Leap Frogging From Ordinary To Extraordinary

I am going to share my thoughts about what separates the extraordinary from the ordinary. First off, there has been plenty said about what stops people from being extraordinary. Some of these are fear of failure, fear of criticizm, and fear of the unknown. But I do not wish to dwell on the negative aspects. I wish to share what I’ve seen in extraordinary people that sets them apart from others. And perhaps you will find the courage to be extraordinary.

 

The questions you may ask are why should I listen to you and why should I care? Those are two very excellent questions. The answer to the first is simply read and listen to what I have to say. If you don’t find any use for it, I wish you the best. The answer to the second one is a hidden life of great reward and fulfillment.

I believe that a special animal is needed to really illustrate this article - and that animal is the loveable frog! One of the coolest features of a frog is its ability to leap. And my how they leap – some frogs can leap over 50 times their body length, while the ‘average’ frog only leaps about 20 times its body length. If you were to take a six foot tall human, that’s 300 feet at a peak jump! Now that is the equivalent of one of us homosapiens nearly hurdling over the Statue of Liberty!

 

I really hope these links last a long time, but they are my reference for my information about frogs:
http://animals.howstuffworks.com/amphibians/frog-info.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statue_of_Liberty

 

Think of success, in this case, as the level to which one completes the ideas in his/her mind. Each level requires more and more of a jump to get to. To illustrate, let’s start first with the level of success in where you exist on this earth. I think everyone alive has achieved this level of success, and so we will create the first circle. And look at that, it’s one big party in there and everyone is invited. Congratulations, you have achieved the first level of success. And that is to exist here on this earth. No small feat by any means, this life is meant to challenge us, and just the fact you are here is impressive. But still, everyone else has done it as well.

 

 

Often times people talk about ideas for stuff they would like to do. Whether it’s starting a business, going on a trip, or changing a bad habit, most people have done this. But not everyone. It is a requirement to be able to communicate with others in order to do this. Still, this next circle is full of people, albeit somewhat less than the first. These are people who have simply spoken about something they would like to do and nothing more.

 

 

The next circle consists of those who go a leap further than simply talking about what they would like to do. Perhaps they write down some of what they would like to do, and begin to create a plan for putting it into motion. The beginning of creating the idea is the group of people in this circle and there is a smaller amount of people here than the previous one. These people have actually started to put their ideas into motion for a short time.

 

 

Further still is the next circle and even smaller is the amount of people in it. The next group of people have spent some time trying to put their ideas into motion. But obstacles, challenges, burn out, or other problems have discouraged them from continuing. After a few months, they have given up, but gave a good short burst to try their idea. These are the people who tried for a little while but just didn’t have it in them to keep going.

 

 

The disparity between this circle and the others before it is frightening. The leap to this circle is made by a small amount of people in the world. These are the people who get past the challenges and obstacles in their way to keep fighting to make their ideas a reality. This group of people are creating their ideas no matter what. The amount of people aware of their ideas may be relatively small however, but still, these people see their ideas through to completion.

 

 

The last circle here has a microscopic amount of people compared to the very first. In it are people who have ideas and see them to fruition. Not only that, they are able to get people around the world to be aware that their ideas exist. They capitalize by having their ideas purchased or adopted and make up some of the wealthiest and/or enriched people in the world today. These are the people whose burning desire, planning, and persistence far exceed the averge person. These are the leaders of the world today.

 

 

Do you have what it takes to make the leap to the final circle? It is a journey not many have completed. Most stop well before getting there. But if you have the courage, persistence, dedication, and intelligence to do it, the reward is well worth it. I am taking the leap to this final circle. I am far from getting there, but I am continuing my efforts each day.

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Many of you reading this drive at least a few times a week. For me, at the time of writing this, I am working as a software developer on Ancestry.com. I have a 20 minute commute to and from work each day which involves driving on the freeway and in the city (albeit a small city). One of the most bizarre things happened last week while I was driving. I already am very observant of the driving of others around me, and what happened stood out more than most I’ve seen.

 

Entering the freeway

 

Freeways are roads used to drive as quickly as possible to other areas. They are made without stop lights or stop signs, and minimal turns. Generally, you get on a freeway from a city, where there is a road that turns on to it. As you do this, most of the time, there is a stretch of road you drive in that eventually merges with the freeway. This means that the road you are driving on will eventually be part of the freeway, and as such, care must be taken to look for other drivers who could potentially clash with you. And those same drivers must also keep an eye out for people entering the freeway, so as not to cut them off.

 

I was on a freeway with three lanes, driving home. There was a car, preparing to enter the freeway and onto the right lane. There was a car already driving in the right lane, that appeared it would hit the ‘merge’ spot at the same time as the car preparing to enter. All this was happening about 50 to 60 feet in front of me. So I slowed down a little bit as the car already on the freeway was not giving an inch. In the car trying to merge appeared to be a young college male, and he ended up having to drive on the shoulder of the freeway as there was no room for him to get on. I’ve never seen this happen before. He drove on the shoulder of the freeway on the right for a good 15 seconds, before he finally got space to merge in.

 

As such, DrJerm is going to provide you with some tips that will make your driving experience much safer, relaxing, and enjoyable.

