In the movie trilogy, “The Lord of the Rings” (LOTR), there is a gruesome and pitiful creature known as ‘Smeagol’.  He also goes by the name ‘Gollum’.  A main storyline in LOTR is the sad story of Smeagol and his desperate quest to find the One Ring of Power.

 

Smeagol once possessed this ring and became addicted to the power it brought him.  Having lost the ring before the LOTR series, Smeagol became obsessed in finding it.  Everything he did was based on his need for the ring.  He was addicted to it.  In the end, it was the catalyst for the fate he suffered.

 

There are many things in life that one should never be desperate for. By desperate I mean where your whole purpose for existing revolves around trying to fill the void of desperation you have. There are three desperations in particular that I would like to talk about.

 

Desperate for love

 

Throughout life, I’ve seen the desperation and need for love drive people to do some pretty crazy things.  And this desperation for love has come from people who are single, divorced, married - it does not matter your current relationship status.  It is ok to desire companionship from another person.  But think about how much you are thinking about it.  If all of your actions and time is solely spent on finding love, this should be a warning sign to you that you are way too desperate.

 

Especially if you are married and you find yourself looking to other men/women for love, take a step back.  You are likely not spending nearly the amount of time on your marriage that you should be.  If your marriage is not meant to be, take the steps to end it by communicating with your spouse.  But don’t go waltzing around behind your partners back looking for love and think it’s okay.  If you are not happy, communicate with your partner.

 

If your desire for love from another is the driving force in your life, I encourage you to take a second look at yourself.  I created drjerm.com to help people who struggle and face challenges in life.  This challenge is a big one.  If you take the time to go through my site and start working on creating a better you, you will then start spending less time on finding love and more time on doing the things you are passionate and talented about.  When you are happy, confident, and energetic, you will attract those who are the same.  You will then find the right kind of love, instead of in desperation, taking the first person that pays attention to you and smiles, and annointing that person as your true love.

 

Desperate for money

 

The recent news of mortgage companies facing serious financial troubles raises several issues.  One of the main ones is greed.  It is ok to want to have a lot of money.  But when that desire for money is at the forefront of all your decisions and you have no regard for your friends, co-workers, or family, then you are in serious trouble.  You become a slave to money and the many other areas of life will evade you.  Yes, you may get rich and be well to do with money.  But you will also likely be a chaotic spender of that money and get yourself into serious financial trouble.

 

With no back bone of living sound principals, including finance, even with large sums of money, you can bet that your greed will cause you to spend that money on things you probably don’t need.  And the more you spend, the more money you will want and a vicious spiral will form.  You will have no regard for people.  You will lie to people to get what you want.  Please, I’ve seen what greed for money can do to people.  Don’t let yourself get caught up with money being your primary focus to the point you will become cut throat and betray people.  Manage your money responsibly of course, but don’t let money be your driving force.

 

Desperate for acceptance

 

While growing up and going through schooling, up through high school, I was witness to many people who were desperate to fit in.  This caused them to act in a very irrational way that ended up ostracizing them from people even more.  Some kids in high school wanted to fit in so they got drunk, or smoked weed, or did other harmful drugs.  Or they would go through haneous initiations into groups that left them bruised and battered.  People focused on manipulation of others was common in high school and is indeed prevalent in all age groups.

 

My advice for those of you who are looking for acceptance is to stop trying to get accepted first and foremost and take a step back and examine yourself.  Yes look at yourself, nobody else.  Start spending time working on yourself, what you can do to be a little kinder, less of a back-biter, more of a friend.  Look to help people.  Don’t always ask people what they think of you.  This is a bad sign.  First be accepting of yourself.  When you reach that point, you will no longer need to ask people if you are doing the right thing, look ok, etc…

 

In the end, what matters most is where you are at in life and your acceptance of yourself.  If you are not happy with where you are, make the changes necessary to find happiness.  This involves hard work, kindness, and a slew of other things you can read about on drjerm.com.  I know that if you put time and effort, along with a little faith, into bettering yourself, you will no longer be desperate for anything, and find a true happiness that will transcend this life and carry you forward for the rest of your existence.

( This article is written by Dr. J., my father )

 

It’s six o’clock in the morning as John’s alarm sounds. John had promised himself and his doctor that he would walk for at least thirty minutes each morning, but the bed is feeling too comfortable this morning, so John turns off the alarm and goes back to sleep.
 

This story and many others like it that we all can relate to are examples of inaction, or its twin sister procrastination, that often thwart the plans, hopes, and destiny of individuals.

