I recently had an experience where I realized that I had unintentionally upset someone.  I’ve seen this type of situation happen with many people, including myself as I have my own imperfections and weaknesses, and now having it happen to me I would like to share some insight that will hopefully benefit any of you who are going through this.

 

Get the Facts

 

The first thing you should do is get the facts.  In my case, something was relayed that I supposedly said.  Whether or not I actually said what was relayed is unknown to me.  I just don’t remember.  But I do know that I would never say anything to intentionally frustrate or upset anyone as it is not in my nature.  And I believe this to be true for many of you reading as well, so be sure to relax and accept that sometimes people are just going to be upset.

 

In the case of what happened here, this person was told that I said he was doing a pyramid/ponzi scheme with his business.  Knowing me, I would not seriously say this unless I legitimately believe it, and I don’t believe it about this individual.  Perhaps I may have joked about it, or may have said it was structured like a pyramid.

 

Show Compassion

 

In my case, I apologized to the person who was upset saying that if I indeed said what he said I said, then I meant no harm and was sorry if any harm came from it.  That’s about as much as you can do.  After that, you’ve said your apologies and should move on.  In my case, I think the person will be upset for a little while, but that is their decision.  Still, at the same time, be compassionate and willing to say you are sorry, even if you don’t believe you did what you are being accused of.  It’s the sensible thing to do.

 

Move On

 

Lastly, life is too short and precious to hold grudges and get involved with drama-like events.  Even if you feel bad inside, and you’ve already apologized, move on.  It doesn’t do any good to worry about situations where you’ve upset someone, in most cases.  Continue to do your best each day.  Recognize your own imperfections and others as well, but focus on your strengths.  I know that you can better deal with other people if you follow this simple advice!

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Regret can consume you if you let it.  I know from experience.  I am sure that every person alive has many things in their past that they can dwell on and feel guilty or sorry about.  Perhaps you wish you would have done better in school, or even attended school.  Maybe your frustrated with a few bad relationships that never worked out.  Or maybe you look back on the years of your life and wonder what it is all for, and consider all the time wasted.  Let’s take a moment and read about the man who regretted everything.

 

There was a man, when born regretted leaving his mother’s womb and entering the world.  The womb was cosy, he wanted to go back.

 

When in pre-school, he regretted growing up and wanted to be a baby again, so he could be fed and cuddled all the time.

 

When in elementary school, wished he could go back to pre school.  There were half days and life was easy.  Now a full day of school was too much.

 

As high school rolled around, he wished he could go back to elementary school.  Life was simple then and girls were never an issue.  Homework was easier.

 

As the college years rolled by, he longed for high school.  He missed his friends and wanted to enjoy the easy life of living with his parents.

 

As his career began, and he began to age, he wished he could be in college again.  A few more parties would make him happy again.

 

Upon reaching middle age, the man longed for his younger years working.  He didn’t feel as much pain and had more energy.

 

The end of his life approaching, the man looked back at his life.  He wondered how his life was coming to an end so quickly.  He wished that he could start over again.

 

Live in the moment

 

Like this man, we too may often dwell on the past and long for things that once were.  Beware this fools gold.  Our lives are what we make of them.  Choose to enjoy what is happening this very moment and you will never want for the past.  You will look on the past with fond memories instead.  Live every moment to its fullest, and I can promise you that regret will be hard to come by.

 

Handling Regrets

 

I have many things in my past that I could regret.  Some are embarassing, others silly.  Let me share several of these with you, and I do so with a knowledge that some may make me appear foolish or silly.  I am fine with this as I have learned to live with my past.  I will explain how I accept each of these now and with that and a drum roll, here are some of the things I used to regret, but now which I have learned to live with.

 

• Growing up, I was very shy.  Because of this, there were girls I could have gotten to know and increase my socializing skills with.  Because of this, I have had to work hard learning how to handle social situations.

 

I acknowledge and accept that I was once a shy person with little confidence.  Perhaps it robbed me of some experiences that would have been useful, but it was who I was.  I accept that, and all the good and bad that it created.

 

• I played basketball in high school, but never feel I really achieved my potential.  I always felt like something was wrong with me.

 

There is nothing wrong with me.  I am a talented basketball player.  Perhaps my role on the team wasn’t the best it could have been, or other factors contributed.  I used to think of these things.  Now I accept the outcome of my high school basketball career and have since moved on, and enjoy whenever I can play.

 

• I’ve been a little too pushy and over-protective with people in my past, and even recent past.  Perhaps I will have the fortune that one of those people will read this blog entry.  They will know who they are.  I pried and kept tabs on certain people which I will keep anonymous.  I even had the nerve to park my car after one finished a late night date to make sure they got home on time.  My decision making with these people was not the best it could have been and I pushed them away because of it.

 

I no longer worry about how I was too over-protective and the way I was too pushy.  I realized that I just cared and handled it in the wrong way.  I have since changed to a stance where I believe people will blossom and grown and learn, while trying to provide help from afar in the best way I know how.  I know that I am not perfect, but I am able to look back and accept both the harm and good that resulted from my being over-protective, and am happy with my change since then.