 

Relax

 

Realize that you don’t need to zip at a million miles an hour everytime you get in your car and have to go somewhere. It’s ok to relax and enjoy stops at stop signs and red lights. It’s okay if traffic gets a little slow. Just sit back, meditate, and think of things you are going to do. Practice this, and what used to be inconveniences for you while driving will turn into opportunities to think and organize your thoughts.

 

Constantly Survey and Watch Other Cars

 

Driving while watching and anticipating the moves of others has prevented me from rear ending cars, getting side swiped, or getting into dangerous driving situations. Not only that, it has allowed me to be courteous while driving and provide opportunities for other cars to be safer. When I saw that the two cars were going to have a problem with the merge on the freeway, I slowed down, so I was not in the way. Had I just kept going, I would have been right next to the offending car that blocked the merging car, and could have potentially caused an accident.

 

Stay at or Just Above the Speed Limit

 

Driving at, or just above the speed limit ensures that you won’t have a cop with flashing lights startling you while driving. It also means you will have more time to react to situations around you. Avoid the temptation to go more than five miles an hour past the speed limit. Not only is it more safe, it is more gas efficient (if you are driving a gas powered car).

 

Let Others in Front of You

 

It’s okay to let someone in your lane in front of you. Resist the urge to speed up when someone tries to get in your lane. Most people are not trying to get in your lane because they saw your car and deicded that offending you was suddenly their prime objective for driving. No, most people are driving because they are trying to get somewhere. And unfortunately, most people try to as speedily get there as possible. Try enjoying the ride for a change.

 

Keep a Safe Distance in Front of You

 

I keep at least four car length in front of me on the freeway, usually five or six. This means many people will cut in front of me, and that is fine. I just slow down a little and keep driving. When I have to slow down because of an accident or traffic congestion, I don’t have to slam on my breaks. I can hit the breaks, and have plenty of time to slow down or stop. Resist the urge to get as close to people in front of you as possible. Doing this shows impatience, and also greatly increases the risk of hitting them, should the need to stop arise.

 

Please Signal

 

Some people like to drive and change lanes, moving around without any notification that they are doing so. Whether this is because they just don’t care, or for any other reason, this is unsafe. Please use your blinker to indicate you are changing into another lane or turning. Not only is this safe, but it is courteous and just might brighten someone’s day.

 

So Why Does This Matter?

 

This matters because following these, and other safe driving tips, will help you be calmer, more courteous, and more safe as you drive. You will notice that driving is no longer a chore, waiting at a red light isn’t a big deal, and that before you know it, you’ve arrived at your destination!

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Regret can consume you if you let it.  I know from experience.  I am sure that every person alive has many things in their past that they can dwell on and feel guilty or sorry about.  Perhaps you wish you would have done better in school, or even attended school.  Maybe your frustrated with a few bad relationships that never worked out.  Or maybe you look back on the years of your life and wonder what it is all for, and consider all the time wasted.  Let’s take a moment and read about the man who regretted everything.

 

There was a man, when born regretted leaving his mother’s womb and entering the world.  The womb was cosy, he wanted to go back.

 

When in pre-school, he regretted growing up and wanted to be a baby again, so he could be fed and cuddled all the time.

 

When in elementary school, wished he could go back to pre school.  There were half days and life was easy.  Now a full day of school was too much.

 

As high school rolled around, he wished he could go back to elementary school.  Life was simple then and girls were never an issue.  Homework was easier.

 

As the college years rolled by, he longed for high school.  He missed his friends and wanted to enjoy the easy life of living with his parents.

 

As his career began, and he began to age, he wished he could be in college again.  A few more parties would make him happy again.

 

Upon reaching middle age, the man longed for his younger years working.  He didn’t feel as much pain and had more energy.

 

The end of his life approaching, the man looked back at his life.  He wondered how his life was coming to an end so quickly.  He wished that he could start over again.

 

Live in the moment

 

Like this man, we too may often dwell on the past and long for things that once were.  Beware this fools gold.  Our lives are what we make of them.  Choose to enjoy what is happening this very moment and you will never want for the past.  You will look on the past with fond memories instead.  Live every moment to its fullest, and I can promise you that regret will be hard to come by.

 

Handling Regrets

 

I have many things in my past that I could regret.  Some are embarassing, others silly.  Let me share several of these with you, and I do so with a knowledge that some may make me appear foolish or silly.  I am fine with this as I have learned to live with my past.  I will explain how I accept each of these now and with that and a drum roll, here are some of the things I used to regret, but now which I have learned to live with.

 

• Growing up, I was very shy.  Because of this, there were girls I could have gotten to know and increase my socializing skills with.  Because of this, I have had to work hard learning how to handle social situations.

 

I acknowledge and accept that I was once a shy person with little confidence.  Perhaps it robbed me of some experiences that would have been useful, but it was who I was.  I accept that, and all the good and bad that it created.

 

• I played basketball in high school, but never feel I really achieved my potential.  I always felt like something was wrong with me.

 

There is nothing wrong with me.  I am a talented basketball player.  Perhaps my role on the team wasn’t the best it could have been, or other factors contributed.  I used to think of these things.  Now I accept the outcome of my high school basketball career and have since moved on, and enjoy whenever I can play.

