takes, months/years, decades if needed – do not expect quick results
5. If in the end, if you realize that success is not going to happen, smile – you’re in the lower 1% that truly gave an honest effort in pursuing their dream.  You will have learned much :)

 

The main thing is not giving up because after a few days/weeks/months, nothing seems to be happening.  Maybe you appear to be failing at what it is you are doing.  Do not give up.  Fight through it all.  Do not go in front of the TV, but really take the time each day to work on your dreams and passion.  Over the course of quite some time, you will likely see positive results.

 

Why Should I Care or Even Listen to You?

 

I HOPE that you are asking this question.  At the time of writing this, I know I am just one man.  I am a website developer by day looking to make a difference.  I’m not making millions of dollars.  I make a salary that supports my family.  I make next to nothing right now with my website and blog – I actually pay more than I earn.  In that sense, I am an average guy.  But I know that I am more than that.  Each day I strive to improve and leave my legacy to the world.  I wish to be remembered as someone who gave honest advice and helped thousands of people discover their destiny and leave their legacy in the world.  I want to inspire people!  I want people to know that I tried and was successful at many things.

 

Look through my site and this blog.  If you don’t get any use out of it, then by all means, you should not care or listen to me.  But if you have even an ounce of stirring or thought provoking as you look through ALL of my pages and information, I encourage you to put it to the test.  Try what I am saying.  See if you don’t see a difference.  I am a big fan of looking at results, or seeing what fruit is produced by a seed.

 

With a little effort and faith, you can make the change to have things start happening in your life.  Best of luck to you!

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Start by Watching My Video on Gaining an Iron Will

 

Looking to be calm in all situations and not swayed by emotion with an iron will is a powerful thing to achieve.

 

Realizing the Need for an Iron Will

 

First off, realizing that you need to do this is a BIG step. Many people are in denial about themselves and if you are being honest with yourself and opening up about needing to strengthen your will, you are one step further to gaining an iron will.

 

We all Have Emotions

 

Second, realize that we are all human and have emotions. These emotions are our gauge in situations to let us know what is going on. If someone is being a jerk, our emotions will be stirred to recognize it. If someone compliments us, we become warm and fuzzy inside. We cannot escape our emotions.  Realize that you are going to have a response to what people say, both good and bad, but that your state of happiness should not hinge on either!

 

Accept Other People’s Decisions

 

Gaining emotional stability is possible. You can get to a point where you recognize everyone’s intentions you talk to and remain calm. Part of this is realizing that people are going to make their own decisions. Accepting those decisions, even when we don’t agree with them, is a big step.  Even if you get bottled up in side and feel you have to say something to people who you think are doing harm or making a bad decision, you can stop yourself and accept it.

 

For me, it took constant reminding that I accept people for who they are and I wish everyone well who I come in contact with. The main thing is a constant reminder that I accept the things I cannot change.  In some cases, someone is going to do something so severe and harmful that intervention needs to happen, but this is only in cases where severe physical/emotional harm is a certainty.

 

Seek to Understand Before Being Understood

 

Another thing is to always seek to understand first before seeking to be understood. Listen to people even if you think what they are saying is absolutely ridiculous. And even if you know they are being ridiculous, choose to smile and say, ‘best of luck with that’.  The fact is, that even when someone is spouting nonsense, if you take the time to listen and understand, you will actually realize from that persons point of view, they are making sense.

 

Regardless of your emotional state, you have a choice to not snap back at people and to smile and treat people kindly. This skill becomes easier and you will find yourself not in as many situations where conflict with others is occuring.

 

Avoid Backbiting and Drama

 

Avoid backbiting and entertaining thoughts about those who seek to stir chaos and conflict. This is not worth your time. Recognize people for who they are, but then focus your mind on worthwhile and uplifting thoughts. This is how you can help people and yourself.  Imagine if you spent all your time trying to combat other people and instead used that time to better yourself and accomplish your goals and dreams!

 

With a little faith and making consistent choices to accept the things you cannot change, you will become resilient to the chaos around you and find yourself able to cope with any situation.