 

• I helped start a business with someone, and eventually was hired as a full time employee for a company they created.  Things did not work out at all and the result was a big strain on my life.

 

Several of my past blog entries cover in detail this situation, and my frustration and anger at the time is very evident.  In the past, I had anger, frustration, and revenge on my mind.  I felt betrayed.  There are times where I’ve acted out of anger and frustration towards business partners, in a couple different situations, and though I am sorry for it, I now accept my actions for who I was back then. As time has gone on and a little wisdom prevailed, I no longer feel any regret for this.  They are learning situations.  Whatever the reasons for it not working out, I accept, and have since moved on to furthering drjerm, writing a book, and other exciting things.

 

I know with a little effort and faith, that you can destroy your regrets.  You will no longer have them as you accept them and take the learning experiences and add them to your growth in life.

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I had my first MRI (Magnetic resonance imaging) yesterday morning. It was an interesting and challenging experience, so much that I wanted to offer some helpful advice to others who are having it done.   As you can see from the picture, which is called a closed MRI, the person is placed in a machine, where their head, neck, or spinal area is going to get scanned. The machine surrounds most of your body, except your legs.  In my MRI, I was actually moved a little further in the machine, such that only part of my legs were out of the machine.

 

Why an MRI

 

I’ve had some problem with vertigo, headaches, and dizziness in the last few months. In the past few weeks this has lessened, but since no cause has been able to be found from doctor’s, it was suggested that I get an MRI scan of my brain (the tests are already done and thankfully nothing was shown to be wrong). The MRI is for anyone needing a more detailed scan of the body and neurological systems.

 

What Happens During an MRI?

 

There are two different kinds of MRI’s that I know of: closed and open.  It seems that closed MRI’s are more common.  In this kind of MRI, you are placed on a platform that slides you inside a ‘tube’.  Your body is covered and the quarters are very tight.  An open MRI looks like this:

As you can see, the space is more open, and if I had to do it again, I’d want an ‘Open MRI’.

 

But I want to talk about my closed MRI and what happened to me, so that you may be guided as you prepare and experience your MRI.  I got to the doctor’s office, signed in, got paged by the doctor, went to a dressing room (I was able to keep my clothes that I had, warm up pants and a regular shirt), and finally to the MRI room.  There is a platform and a large machine.  I didn’t think too much of it until the doctor told me to lay down on the platform.  I was given ear plugs and he said some things to me about it, and to breathe and try to remain calm.

 

Eventually, my ear plugs were in and in went the platform.  Once all the way in, this is where the shock set in.  I opened my eyes and I literally wasn’t able to move much at all.  I could move my arms slightly, and there was probably six inches from my body to the ceiling of the tube I was in.  My head had a device placed over it to help with keeping it still, so my head was pretty much stuck where it was.  My heart beat fast, and my breathing increased heavily.  I had to meditate and do it fast.  Being in such tight quarters really triggered a panic response from me.  But I believe this was from not knowing what to expect going in.

 

I was able to calm myself down through intense conecntration and recalling memories of happiness and focusing on my determination and willpower.  But it was not an easy experience by any means.

 

What You can Do

 

I believe if you follow this list of advice, that even a closed MRI experience can be tolerable, and you should do them if you are having anxious feelings, or even if you aren’t anxious, but just looking for adivce:

 

• Relax and forget about any problems you are having.
• Have a close friend come with you to pat you on the leg while the MRI is going on.
• Keep your eyes closed when you can.  I actually had to open my eyes for about a minute as I got a little dizzy during part of the scanning, and was more dizzy with my eyes closed.
• Even with ear plugs, be prepared for loud noise inside the machine.  Expect it and embrace it.
• Take a sedative (relaxation medicine).  You can ask the doctor about this.  Anything to help you relax will be helpful.
• Ask the doctor or your close friend to talk to you while the MRI is going on.  Have them speak words of encouragement, or just carry on a conversation.  With ear plugs in, they will need to speak a little louder than normal.
• Make sure you have gone to the bathroom.
• While in the machine, keep still and relaxed.  Close your eyes and picture yourself in a happy place.  This may be on the beach, on the basketball court, or playing with your children.
• Above all, keep positive thoughts in your head.  Breathe deeply and dispel any fear that tries to enter you.  It is possible to sit still and relax, even in a  tight quartered tube.
• When the MRI is done, pat yourself on the back.  You just conquered a challenge and you should reward yourself with a cool drink, lunch with a friend, or a nap!

 

I hope that some of this advice will help those who are having an MRI, or looking to relate to someone who just had a difficult MRI.  When my MRI was done, after 25 minutes, I was very happy about getting out.  I realized my preparation was not very good for the experience, and if I ever have to do it again, I am now armed with much more knowledge, which will better the experience!

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Our country is relatively new in the grand scheme of things. Part of how our country is run is in part to the ‘President of the United States’. Since 1789, the United States has had a president. This is just over 200 years of having a president – a very small time when the entire existence of the world is taken into perspective. Below is a list of the presidents, from the very first, George Washington, up until now, where the president is Barack H. Obama. I will state the significance and reason for my mentioning of the presidents of the United States after the list of them.
 