 

• I’ve been a little too pushy and over-protective with people in my past, and even recent past.  Perhaps I will have the fortune that one of those people will read this blog entry.  They will know who they are.  I pried and kept tabs on certain people which I will keep anonymous.  I even had the nerve to park my car after one finished a late night date to make sure they got home on time.  My decision making with these people was not the best it could have been and I pushed them away because of it.

 

I no longer worry about how I was too over-protective and the way I was too pushy.  I realized that I just cared and handled it in the wrong way.  I have since changed to a stance where I believe people will blossom and grown and learn, while trying to provide help from afar in the best way I know how.  I know that I am not perfect, but I am able to look back and accept both the harm and good that resulted from my being over-protective, and am happy with my change since then.

 

• I helped start a business with someone, and eventually was hired as a full time employee for a company they created.  Things did not work out at all and the result was a big strain on my life.

 

Several of my past blog entries cover in detail this situation, and my frustration and anger at the time is very evident.  In the past, I had anger, frustration, and revenge on my mind.  I felt betrayed.  There are times where I’ve acted out of anger and frustration towards business partners, in a couple different situations, and though I am sorry for it, I now accept my actions for who I was back then. As time has gone on and a little wisdom prevailed, I no longer feel any regret for this.  They are learning situations.  Whatever the reasons for it not working out, I accept, and have since moved on to furthering drjerm, writing a book, and other exciting things.

 

I know with a little effort and faith, that you can destroy your regrets.  You will no longer have them as you accept them and take the learning experiences and add them to your growth in life.

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There is a creature in the wild called the ‘chameleon’. They are shifty little creatures, able to blend and adapt to their environment, seemingly becoming one with their surroundings. They do this by changing their skin color. Whatever the reason for the chameleon changing their skin color is, by doing so, they are able to blend and adapt to their environment.

I am a software engineer for Ancestry.com working on the user interface for their search system at the time of writing this article.  I’ve been up since 6:10 AM, and just finished a P90X workout.  I am now writing this blog entry.  Having productive mornings has really made a positive impact on my life.  This is a change I am making to further progress my life.  I don’t get up 10 minutes before work now.  I have plenty of time in the morning to workout, meditate, and get ready.  Not only that, I am now looking back and adjusting some of the things I’ve been doing in the past.

 

For instance, meeting ‘The Rock’, Dwayne Johnson, is something that I am going to need a fair amount of time and money to do.  Not only that, I need to show that it is worth me meeting him by being successful in other areas of my life.  This includes drjerm.com, and other projects I am working on.  This means I am putting off meeting him for now while I focus on the smaller tasks at hand.  I was biting off a little more than I could chew jumping straight to meeting him before I take care of things in my own neck of the woods first.

 

My eating is changing as well.  I did pretty good before, but I would still splurge once or twice a week on fries, maybe a burger, as well as eating portions a bit too large.  Now I look at food as anything that is not helpful is repulsive to me.  Even pizza does not sound so good now.  It is amazing the mindset change that happens when you shift the focus to productive and worthwhile things.  I feel much happier too.  I am interested in eating fruits, vegetables, proteins, lean meats, and healthy drinks now.

 

How can you adapt?

 

I’ve seen myself and other people in ruts, unable to adapt, either because they can’t see what to change too, or they are comfortable with how they are.  Take a look at this list below and see if some of these thoughts, statements, and situations are similar to what you experience:

• I’m stuck at my job and it’s going nowhere.  But that’s work.  That’s life.
• I can’t stand eating fish, vegetables, (insert healthy food you don’t like here).
• Debt makes me feel trapped.
• I’m bored.
• Life sure is hard.
• I lose five pounds I gain five pounds.  The scale is not my friend.
• What is my problem?
• I’m snacking at night again.
• I hate seeing pictures of myself.

 

I’ve described some common ‘rut’ scenarios.  Take a look at them.  They are more common than you think.  You can even read other entries in my blog and see some of them discussed at length.  They are the mediocre person’s way of life, simply put.  Does that sound harsh?  Maybe so, but it is reality.  Living with trapped mindsets, without room for adaptability or flexibility provides a generally miserable and unsatisfying life.  So how do you break free of this?

 

Become the chameleon

 

There is hope.  The chameleon can adapt and so can you.  The powerful thing here is that all it takes is thought and choice.  You are struggling with snacking at night?  Keep a glass of water with you, and find something productive to do instead.  Think the thought, then walk and put yourself in the position to succeed.  Stay out of your kitchen and cupboards.  Fill your time with worthwhile things.  I have found that excessive leisure activity, even outside of working during the day, leads to an unhealthy lifestyle.

 

Is debt making you feel trapped?  I bet that there are many non-necessary expenses you can eliminate.  Make the decision to stop going out to eat so much.  Stop buying little knick knacks here and there that you really don’t need.  Don’t purchase in desperation.  Cancel your un-necessary subscriptions.  Downgrade or cancel altogether your TV plan.  I have found that most people have hundreds of dollars spent each month on totally non-essential things.  Simply find them and get rid of them.  Fill your time with something productive that you like to do.

 

Expand your skills.  Learn new abilities.  As a software developer, I am constantly having to stay on my toes and learn new technologies and development practices.  By doing this, I stay ahead and can adapt to change, such as losing my job.  If that were to happen, I am confident I would be able to move on and continue without missing too much of a beat.  This is so because I am confident, smart, and put in the necessary time to keep myself sharp.