 

As Nathaniel Howe once said, “The way to be nothing is to do nothing.” Of course, we are always doing something. We go here and there, and we do this and that. The question we should keep in mind is this, are our actions moving us closer to our goals and our ultimate destiny?

 

Why is getting important things done so difficult? Perhaps it is because of all the distractions the world has to offer such as entertainment, sports and recreation, toys, shopping, and the like. Maybe it is because we don’t know what to do first or simply what to do at all. Or maybe it is that we are not motivated enough to get moving now, or are simply just plain lazy.

 

It is true that the world is full of pleasurable interesting things to do. For many the goal of “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die” is life’s only goal. For those with true life-improvement goals, however, the distractions of the world can also be quite powerful. It is so easy to get caught up in the thick of thin things. Recognizing and controlling such distractions and roadblocks is a critical step in achieving our worthy goals. Finding successful strategies that limit, lock, or leave/eliminate these distractions is something that the serious reader is encouraged to go and do.

 

Setting a goal is a good start at improving one’s life or the world around us. Not knowing what to do to accomplish the goal means that we did not take the time to develop an achievement plan for the goal. Books, magazines, and the Internet contain much discussion about how to set goals and develop action plans. For example, type “SMART Goals” into your favorite search engine. If you are having difficulty deciding what to do to achieve your goal, then a diligent study of these available resources is something to go and do.

 

Motivation is perhaps the key ingredient in achieving our goals, yet one that is not well understood. Motivation is a psychological concept with no single universally accepted definition which concerns the determinants of intent, effort and tenacity, and the factors that push or pull us as individuals to behave in a particular manner. It involves the complex interaction of our knowledge, thoughts, beliefs and desires, senses, feelings, and sub-conscious programs.

 

When our goals involve things that we love and are excited to do, motivation is generally not a problem. However most goals are not like that. In fact they can be just the opposite. For example, a person who loves to eat will have a hard time getting motivated to lose weight. For such goals additional motivation must be obtained. For this we must take actions that influence or change the internal items listed above.

 

Once again the literature is abundant with ideas of things we can do to help increase our motivation. To-do lists, rewards, deadlines, reporting to others, self-talk, and imagining are but a few examples. The great secret, however, to motivation is the same as the great secret to happiness or the great secret to success. It is simply this – service to others. Abraham Lincoln said this, “When I do good, I feel good, when I don’t do good, I don’t feel good.”

 

Good feelings are positive motivators for other actions that help achieve our goals. In the Bible (Luke 10:25-36) we read about the parable of the Good Samaritan, a response by Jesus to the question – who is my neighbor? Several supposedly good people passed by the robbed and beaten traveler until a Samaritan stopped to help and care for him. “Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves? And he said, He that showed mercy on him. Then said Jesus unto him, Go, and do thou likewise.”

I’ve begun to see a situation with people where they have worked at a company for 10, 15, or more years and either the company is running itself into the ground, or the worker at the company is no longer interested in being there.  For someone in this situation, what do you do?

 

Habit/Comfort

 

I have been fortunate ever since I graduated college in April 2004.  I am now working at my 4th job and each transition has been on my terms and my choosing and has provided me with an upgrade in my salary.  This is not the case for everyone.  Those of you who’ve been stuck at the same place of work for many many years have a lot of comfort and things you are used to at your job.  Adapting and changing will at first, be difficult.

 

The good news is that it’s not so difficult that you cannot do it.  Especially if your company is headed downhill either through management failures, or from just losing business over time.  The first step is not wanting to be comfortable but looking for a change.  This means gaining new skills and taking time to get out of your comfort zone.

 

Take the time to gain the skills for your field that you do not have.  For me, this means looking at the latest in web development technologies.  For others, this means learning to cook more exotic foods, find more creative ways to crunch numbers, or finding ways to better manage people.  Do not get discouraged because you do not know the extra skills you need.  Simply take the time to learn them through practice and application.  Find out what employers are looking for and go out and get those skills by any means necessary!

 

Change of Perception

 

Most of the people who’ve worked at the same company and that are in a rut there likely have a common scenario.  They have not had any of the following for many many years:

 

• Create a Resume
• Have a Job Interview
• Learn New Skills
• Excitement at the work place
• Desire to do anymore than is necessary to get the job done
• Compliments of management

 

I will say that the ‘drudgery’ of work creates a rut that hopefully can at least be recognized if you are in that situation.  I have some ideas that I believe can get you out of this rut, but you must be willing to take some action for an extended period of time.  Not working on it for a few days or weeks and then giving up because you didn’t see instant results.  The vision of long term effort and determination is what leads people to future success.