01	Washington, George (1789-1797)
02	Adams, John (1797-1801)
03	Jefferson, Thomas (1801-1809)
04	Madison, James (1809-1817)
05	Monroe, James (1817-1825)
06	Adams, John Quincy (1825-1829)
07	Jackson, Andrew (1829-1837)
08	Van Buren, Martin 1837-1841)
09	Harrison, William Henry (1841)
10	Tyler, John (1841-1845)
11	Polk, James Knox (1845-1849)
12	Taylor, Zachary (1849-1850)
13	Fillmore, Millard (1850-1853)
14	Pierce, Franklin (1853-1857)
15	Buchanan, James (1857-1861)
16	Lincoln, Abraham (1861-1865)
17	Johnson, Andrew (1865-1869)
18	Grant, Ulysses S. (1869-1877)
19	Hayes, Rutherford Birchard (1877-1881)
20	Garfield, James Abram (1881)
21	Arthur, Chester Alan (1881-1885)
22	Cleveland, Grover (1885-1889)
23	Harrison, Benjamin (1889-1893)
24	Cleveland, Grover (1893-1897)
25	McKinley, William (1897-1901)
26	Roosevelt, Theodore (1901-1909)
27	Taft, William Howard (1909-1913)
28	Wilson, Woodrow	(1913-1921)
29	Harding, Warren Gamaliel (1921-1923)
30	Coolidge, Calvin (1923-1929)
31	Hoover, Herbert Clark (1929-1933)
32	Roosevelt, Franklin Delano (1933-1945)
33	Truman, Harry (1945-1953)
34	Eisenhower, Dwight David (1953-1961)
35	Kennedy, John Fitzgerald (1961-1963)
36	Johnson, Lyndon Baines (1963-1969)
37	Nixon, Richard Milhous (1969-1974)
38	Ford, Gerald Rudolph (1974-1977)
39	Carter, James Earl Jr. (1977-1981
40	Reagan, Ronald Wilson (1981-1989)
41	Bush, George Herbert Walker (1989-1993)
42	Clinton, William Jefferson (1993-2001)
43	Bush, George Walker (2001-2009)
44	Obama, Barack Hussein (2009-present)

That’s a nice list, so what?

 

The presidents of the United States have come in different varieties.  Some are less ‘reputable’ than others, but they share some common characteristics.  These are the characteristics of intelligence, resolve, and fortitude.  As today is ‘Presidents Day’, I think it is worth looking at the list of presidents this country has had and thinking about their good qualities.

 

Intelligence

 

One does not simply become the President of the United States through dumb luck and a lack of intelligence.  It takes great brain power and even some luck.  Each president must have a wide array of knowledge in all areas of life, not to mention knowledge about politics and the way in which the country operates.

 

So to is intelligence a driving factor of progress with us.  Our intelligence plays a key role in where we make it to in life.  If we stop gaining intelligence, one can bet that the person who has stopped gaining intelligence will stay in the same place they are and be in that same place many years down the road.

 

Resolve

 

The president must have immense resolve.  I look at the term which George W. Bush just served, for eight years.  He has been slammed by the public, television shows, and anything else you can imagine.  Yet his resolve has remained firm.  He has not let himself get frazzled by the ramblings of other people.  Say what you want about him, he stayed on the course of resolve through harsh criticizm.

 

Our own individual resolve must be like that of a president.  Hard times may come, and challenges may surface.  It may be a common reaction to simply complain, or vent the frustration to those around.  This does nothing but spread negativity.  Don’t worry about what other people think.  Look inwards at yourself, and progress on the path which will make your life meaningful.

 

Fortitude

 

Fortitude is the health and stamina which one has.  While some of the presidents have not been in the greatest physical condition, their mental fortitude is likely unmatched.  Just think about how much weight is on every decision the president makes.  Think of the scrutiny and bickernig that is going to happen with every decision.  The president must have the fortitude to withstand this and move forward.

 

In our lives, fortitude is something to seek after.  Not only is staying in great physical condition necessary for maintaining an active and happy life, our emotional condition is equally important.  When challenges arise, or fatigue sets in, it is important to stay on the path of diligence and perseverance.  How often do we get tired, or not feel like working on the things which we know will separate us from mediocrity.  Don’t fall into this trap.  Remain diligent and consistent.

 

Final Thoughts

 

Take a moment and examine the list of presidents of the United States from Wikipedia.org.  I have taken a greater interest in the history of our country since this last election.  If nothing else, I wish to know about the people running our country.  I know I could probably name about six presidents of the United States.  I hope to memorize this list and use it as another tool to help me further create my legacy in the world today.

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The olympics have recently finished and I’ve been following the United States men’s basketball team for the last few years. The team won the gold medal in the Olympics this year (2008) by beating Spain.  The team has done pretty well with a couple challenges in the past. Being a basketball fan, there is much interest for me in this team – they are a team of all NBA basketball players. I would like to share some things about this team that I believe are of note and may possibly be of benefit to those reading.