 

The fascinating thing is that being adaptive, proactive, and productive takes more work than not doing it.  It may be a little more tiring even.  But I have found I am much happier when I am in this mode.  It is when I am not accomplishing much and spending far too much time in leisure that my happiness begins to wane.  Follow this basic principle and keep yourself engaged in something worthwhile and productive.  I know with effort, determination, and a little faith, you can make it happen.

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In the movie trilogy, “The Lord of the Rings” (LOTR), there is a gruesome and pitiful creature known as ‘Smeagol’.  He also goes by the name ‘Gollum’.  A main storyline in LOTR is the sad story of Smeagol and his desperate quest to find the One Ring of Power.

 

Smeagol once possessed this ring and became addicted to the power it brought him.  Having lost the ring before the LOTR series, Smeagol became obsessed in finding it.  Everything he did was based on his need for the ring.  He was addicted to it.  In the end, it was the catalyst for the fate he suffered.

 

There are many things in life that one should never be desperate for. By desperate I mean where your whole purpose for existing revolves around trying to fill the void of desperation you have. There are three desperations in particular that I would like to talk about.

 

Desperate for love

 

Throughout life, I’ve seen the desperation and need for love drive people to do some pretty crazy things.  And this desperation for love has come from people who are single, divorced, married – it does not matter your current relationship status.  It is ok to desire companionship from another person.  But think about how much you are thinking about it.  If all of your actions and time is solely spent on finding love, this should be a warning sign to you that you are way too desperate.

 

Especially if you are married and you find yourself looking to other men/women for love, take a step back.  You are likely not spending nearly the amount of time on your marriage that you should be.  If your marriage is not meant to be, take the steps to end it by communicating with your spouse.  But don’t go waltzing around behind your partners back looking for love and think it’s okay.  If you are not happy, communicate with your partner.

 

If your desire for love from another is the driving force in your life, I encourage you to take a second look at yourself.  I created drjerm.com to help people who struggle and face challenges in life.  This challenge is a big one.  If you take the time to go through my site and start working on creating a better you, you will then start spending less time on finding love and more time on doing the things you are passionate and talented about.  When you are happy, confident, and energetic, you will attract those who are the same.  You will then find the right kind of love, instead of in desperation, taking the first person that pays attention to you and smiles, and annointing that person as your true love.

 

Desperate for money

 

The recent news of mortgage companies facing serious financial troubles raises several issues.  One of the main ones is greed.  It is ok to want to have a lot of money.  But when that desire for money is at the forefront of all your decisions and you have no regard for your friends, co-workers, or family, then you are in serious trouble.  You become a slave to money and the many other areas of life will evade you.  Yes, you may get rich and be well to do with money.  But you will also likely be a chaotic spender of that money and get yourself into serious financial trouble.

 

With no back bone of living sound principals, including finance, even with large sums of money, you can bet that your greed will cause you to spend that money on things you probably don’t need.  And the more you spend, the more money you will want and a vicious spiral will form.  You will have no regard for people.  You will lie to people to get what you want.  Please, I’ve seen what greed for money can do to people.  Don’t let yourself get caught up with money being your primary focus to the point you will become cut throat and betray people.  Manage your money responsibly of course, but don’t let money be your driving force.

 

Desperate for acceptance

 

While growing up and going through schooling, up through high school, I was witness to many people who were desperate to fit in.  This caused them to act in a very irrational way that ended up ostracizing them from people even more.  Some kids in high school wanted to fit in so they got drunk, or smoked weed, or did other harmful drugs.  Or they would go through haneous initiations into groups that left them bruised and battered.  People focused on manipulation of others was common in high school and is indeed prevalent in all age groups.

 

My advice for those of you who are looking for acceptance is to stop trying to get accepted first and foremost and take a step back and examine yourself.  Yes look at yourself, nobody else.  Start spending time working on yourself, what you can do to be a little kinder, less of a back-biter, more of a friend.  Look to help people.  Don’t always ask people what they think of you.  This is a bad sign.  First be accepting of yourself.  When you reach that point, you will no longer need to ask people if you are doing the right thing, look ok, etc…

 

In the end, what matters most is where you are at in life and your acceptance of yourself.  If you are not happy with where you are, make the changes necessary to find happiness.  This involves hard work, kindness, and a slew of other things you can read about on drjerm.com.  I know that if you put time and effort, along with a little faith, into bettering yourself, you will no longer be desperate for anything, and find a true happiness that will transcend this life and carry you forward for the rest of your existence.

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( This article is written by Dr. J., my father )

 

It’s six o’clock in the morning as John’s alarm sounds. John had promised himself and his doctor that he would walk for at least thirty minutes each morning, but the bed is feeling too comfortable this morning, so John turns off the alarm and goes back to sleep.
 

This story and many others like it that we all can relate to are examples of inaction, or its twin sister procrastination, that often thwart the plans, hopes, and destiny of individuals.

 

As Nathaniel Howe once said, “The way to be nothing is to do nothing.” Of course, we are always doing something. We go here and there, and we do this and that. The question we should keep in mind is this, are our actions moving us closer to our goals and our ultimate destiny?