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Start by Watching My Video on Focus and Concentration

 

Having trouble concentrating is a common issue.  You may be in high school and just get bored in class and want to go to sleep.  Or you work at a job where you just can’t keep your mind on work.  Luckily, following a few simple steps will help you gain the concentration and focus needed to accomplish the tasks you set out to do.

 

Decide What you Want to Do

 

Having trouble concentrating often comes from not having a clear picture of what needs to be done.  If there are details lacking in what you need to concentrate and focus on, then there is going to be room for mind wandering and error.

 

To really concentrate on a task, you have to first get a clear picture of what you are trying to accomplish.  This means taking time to think and design out what needs to be done.  It means step by step, coming up with a plan to accomplish the task at hand.  Your concentration will greatly increase if you have a detailed plan with instructions put together for what it is you are trying to do.

 

Let me give you an example:  I’m having trouble concentrating when I write in my journal.  My mind wanders and it’s hard to focus and write anything down.  To solve this, I come up with a plan to write in my journal.  I decide that 9 pm every Sunday night is when I will write in it.  I also decide that I will write at my office desk.  I will write alone.  I will write about how my day went, things I learned, interesting events, and my family.

 

There is power in this kind of detail.  With details filled in, your concentration is much easier to achieve.  You have a detailed plan with no guessing.  You know what you are going to do.  You get yourself into the situation with a plan and your concentration and focus is much easier to achieve.

 

Be Proactive and Stop at Nothing

 

Being proactive is quite the useful skill when you are having trouble concentrating.  Usually if you are having trouble concentrating, your mind is not producing details and specifications it needs to complete a task.  If you are a writer, this is sometimes called “Writer’s Block”.  You can be proactive though in increaseing your ability to perform the task you need to do through knowledge gaining.

 

Proactively learn more about what task you are seeking to do.  If you are planting a garden, look for some good books, talk to friends/family/neighbors, or look online for information.  Do whatever it takes to increase your knowledge.  Armed with knowledge, you have a much greater pool to draw from in order to design and plan your task.  With this knowledge, you will find moments of drawing blanks and losing focus less frequent.

 

Eliminate Distractions

 

Many distractions can disrupt your concentration.  These include TV, children, radio, surfing the net, not feeling good/healthy, eating, and mind wandering.  There is nothing wrong with these distractions in general, but for the purpose of losing concentration, these distractions must not be interfering with making progress on your plan.

 

You eliminate distractions by communicating with those around you that you need time to concentrate and focus on what you would like to do.  You share why you are doing it.  You ask for patience and understanding.  For me, I also downgraded our television plan to only the very basic cable.  I seek quiet areas where I can research and make progress on my tasks.

 

Enjoy What you are Doing

 

If I were asked to create a website for someone that wants to sell jewelry, it would be much harder to concentrate and get the task done than if I were making a website for computer games.  Sometimes concentration on things other than what you are interested in is a necessary evil.  It’s what you do for work during the day.  In cases where you have a choice though, don’t beat your head against the wall doing something you don’t enjoy if there is not a good reason.

 

If you like cats, you will not have a hard time creating a portfolio of cute kitty pictures, or writing about your favorite cat, or talking about cats, or making cat toys, blankets or anything cats.  Look to this and do your best to have your concentration focused in areas you are passionate about.

 

Keep Yourself Healthy

 

Having trouble concentrating can come from being tired, sick, frustrated, heart broken, angry, or any number of physical and mental ailments.  Look to increase your health through healthy eating and exercise.  This means not eating that bag of chips.  Pick up a banana or carrot instead.  Sure it doesn’t taste quite as good, but it’s not THAT bad.  Drink water and get at least eight hours sleep at night.  This is fairly common knowledge.  Make the choice to apply the knowledge.

 

Being in good health helps me maintain my concentration and efforts on this website.  I eat reasonably well and I exercise two to three times a week lifting weights and running.  This helps me keep up with my family and find the energy to do the other things I am wanting to do.

 

I know that with good decision making, gaining knowledge, staying healthy, and doing what we are passionate about, that we will increase our focus.  With a little faith, you can start having more concentration and focus and start seeing greater results in your life!

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