 

A Little History

 

Back in 1992, the Olympics began to allow NBA players to play.  This led to the U.S. easily capturing the gold medal that year.  In 1996 the same thing happened.  In 2000, the U.S. did pretty well, but had some close calls.  They only beat Lithuania by 2 points, but won the gold medal again beating France.  In 2002, the U.S. began losing basketball games in international competition.  In 2004, the U.S. won the bronze medal in the Olympics after losing to Argentina in the semi-finals (final four teams).  The U.S. team faced much scrutiny with losing in international competition and some would say that the loosely throwing a team together of ‘NBA stars’ was no longer working.

 

2006 – 2008

 

One thing I really like is that the coach of Duke University, Mike Krzyzewski, was put in place to lead the U.S. team.  If you do not know who this man is, please read about him here.  He is an amazing man and a terrific basketball coach.  Not only that, a team was put together with some NBA stars, and other players who filled specific roles like shooting specialists.  I believe in 2006, that a team chemistry began that started to propel the U.S. forward.  Even though the U.S. lost to Greece in the 2006 world championships (their only loss), I could tell that things were turning around.

 

Hard Work, Dedication, and Lessons Learned

 

You can find a series of videos entitled, ‘Road to Redemption’ about the U.S. basketball team here.  I recommend watching all of them, they are very interesting.  The things that stand out to me are the immense amount of time that the team is spending preparing for the Olympics.  And the Oympics were just a month long or so.  The players on the team all make millions of dollars and have more money than most of us could ever dream of.  It would be very easy for them to not want to participate in the Olympics.  Just by watching the videos, you can see the tremendous effort that the team, coaches, and other managers are putting in.  How many of us, if we had millions of dollars, would still be working this hard?

 

I believe the U.S. learned some valuable lessons from losing in international competition for basketball.  They realized that being complacent and not giving maximum effort will not yield the best results.  They are realizing that hard work and dedication pays off.  These are lessons that we can all learn from.  Are you frustrated that things are not happening in your life?  Start by getting dedicated and putting in hard work.  See if things don’t start turning around eventually.

 

This journey of the U.S. basketball team has influenced my life.  I truly am amazed by their hard work and dedication, and it is an example to me for what I should be doing in my life.  Though I may never meet any of the players on the U.S. team, they have inspired me and are an example that helps me in my life.

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Life is full of different events, moods, and circumstances. Sometimes we’re happy, other times sad. We may even get depressed here and there. I believe that each of us goes through a variety of emotions as we live day to day, week to week, and year to year. It is this which I wish to talk about and hopefully generate some perspective on. I hope by reading that you will better be able to put into perspective your lives and further orient yourself towards happiness.

 

There is a weather map here.  As you can see on the weather map, there are ‘fronts’ displayed on the United States, Canada, and Mexico.  There are cold fronts (the blue lines with triangles) and warm fronts (the red lines with circles).  Cold fronts are masses of cooler and dryer air.  Warm fronts are masses of warmer air.  The effects of a warm front can mean warmer and nicer weather, while a cold front can bring a drop in temperature with uncomfortable effects.  Both warm and cold fronts play a large role in the weather we experience each and every day.

 

I would like to talk about each of our lives as we experience shifts in weather as it pertains to our situations, state of being, and perspective.  I believe there are many ‘fronts’ we each experience and understanding and properly interpreting them is a key for understanding and getting through life in a positive manner.

 

Warm Fronts

 

There are times in life when the weather seems perfect.  Everything is going well.  Perhaps you just got your dream job and are making lots of money.  Maybe you just won a basketball game that you worked hard for.  Or maybe you just met the man/woman of your dreams and nothing could be better.  Take a moment and really think about your life and all the good things that have happened.  I hope that this takes a while and that you’ve been blessed with many good things.  Think about how good you felt during those good things.  Now let me share with you a few things about this.

 

While wonderful things are happening, take a look at one constant thing – yourself and a perspective of yourself and others.  Even though things may be good for you, others may be in a worse off position.  How thankful are you at that time for your health, success, and happiness?  Look at what has brought on the wonderful things in your life.  Even take time to see that if some of the things that appear to be good are actually disguised or covering up something that is bad.  It’s very easy to be on ‘cloud 9′ or in a euphoric state during wonderful things.  While I am not advocating not getting excited, I recommend to you to always keep a sense of realism and understanding, no matter how good things seem to be going.  Always keep yourself in check and be happy with what you have, but never content.

 

Cold Fronts

 

Sometimes in life, the weather gets gloomy, the cold sets in, and things just seem to be off.  Take a moment and think about your life.  Think about some of the negative things that have happened.  I don’t mean for you to dwell on these things, but it is important to realize them.  Perhaps you’ve had a nasty divorce or two.  Maybe you just lost a great job.  Or you lost the basketball game you worked so hard for.  Maybe your health is suffering.  There are a slew of things that can go wrong in life.