 

Why is getting important things done so difficult? Perhaps it is because of all the distractions the world has to offer such as entertainment, sports and recreation, toys, shopping, and the like. Maybe it is because we don’t know what to do first or simply what to do at all. Or maybe it is that we are not motivated enough to get moving now, or are simply just plain lazy.

 

It is true that the world is full of pleasurable interesting things to do. For many the goal of “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die” is life’s only goal. For those with true life-improvement goals, however, the distractions of the world can also be quite powerful. It is so easy to get caught up in the thick of thin things. Recognizing and controlling such distractions and roadblocks is a critical step in achieving our worthy goals. Finding successful strategies that limit, lock, or leave/eliminate these distractions is something that the serious reader is encouraged to go and do.

 

Setting a goal is a good start at improving one’s life or the world around us. Not knowing what to do to accomplish the goal means that we did not take the time to develop an achievement plan for the goal. Books, magazines, and the Internet contain much discussion about how to set goals and develop action plans. For example, type “SMART Goals” into your favorite search engine. If you are having difficulty deciding what to do to achieve your goal, then a diligent study of these available resources is something to go and do.

 

Motivation is perhaps the key ingredient in achieving our goals, yet one that is not well understood. Motivation is a psychological concept with no single universally accepted definition which concerns the determinants of intent, effort and tenacity, and the factors that push or pull us as individuals to behave in a particular manner. It involves the complex interaction of our knowledge, thoughts, beliefs and desires, senses, feelings, and sub-conscious programs.

 

When our goals involve things that we love and are excited to do, motivation is generally not a problem. However most goals are not like that. In fact they can be just the opposite. For example, a person who loves to eat will have a hard time getting motivated to lose weight. For such goals additional motivation must be obtained. For this we must take actions that influence or change the internal items listed above.

 

Once again the literature is abundant with ideas of things we can do to help increase our motivation. To-do lists, rewards, deadlines, reporting to others, self-talk, and imagining are but a few examples. The great secret, however, to motivation is the same as the great secret to happiness or the great secret to success. It is simply this – service to others. Abraham Lincoln said this, “When I do good, I feel good, when I don’t do good, I don’t feel good.”

 

Good feelings are positive motivators for other actions that help achieve our goals. In the Bible (Luke 10:25-36) we read about the parable of the Good Samaritan, a response by Jesus to the question – who is my neighbor? Several supposedly good people passed by the robbed and beaten traveler until a Samaritan stopped to help and care for him. “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? And he said, He that showed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

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I’ve begun to see a situation with people where they have worked at a company for 10, 15, or more years and either the company is running itself into the ground, or the worker at the company is no longer interested in being there.  For someone in this situation, what do you do?

 

Habit/Comfort

 

I have been fortunate ever since I graduated college in April 2004.  I am now working at my 4th job and each transition has been on my terms and my choosing and has provided me with an upgrade in my salary.  This is not the case for everyone.  Those of you who’ve been stuck at the same place of work for many many years have a lot of comfort and things you are used to at your job.  Adapting and changing will at first, be difficult.

 

The good news is that it’s not so difficult that you cannot do it.  Especially if your company is headed downhill either through management failures, or from just losing business over time.  The first step is not wanting to be comfortable but looking for a change.  This means gaining new skills and taking time to get out of your comfort zone.

 

Take the time to gain the skills for your field that you do not have.  For me, this means looking at the latest in web development technologies.  For others, this means learning to cook more exotic foods, find more creative ways to crunch numbers, or finding ways to better manage people.  Do not get discouraged because you do not know the extra skills you need.  Simply take the time to learn them through practice and application.  Find out what employers are looking for and go out and get those skills by any means necessary!

 

Change of Perception

 

Most of the people who’ve worked at the same company and that are in a rut there likely have a common scenario.  They have not had any of the following for many many years:

 

• Create a Resume
• Have a Job Interview
• Learn New Skills
• Excitement at the work place
• Desire to do anymore than is necessary to get the job done
• Compliments of management

 

I will say that the ‘drudgery’ of work creates a rut that hopefully can at least be recognized if you are in that situation.  I have some ideas that I believe can get you out of this rut, but you must be willing to take some action for an extended period of time.  Not working on it for a few days or weeks and then giving up because you didn’t see instant results.  The vision of long term effort and determination is what leads people to future success.

 

So the first step is changing your perception to someone who is proactive and enjoys new challenges.  This means talking to yourself and building yourself up.  Tell yourself you like new challenges.  Paint a picture of yourself that is happy and energetic.  You like to meet new people, undertake challenging projects, and solve problems.  You are successfull and happy.  You can do it!

 

What do You Want?

 

I know a guy who likes Harley Davidson motorcycles.  He’s worked at the same company for over 10 years.  He does not like it there.  He’s getting burned out and he likely comes home and just crashes, with no desire to try and accomplish much of anything.  This spiraling routine must be fought and beaten into the ground.  Do not feel like coming home from work is the end to your creative thinking and time to stuff your face with snacks and watch your favorite TV shows on DVR.  This will lead you to decay and a sedentary and unhappy life.

 

What you CAN do is spend time thinking about what you like and start putting action into place to pursue that which you like.  The guy I know that likes Harleys could start taking time to compile information about the motorcycles of today.  He could take pictures, and write pages and pages of information.  In time, he’d have the ‘bible’ of motorcycles.  This could lead him to start a website, create his own brand of motorcycle, start his own dealership, or start his own club.

 

Does this seem silly?  No way!  It is possible!  I am living proof of this.  I saw that I enjoyed helping people and wanted to make a difference in the world.  This means not coming home and sitting with my hands under my butt watching reruns of Seinfeld all day.  It means taking time to pursue my dreams and passions!  It means working on this website!  I am also going to be pursuing real estate and renting properties because I like working with people and know that some good extra money can come from it.

 

I am not afraid.  I know the pros and cons to what I do.  I move forward with determination and happiness.  I know that you can do the same.  Why wouldn’t you want to pursue the things you love the most and are passionate about?  Isn’t that what being happy is all about?

 

Being Fearless

 

Fear of the unknown, change, and leaving your comfort zone no doubt keeps you in check from changing the monotony of life.  It does not have to be that way!  You don’t have to make millions of dollars either.  I make a decent salary at my day job.  And I work on all this other stuff in my spare time.  I love doing it.  You may love motorcycles, music, singing, dancing, cooking, cars, magic – whatever it may be, if you love it and are good at it, I can’t see why you wouldn’t want to spend time on it.

 

Once you know what you want to do, make every effort to do it.  It’s like someone offering you a brief case full of gold, but you reject it because the brief case is heavy or looks funny and you don’t want it because it’s different than what you have.  My goodness, I hope you can see the fault of not pursuing your dreams and passions!

 

Do not be afraid of failing.  Take every effort to educate yourself.  Research, talk with others, and most importantly, take action.  Be happy that you are pursuing your dreams.  There is no feeling like knowing that you are doing what you are meant to be doing in life.  It removes fear and doubt and instead replaces you with confidence, happiness, and inner peace.  I know with faith, effort, and determination that you can break free of your many years at your job and start doing worthwhile things!

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Do you look at the success of others and in frustration and jealousy wish you had what they did?  Do you wonder if you could ever succeed like they do?  Could you ever become like ‘The Rock’, Brad Pitt, Dr. Phil, Lebron James, or any other famous person?  There is a little known secret about the success of others.  Most of them have tried and failed, and a lot of them failed many times before they found true success.  Watch this video for a glimpse into this:

 

 

So you see, successful people are the same as the rest of us, except for one difference.  What sets them apart is that they tried.  And after they tried, they tried some more.  And they kept on trying.  They did not give up.  What is your idea of success?  Is it making millions of dollars?  Is it gaining a higher position at your job?  Is it bettering relationships?  Is it making a website that is the ‘next big thing’?  Whatever the success is you seek, be prepared to spend time failing before you reach it.

 

What is Stopping You?

 

For some, they get a spark of a great idea.  They may want to make a website.  They go out and buy a domain name and work on it for a few hours in excitement.  After a few hours, they realize that there is no money coming in from the website and they give up.  Or the dreams of gaining a promotion occur and in a brief spurt of excitement, the person does a little bit more.  But after a few days gives up because it appears that nothing has happened.

 

Please, read very carefully.  If you are interested in achieving your dreams or the things you want the most, or if you are just looking to advance yourself in your career, or attain anything in life, then what I have to say is of utmost importance to you.  The following are key points that keep us from our dreams.  Learn to overcome them and you will have nothing to stop you.

 

Discouragement From Failure/Lack of Results

 

If you get nothing else from what I write here, please look at this.  This is, “well I tried it for a few days or weeks, nothing happened, so I’m done”.  Or it is the fear of failure and the hopelesness that you can’t do it.  The hardest part is not finding out what you are passionate about.  That part is easy.  You just look at what you like and are good at and put the two together.  The hard part is maintaining a persistent and dedicated effort.

 

As I write now, I realize that I could spend time over the next year working on my website, drjerm.com, and my blog here.  And it may become a barely trafficed website that nobody uses and some might consider the hundreds of hours put in a waste of time.  This is an obstacle to overcome.  Time spent pursuing your dreams and passion IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME!  I face the same attacks of discouragement as the rest of you.  I don’t know that you can get away from discouragement completely.  The good news is that you can cut it down and not let it affect you.

 

Bad Habits Preventing Productive Time

 

This is just a guess, but I believe a very accurate guess, and that is most people wake up, eat something, rush to school/work, stare at the clock all day, five o’clock (or whenever work/school ends) comes close and getting fidgety sets in.  At the stroke of five (or the end of school/work), they bolt home, get home, and plop in front of the TV.  Watching their favorite shows and recordings after all is comfort from the terrible workday.  Or they may go out to eat frequently, going to Wendy’s, McDonalds, or other restaurants because it’s too hard to cook or do dishes.  Perhaps an addiction to video games can also be thrown into the mix.

 

And so this cycle goes on for a while and becomes quite engrained in the individual.  After a while, hope of doing anything but this fades away.  How can you possibly achieve your dreams when you spend all your time in the pursuit of things that are ultimately going to leave you empty and likely depressed.  The good news is that you can overcome the habitual living of everyday life, no matter how deep into bad habits you have gotten into.