 

Again, take a look at yourself when things are going wrong.  I have no doubt that most people can figure out how things went wrong.  Maybe you were not assertive or educated enough while at a job interview, which cost you a job.  Perhaps you have been neglecting your spouse and they have grown distant from you.  Whatever the turmoil is, there is a reason it is there.  And you can most often look at yourself to see why it is there.  Keep a level head and maintain happiness even when things are gloomy.  I myself am in a ‘cold front’ right now (as of Aug. 21 2008).  I don’t have a full time job, money is very tight, and my wife’s insurance is about up.  I am doing the best I can to rectify this situation.

 

Maintaining Perspective

 

I spent a couple years in Ireland many years ago from 1997 – 1999.  I was there on a service mission for church.  My family paid for this.  Not only that, I spent many days in the rain, getting drenched as I went around trying to help other people.  At around the age of 20, it was very hard for me to keep perspective.  Trudging around in the rain just plain sucked!  Many years later, it is now funny how I love to be in the rain for long periods of time!

 

The perspective to have here is that even things which appear awful or gloomy in life, may not be so.  I hurt my left hand in high school during basketball season.  At first I was very frustrated.  It was my left hand and I am left handed.  However, after a few weeks, I had used my right hand so much, that I gained some skill using my right hand.  Being able to use both hands in basketball is a very beneficial skill.  There is a saying that it is always darkest before the dawn.  I do believe that when challenges are hitting and things are going rough, that this is the storm that must be weathered until the calm arrives and great things start happening. I will not be surprised if the things in my life which are rough right now turn into some wonderful things happening in the months ahead.

 

The same calm and optimistic demeanor that is necessary during bad times must also be had during the good times.  I am convinced that the more we can keep the same composure when things are going good or bad, the more we will have perspective and be able to handle any situation.  Whether you have millions of dollars and a happy family, or you are struggling to make ends meet, take a look at yourself.  Be thankful – understand the good and bad.  Do what you can to correct the bad things in your life.  I know that with faith, determination, and patience, that life can be managed, endured, learned from, and ultimately prosperous.

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It is indeed 1:25… now 1:26 AM in the morning.  I writhed in bed for over an hour with no sleep in sight.  I just have so much going on in my mind about drjerm.com and this blog and what I am trying to achieve as a life coach.  I’m realizing more and more that this is what I am supposed to be doing.  I can’t quite explain it, but it’s as if my stomach is trying to burst out of me.  I can feel it within me, this is what I am supposed to be doing.

 

I am not sure where all of this will take me.  I am truly genuine in wanting to help other people.  I hope I’ve been able to show that with the sheer amount of time invested in this blog and my website at drjerm.com.  I don’t think I would have spent 300 plus hours doing it all if I didn’t have a burning desire for it.  Not only that, I need the life coaching just as much as the next person, so it is helping me a great deal to!

 

I face questions and obstacles with trying to do what it is I now am feeling I was put on this earth to do.  To be a beacon of light for other people.  To help those who are in need.  I may not be superman, able to fly around and save the day, but I do believe I possess the charisma, compassion, and drive to help people make changes in their lives, both about their individual selves, and their situations.

 

Challenges

 

The first challenge obviously is getting enough money from doing life coaching that I don’t have to resort to going to find a job as a developer where most of my time will be taken.  I am lucky to be able to work at home right now.  I work my tail off and hope that can be the way I work.  But I also know that my family comes first.  If I have to, I can go find a job doing website development and programming that will provide insurance for my wonderful wife and support our family.

 

At the same time, I feel I was born to do life coaching.  I feel there are countless people out there who need to hear my voice and read what I write.  I feel that I have the ability to make people laugh, inspire people, and to in general, help people see that they can get more out of life.  Life does not have to be this constant battle where we are pinned, desperately trying to get by.

 

The second challenge is capturing people and having them know this website exists.  This is a challenge.  I am learning more as time goes on, but I really would love it if the whole world knew about my website.  I know there would be a lot of critics, ready to refute everything I have to say.  That is fine, a wonderful thing about this world is that we all can choose what we wish to do.

 

The third challenge is educating myself on how to help people in the right way.  I’ve spent the most of my life career programming websites.  Along the way, I’ve spuradically helped people with their troubles and encouraging them.  The challenge for me is to make sure I have the education and resources available so that when I am coaching someone, I am giving them the best darn coaching they could ever receive.

 

Opportunities

 

I’ve thought about ways that I can make a living doing life coaching.  So far, my blog and website are all free to use and they will continue to be so.  I’ve added my DrJerm’s recommended page to this blog and on my website at drjerm.com, I’ve got self help reviews on products I think are useful.  You can look at these and choose to buy whatever you see from Amazon.com.  That is one way I make money – by getting a small portion as an affiliate with Amazon.  I also make money from the advertisement links on my sites.  This is called Google Adsense.  I get a small portion of the click for that ad, from Google.com.  Please do not click the links unless you see something you are actually interested in.

 

The Amazon products and Google Adsense are nice, but I don’t see them providing the opportunity for me to do this full time for a while.  As such, I’ve got some other ideas that I’d like to throw around.  Some of these my site visitors have given to me.  I would appreciate feedback on them and the potential you might think they have.  They are:

 

• Individual life coaching sessions, one on one for 45 minutes.  These would be done over the phone.  Not sure the pricing on these sessions, but I would want it to be affordable.
• Seminars – this would be kind of like a group gathering where you have dinner with a large group of people at tables and a stage where I and possibly others would speak.  Tickets would be purchased for the event.  This idea actually intrigues me a lot.
• Creating books, guides, and interactive tools.  I like the idea of creating things that people can choose to purchase.  But they would have to be pretty spectacular.  I don’t like the idea of selling an ebook that took just a night to create and talking about it like it’s the new Bible.  I’ve seen people do that – I don’t like it.  I think spending a good while on a few of these things might provide an opportunity to sell something fairly cheap that had enormous value.
• Create a course that people can complete.  Outline various steps and things that need to be done to have a life that can be fulfilling and happy.  Find some way to have this course taught.  Possibly do a 10 day course or something at a resort.  At the end of 10 days, it’s like a boot camp being finished, except you feel great afterwards.
• Speaking – I love to speak publicly.  This was not always so.  I used to be terrified of it!  Now I love it because I know I am reaching out to many people when I do it.  For this, I will just have to figure out how to get lots of people at a certain place where they can all hear my voice.
• Custom Items – I could make the ‘Trident of Transcendence’ from my drjerm website or any number of things.  I like the idea of doing this so that someone can place this item on their mantle and look at it.
• Donations – There is a donate link at the top of my blog.  I never ask for donations.  However, if you feel so inclined because something I did really helped you, feel free to donate.  Every little bit helps!

 

These are just some of the ideas I have.  Obviously, I need my website to get more traffic (traffic meaning people sitting at their computers using it :)).  I believe this will continue to happen over time.  I will continue to add useful information and resources and continue to talk to people about it.  I will make a business card and talk with pride about my site to everyone I come in contact with.  I am not afraid to talk about it, that’s for sure!

 

It’s 1:53 AM now.  I think I am finally tired, which is a good thing.  I look forward to all the challenges I need to overcome to get to where I need to be.  Meeting ‘The Rock’, Dwayne Johnson is one of those challenges that I am tackling.  I also want to make 100 basketball free throws in a row.  I shot at Gold’s Gym the other day and I made 82 in a row!  I am getting closer.  I ended up shooting 99/100.  These kinds of things are mini goals to keep me sharp and focused.  Plus I love basketball.  Anyhow, I am going to sign off now, goodnight!

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Hello, it’s me, Drjerm again.  I have some interesting news I wish to share with everyone.  Yesterday, the owners of the company I helped start had a meeting with many of the management and my development team.  The end result is that a lot of people are going to be let go, including the whole development team, excluding one of the guys who will assist part time to maintain things.  There will be somewhat of a part time income still available from work there, but the end result is that I have lost my day job.

 

This is kind of ironic since my last post was about what to do when you need/want to leave your job :)

 

Sometimes life throws a wrench into things, and this is one of those cases.  I have a few options of what I can do.  I could become bitter, angry, worried, stressed, and frustrated.  I could become consumed with losing my job and panic.  What will that get me?  Probably bad health, a broken family, and backwards progress.  I could feel bad for the other developers I worked with as well, especially the ones who haven’t worked there for very long.  But Instead, here’s what I plan on doing:

 

I will be taking the positives from the situation and using a glass half full mentality.  I will encourage the developers who have been let go.  Some of them have gained new and exciting skills in developing websites.  I will inspire them to get a new and better job and wish them the best of luck.  I will be understanding if some of them are very angry.

 

I will use the knowledge I gained as I’ve worked for this comany the last 10 months.  I’ve learned quite a bit about people and situations.  I understand that the owners of companies who are investing money are interested in one thing with a company – having its expenses low and revenues high.  If this means letting people go, that will happen.  I’ve learned to be very careful when having anyone approach you and say they need your help with a business venture.

 

My advice to any of you who are being approached to ‘help’ someone start a business is that you must understand that in most cases you are a means to an end.  This is not negative, this is reality.  You have a skill or ability that is needed for the business to get going.  You may get promised a high salary, a position in upper management, or any number of things.  But realize that over time you may have fulfilled your role in helping the company get started and get let go.  All I am saying, is be VERY careful when people are asking things of you and making you promises.

 

So I have a newfound knowledge of people and business.  That is a positive.  I also have an opportunity over the next three to six months to make a decision.  I will either get another job doing web development, or I will go full blast on my own business ventures :)  My inner gut tells me I need to go full blast on my business ventures.  That I need to fulfull my destiny and make this website really strong.  That I need to give an honest, hard attempt over the next three to six months at least on bringing in my own income.

 

I believe this is what I’m going to do.  If you’ve lost your job, chances are you will be getting some kind of severance pay or supplemental income.  For me, I will get some, but this will still make our income very tight.  Luckily we’ve saved up a little money to last for three to six months.  If we are careful and frugal, I believe I can make a six month attempt to really get the ball rolling with creating my legacy in the world with this website and other business ventures.  I look forward to the challenge.

 

I am not afraid of failing.  I know that I have skills in web development and that I can find a job doing it.  I’ve learned that keeping your skills up to date is important.  To never take anything for granted.  To always be ready for any kind of situation.  To be ready for change and be internally motivated.  I am excited for this challenge in my life.