 

Low Self Esteem and Motivation

 

I used to beat myself up all the time when I was younger.  I was scared to try new things.  The thought of making videos and posting them online would not have even crossed my mind.  I would have been too worried about what people would think or that nobody would like them.  I’ve been told plenty of times that I am dumb and look goofy.  I’ve experienced all the insults and frustrations that one can go through.

 

The battle of low self esteem is a very real danger.  You may see other people fighting this battle.  They may not like the way they look, talk, or feel.  This is an obstacle for you to overcome.  My website, drjerm.com, offers resources to help you paint a better picture of yourself.

 

I Don’t Know Where to Start, I am Ignorant

 

You are not ignorant, but not knowing where to start is a common scenario.  There is always uncertainty when entering the realm of something you have not done.  So how do you start?  Well, realize you have countless resources around you, so start asking questions.  Go to Google and start searching your butt off on what you are trying to do.  Go to Amazon.com and look at books and DvD’s that might help.  Talk to those you are in contact with.  Think carefully with your brain and focus.  The main thing is you can get proactive and figure things out.  We are all intelligent.  Knowledge is gained through proactive choices.

 

I had a talk with a young gal recently and asked her what her dreams and aspirations were.  She wasn’t sure.  But I know this gal pretty well and I said to her, “You like R&B music and entertainers.  What’s stopping you from pursuing that, maybe becoming an agent or promoter of them?”.  Her reply somewhat saddened me, “I don’t know what to do or even where to begin!”.

 

Look, you have countless resources available to you.  In this day and age, information is readily available.  You have your own brain to thoroughly think with.  In the case of this young gal, she can go out and search, find people to network within the R&B industry, and start making a name for herself with a website.  She can see how the industry works by just looking at who is doing it right now via the Internet.  Get a collection of all the rappers and R&B singers.  Become an expert with all of them – she is already probably.  Be creative and make something happen.

 

I know it’s a little daunting to go through uncharted territory.  But use your senses and you will find that if you take time to think and make an honest effort, that ideas will come to you.

 

So What, Nothing is Happening, What do I Need to Do?

 

I created drjerm.com to help people gain the foundation in their life that would lead them to begin discovering their destiny so that a legacy can be created.  Please use this resource first.  Paint a new picture of yourself.  Once you do this, you can start looking at the final step of creating your legacy and pursuing your dreams and passions.  Follow these simple steps:

 

1. Find what it is you are passionate about and grab hold of it and don’t let go
2. Begin becoming an expert in your passion using all resources available to you
3. Be persistent, giving a consistent effort over a long period of time
4. Give effort for as long as it takes, months/years, decades if needed – do not expect quick results
5. If in the end, if you realize that success is not going to happen, smile – you’re in the lower 1% that truly gave an honest effort in pursuing their dream.  You will have learned much :)

 

The main thing is not giving up because after a few days/weeks/months, nothing seems to be happening.  Maybe you appear to be failing at what it is you are doing.  Do not give up.  Fight through it all.  Do not go in front of the TV, but really take the time each day to work on your dreams and passion.  Over the course of quite some time, you will likely see positive results.

 

Why Should I Care or Even Listen to You?

 

I HOPE that you are asking this question.  At the time of writing this, I know I am just one man.  I am a website developer by day looking to make a difference.  I’m not making millions of dollars.  I make a salary that supports my family.  I make next to nothing right now with my website and blog – I actually pay more than I earn.  In that sense, I am an average guy.  But I know that I am more than that.  Each day I strive to improve and leave my legacy to the world.  I wish to be remembered as someone who gave honest advice and helped thousands of people discover their destiny and leave their legacy in the world.  I want to inspire people!  I want people to know that I tried and was successful at many things.

 

Look through my site and this blog.  If you don’t get any use out of it, then by all means, you should not care or listen to me.  But if you have even an ounce of stirring or thought provoking as you look through ALL of my pages and information, I encourage you to put it to the test.  Try what I am saying.  See if you don’t see a difference.  I am a big fan of looking at results, or seeing what fruit is produced by a seed.

 

With a little effort and faith, you can make the change to have things start happening in your life.  Best of luck to you!

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One morning, while getting ready for work, I just happened to flip on the TV and stopped and was watching Montell Williams (a talk show host).  This is not normally a show I watch, but for some reason I decided to watch it.  It was a rerun episode (aired a couple years ago), and the guest for the time was Yvette Cade, an amazing woman who has an amazing story.

 

Yvette Cade Story

 

At her place of employment, Yvette was doused with gasoline and set on fire by her ex-husband.  She suffered third degree burns over 60% of her body.  Her flesh is scarred and this is a terrible tragedy.  As I watched the Montell Williams show, and listened to her story, I wondered and contemplated what could drive a man, especially for someone they knew well, to set them on fire.  Stories like this do test my faith and courage, but there is more to the story!

 

Yvette has appeared on the Montell Williams show, the Nancy Grace show, and the Oprah Winfrey show.  She calmly speaks of the tragedy that occured and seeks to give warning to those women who are in an abusive relationship.  She seeks to uplift, inspire, and influence others for good.  This is the inspiring story, and the legacy that Yvette Cade is creating.