 

I am a firm believer that when a big challenge occurs in life that it is a doorway to much bigger things if we will but be persistent and diligent as we seek to overcome and learn from the challenge.

 

My advice to those of you who have lost your job is to take the positives from it.  Don’t panic.  Build yourself up and understand that you are special and important.  Find confidence by reading through the resources on my website.  Realize that you can do anything you set your mind to.

 

As such, I have a few very cool things planned for drjerm.com as I will be able to devote FULL TIME work to it now!  Stay tuned for what some of these plans are!

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Do you look at the success of others and in frustration and jealousy wish you had what they did?  Do you wonder if you could ever succeed like they do?  Could you ever become like ‘The Rock’, Brad Pitt, Dr. Phil, Lebron James, or any other famous person?  There is a little known secret about the success of others.  Most of them have tried and failed, and a lot of them failed many times before they found true success.  Watch this video for a glimpse into this:

 

 

So you see, successful people are the same as the rest of us, except for one difference.  What sets them apart is that they tried.  And after they tried, they tried some more.  And they kept on trying.  They did not give up.  What is your idea of success?  Is it making millions of dollars?  Is it gaining a higher position at your job?  Is it bettering relationships?  Is it making a website that is the ‘next big thing’?  Whatever the success is you seek, be prepared to spend time failing before you reach it.

 

What is Stopping You?

 

For some, they get a spark of a great idea.  They may want to make a website.  They go out and buy a domain name and work on it for a few hours in excitement.  After a few hours, they realize that there is no money coming in from the website and they give up.  Or the dreams of gaining a promotion occur and in a brief spurt of excitement, the person does a little bit more.  But after a few days gives up because it appears that nothing has happened.

 

Please, read very carefully.  If you are interested in achieving your dreams or the things you want the most, or if you are just looking to advance yourself in your career, or attain anything in life, then what I have to say is of utmost importance to you.  The following are key points that keep us from our dreams.  Learn to overcome them and you will have nothing to stop you.

 

Discouragement From Failure/Lack of Results

 

If you get nothing else from what I write here, please look at this.  This is, “well I tried it for a few days or weeks, nothing happened, so I’m done”.  Or it is the fear of failure and the hopelesness that you can’t do it.  The hardest part is not finding out what you are passionate about.  That part is easy.  You just look at what you like and are good at and put the two together.  The hard part is maintaining a persistent and dedicated effort.

 

As I write now, I realize that I could spend time over the next year working on my website, drjerm.com, and my blog here.  And it may become a barely trafficed website that nobody uses and some might consider the hundreds of hours put in a waste of time.  This is an obstacle to overcome.  Time spent pursuing your dreams and passion IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME!  I face the same attacks of discouragement as the rest of you.  I don’t know that you can get away from discouragement completely.  The good news is that you can cut it down and not let it affect you.

 

Bad Habits Preventing Productive Time

 

This is just a guess, but I believe a very accurate guess, and that is most people wake up, eat something, rush to school/work, stare at the clock all day, five o’clock (or whenever work/school ends) comes close and getting fidgety sets in.  At the stroke of five (or the end of school/work), they bolt home, get home, and plop in front of the TV.  Watching their favorite shows and recordings after all is comfort from the terrible workday.  Or they may go out to eat frequently, going to Wendy’s, McDonalds, or other restaurants because it’s too hard to cook or do dishes.  Perhaps an addiction to video games can also be thrown into the mix.

 

And so this cycle goes on for a while and becomes quite engrained in the individual.  After a while, hope of doing anything but this fades away.  How can you possibly achieve your dreams when you spend all your time in the pursuit of things that are ultimately going to leave you empty and likely depressed.  The good news is that you can overcome the habitual living of everyday life, no matter how deep into bad habits you have gotten into.

 

Low Self Esteem and Motivation

 

I used to beat myself up all the time when I was younger.  I was scared to try new things.  The thought of making videos and posting them online would not have even crossed my mind.  I would have been too worried about what people would think or that nobody would like them.  I’ve been told plenty of times that I am dumb and look goofy.  I’ve experienced all the insults and frustrations that one can go through.

 

The battle of low self esteem is a very real danger.  You may see other people fighting this battle.  They may not like the way they look, talk, or feel.  This is an obstacle for you to overcome.  My website, drjerm.com, offers resources to help you paint a better picture of yourself.

 

I Don’t Know Where to Start, I am Ignorant

 

You are not ignorant, but not knowing where to start is a common scenario.  There is always uncertainty when entering the realm of something you have not done.  So how do you start?  Well, realize you have countless resources around you, so start asking questions.  Go to Google and start searching your butt off on what you are trying to do.  Go to Amazon.com and look at books and DvD’s that might help.  Talk to those you are in contact with.  Think carefully with your brain and focus.  The main thing is you can get proactive and figure things out.  We are all intelligent.  Knowledge is gained through proactive choices.