 

What Can be Learned From Yvette Cade

 

One big thing that can be learned from Yvette is that overcoming challenges and overcoming hardships can be done no matter how severe the situation.  How many of you have been set on fire and your body scarred for life?  How many of you would jump right back up and move forward with determination and passion if this happened to you?  I am learning from this amazing woman that no matter how difficult your situation, you can choose to be positive, confident, and optimistic.

 

Another lesson that can be learned from Yvette is that you can be more than just positive, confident, and optimistic.  She has a website, is proactively doing fund raising and seeking to help women in abusive relationships.  She is not just content to have survived.  She is seeking to leave a legacy in the world in which we live.  I am inspired and uplifted by Yvette.

 

Final Thoughts on the Yvette Cade Story

 

There are individuals who live on the earth today that do unspeakable acts of evil and harm.  On the flip side, there are amazing individuals with godlike qualities.  Yvette Cade is one such individual.  I’ve only seen her on the Montell Williams show for a few minutes and read over her website, but I am amazed by her story.  Someday I may meet her, but either way, she has touched and enriched my life and I give thanks to her for this.

 

I highly encourage the visiting of Yvette’s website.  Read the inspiring story of Yvette Cade.

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Start by Watching My Video on Focus and Concentration

 

Having trouble concentrating is a common issue.  You may be in high school and just get bored in class and want to go to sleep.  Or you work at a job where you just can’t keep your mind on work.  Luckily, following a few simple steps will help you gain the concentration and focus needed to accomplish the tasks you set out to do.

 

Decide What you Want to Do

 

Having trouble concentrating often comes from not having a clear picture of what needs to be done.  If there are details lacking in what you need to concentrate and focus on, then there is going to be room for mind wandering and error.

 

To really concentrate on a task, you have to first get a clear picture of what you are trying to accomplish.  This means taking time to think and design out what needs to be done.  It means step by step, coming up with a plan to accomplish the task at hand.  Your concentration will greatly increase if you have a detailed plan with instructions put together for what it is you are trying to do.

 

Let me give you an example:  I’m having trouble concentrating when I write in my journal.  My mind wanders and it’s hard to focus and write anything down.  To solve this, I come up with a plan to write in my journal.  I decide that 9 pm every Sunday night is when I will write in it.  I also decide that I will write at my office desk.  I will write alone.  I will write about how my day went, things I learned, interesting events, and my family.

 

There is power in this kind of detail.  With details filled in, your concentration is much easier to achieve.  You have a detailed plan with no guessing.  You know what you are going to do.  You get yourself into the situation with a plan and your concentration and focus is much easier to achieve.

 

Be Proactive and Stop at Nothing

 

Being proactive is quite the useful skill when you are having trouble concentrating.  Usually if you are having trouble concentrating, your mind is not producing details and specifications it needs to complete a task.  If you are a writer, this is sometimes called “Writer’s Block”.  You can be proactive though in increaseing your ability to perform the task you need to do through knowledge gaining.

 

Proactively learn more about what task you are seeking to do.  If you are planting a garden, look for some good books, talk to friends/family/neighbors, or look online for information.  Do whatever it takes to increase your knowledge.  Armed with knowledge, you have a much greater pool to draw from in order to design and plan your task.  With this knowledge, you will find moments of drawing blanks and losing focus less frequent.

 

Eliminate Distractions

 

Many distractions can disrupt your concentration.  These include TV, children, radio, surfing the net, not feeling good/healthy, eating, and mind wandering.  There is nothing wrong with these distractions in general, but for the purpose of losing concentration, these distractions must not be interfering with making progress on your plan.

 

You eliminate distractions by communicating with those around you that you need time to concentrate and focus on what you would like to do.  You share why you are doing it.  You ask for patience and understanding.  For me, I also downgraded our television plan to only the very basic cable.  I seek quiet areas where I can research and make progress on my tasks.

 

Enjoy What you are Doing

 

If I were asked to create a website for someone that wants to sell jewelry, it would be much harder to concentrate and get the task done than if I were making a website for computer games.  Sometimes concentration on things other than what you are interested in is a necessary evil.  It’s what you do for work during the day.  In cases where you have a choice though, don’t beat your head against the wall doing something you don’t enjoy if there is not a good reason.

 

If you like cats, you will not have a hard time creating a portfolio of cute kitty pictures, or writing about your favorite cat, or talking about cats, or making cat toys, blankets or anything cats.  Look to this and do your best to have your concentration focused in areas you are passionate about.

 

Keep Yourself Healthy

 

Having trouble concentrating can come from being tired, sick, frustrated, heart broken, angry, or any number of physical and mental ailments.  Look to increase your health through healthy eating and exercise.  This means not eating that bag of chips.  Pick up a banana or carrot instead.  Sure it doesn’t taste quite as good, but it’s not THAT bad.  Drink water and get at least eight hours sleep at night.  This is fairly common knowledge.  Make the choice to apply the knowledge.

 

Being in good health helps me maintain my concentration and efforts on this website.  I eat reasonably well and I exercise two to three times a week lifting weights and running.  This helps me keep up with my family and find the energy to do the other things I am wanting to do.

 

I know that with good decision making, gaining knowledge, staying healthy, and doing what we are passionate about, that we will increase our focus.  With a little faith, you can start having more concentration and focus and start seeing greater results in your life!

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