 

I had a talk with a young gal recently and asked her what her dreams and aspirations were.  She wasn’t sure.  But I know this gal pretty well and I said to her, “You like R&B music and entertainers.  What’s stopping you from pursuing that, maybe becoming an agent or promoter of them?”.  Her reply somewhat saddened me, “I don’t know what to do or even where to begin!”.

 

Look, you have countless resources available to you.  In this day and age, information is readily available.  You have your own brain to thoroughly think with.  In the case of this young gal, she can go out and search, find people to network within the R&B industry, and start making a name for herself with a website.  She can see how the industry works by just looking at who is doing it right now via the Internet.  Get a collection of all the rappers and R&B singers.  Become an expert with all of them – she is already probably.  Be creative and make something happen.

 

I know it’s a little daunting to go through uncharted territory.  But use your senses and you will find that if you take time to think and make an honest effort, that ideas will come to you.

 

So What, Nothing is Happening, What do I Need to Do?

 

I created drjerm.com to help people gain the foundation in their life that would lead them to begin discovering their destiny so that a legacy can be created.  Please use this resource first.  Paint a new picture of yourself.  Once you do this, you can start looking at the final step of creating your legacy and pursuing your dreams and passions.  Follow these simple steps:

 

1. Find what it is you are passionate about and grab hold of it and don’t let go
2. Begin becoming an expert in your passion using all resources available to you
3. Be persistent, giving a consistent effort over a long period of time
4. Give effort for as long as it takes, months/years, decades if needed – do not expect quick results
5. If in the end, if you realize that success is not going to happen, smile – you’re in the lower 1% that truly gave an honest effort in pursuing their dream.  You will have learned much :)

 

The main thing is not giving up because after a few days/weeks/months, nothing seems to be happening.  Maybe you appear to be failing at what it is you are doing.  Do not give up.  Fight through it all.  Do not go in front of the TV, but really take the time each day to work on your dreams and passion.  Over the course of quite some time, you will likely see positive results.

 

Why Should I Care or Even Listen to You?

 

I HOPE that you are asking this question.  At the time of writing this, I know I am just one man.  I am a website developer by day looking to make a difference.  I’m not making millions of dollars.  I make a salary that supports my family.  I make next to nothing right now with my website and blog – I actually pay more than I earn.  In that sense, I am an average guy.  But I know that I am more than that.  Each day I strive to improve and leave my legacy to the world.  I wish to be remembered as someone who gave honest advice and helped thousands of people discover their destiny and leave their legacy in the world.  I want to inspire people!  I want people to know that I tried and was successful at many things.

 

Look through my site and this blog.  If you don’t get any use out of it, then by all means, you should not care or listen to me.  But if you have even an ounce of stirring or thought provoking as you look through ALL of my pages and information, I encourage you to put it to the test.  Try what I am saying.  See if you don’t see a difference.  I am a big fan of looking at results, or seeing what fruit is produced by a seed.

 

With a little effort and faith, you can make the change to have things start happening in your life.  Best of luck to you!

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One morning, while getting ready for work, I just happened to flip on the TV and stopped and was watching Montell Williams (a talk show host).  This is not normally a show I watch, but for some reason I decided to watch it.  It was a rerun episode (aired a couple years ago), and the guest for the time was Yvette Cade, an amazing woman who has an amazing story.

 

Yvette Cade Story

 

At her place of employment, Yvette was doused with gasoline and set on fire by her ex-husband.  She suffered third degree burns over 60% of her body.  Her flesh is scarred and this is a terrible tragedy.  As I watched the Montell Williams show, and listened to her story, I wondered and contemplated what could drive a man, especially for someone they knew well, to set them on fire.  Stories like this do test my faith and courage, but there is more to the story!

 

Yvette has appeared on the Montell Williams show, the Nancy Grace show, and the Oprah Winfrey show.  She calmly speaks of the tragedy that occured and seeks to give warning to those women who are in an abusive relationship.  She seeks to uplift, inspire, and influence others for good.  This is the inspiring story, and the legacy that Yvette Cade is creating.

 

What Can be Learned From Yvette Cade

 

One big thing that can be learned from Yvette is that overcoming challenges and overcoming hardships can be done no matter how severe the situation.  How many of you have been set on fire and your body scarred for life?  How many of you would jump right back up and move forward with determination and passion if this happened to you?  I am learning from this amazing woman that no matter how difficult your situation, you can choose to be positive, confident, and optimistic.

 

Another lesson that can be learned from Yvette is that you can be more than just positive, confident, and optimistic.  She has a website, is proactively doing fund raising and seeking to help women in abusive relationships.  She is not just content to have survived.  She is seeking to leave a legacy in the world in which we live.  I am inspired and uplifted by Yvette.

 

Final Thoughts on the Yvette Cade Story

 

There are individuals who live on the earth today that do unspeakable acts of evil and harm.  On the flip side, there are amazing individuals with godlike qualities.  Yvette Cade is one such individual.  I’ve only seen her on the Montell Williams show for a few minutes and read over her website, but I am amazed by her story.  Someday I may meet her, but either way, she has touched and enriched my life and I give thanks to her for this.

 

I highly encourage the visiting of Yvette’s website.  Read the inspiring story of Yvette Cade.

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