 

So the first step is changing your perception to someone who is proactive and enjoys new challenges.  This means talking to yourself and building yourself up.  Tell yourself you like new challenges.  Paint a picture of yourself that is happy and energetic.  You like to meet new people, undertake challenging projects, and solve problems.  You are successfull and happy.  You can do it!

 

What do You Want?

 

I know a guy who likes Harley Davidson motorcycles.  He’s worked at the same company for over 10 years.  He does not like it there.  He’s getting burned out and he likely comes home and just crashes, with no desire to try and accomplish much of anything.  This spiraling routine must be fought and beaten into the ground.  Do not feel like coming home from work is the end to your creative thinking and time to stuff your face with snacks and watch your favorite TV shows on DVR.  This will lead you to decay and a sedentary and unhappy life.

 

What you CAN do is spend time thinking about what you like and start putting action into place to pursue that which you like.  The guy I know that likes Harleys could start taking time to compile information about the motorcycles of today.  He could take pictures, and write pages and pages of information.  In time, he’d have the ‘bible’ of motorcycles.  This could lead him to start a website, create his own brand of motorcycle, start his own dealership, or start his own club.

 

Does this seem silly?  No way!  It is possible!  I am living proof of this.  I saw that I enjoyed helping people and wanted to make a difference in the world.  This means not coming home and sitting with my hands under my butt watching reruns of Seinfeld all day.  It means taking time to pursue my dreams and passions!  It means working on this website!  I am also going to be pursuing real estate and renting properties because I like working with people and know that some good extra money can come from it.

 

I am not afraid.  I know the pros and cons to what I do.  I move forward with determination and happiness.  I know that you can do the same.  Why wouldn’t you want to pursue the things you love the most and are passionate about?  Isn’t that what being happy is all about?

 

Being Fearless

 

Fear of the unknown, change, and leaving your comfort zone no doubt keeps you in check from changing the monotony of life.  It does not have to be that way!  You don’t have to make millions of dollars either.  I make a decent salary at my day job.  And I work on all this other stuff in my spare time.  I love doing it.  You may love motorcycles, music, singing, dancing, cooking, cars, magic - whatever it may be, if you love it and are good at it, I can’t see why you wouldn’t want to spend time on it.

 

Once you know what you want to do, make every effort to do it.  It’s like someone offering you a brief case full of gold, but you reject it because the brief case is heavy or looks funny and you don’t want it because it’s different than what you have.  My goodness, I hope you can see the fault of not pursuing your dreams and passions!

 

Do not be afraid of failing.  Take every effort to educate yourself.  Research, talk with others, and most importantly, take action.  Be happy that you are pursuing your dreams.  There is no feeling like knowing that you are doing what you are meant to be doing in life.  It removes fear and doubt and instead replaces you with confidence, happiness, and inner peace.  I know with faith, effort, and determination that you can break free of your many years at your job and start doing worthwhile things!

Do you look at the success of others and in frustration and jealousy wish you had what they did?  Do you wonder if you could ever succeed like they do?  Could you ever become like ‘The Rock’, Brad Pitt, Dr. Phil, Lebron James, or any other famous person?  There is a little known secret about the success of others.  Most of them have tried and failed, and a lot of them failed many times before they found true success.  Watch this video for a glimpse into this:

 

 

So you see, successful people are the same as the rest of us, except for one difference.  What sets them apart is that they tried.  And after they tried, they tried some more.  And they kept on trying.  They did not give up.  What is your idea of success?  Is it making millions of dollars?  Is it gaining a higher position at your job?  Is it bettering relationships?  Is it making a website that is the ‘next big thing’?  Whatever the success is you seek, be prepared to spend time failing before you reach it.

 

What is Stopping You?

 

For some, they get a spark of a great idea.  They may want to make a website.  They go out and buy a domain name and work on it for a few hours in excitement.  After a few hours, they realize that there is no money coming in from the website and they give up.  Or the dreams of gaining a promotion occur and in a brief spurt of excitement, the person does a little bit more.  But after a few days gives up because it appears that nothing has happened.

 

Please, read very carefully.  If you are interested in achieving your dreams or the things you want the most, or if you are just looking to advance yourself in your career, or attain anything in life, then what I have to say is of utmost importance to you.  The following are key points that keep us from our dreams.  Learn to overcome them and you will have nothing to stop you.

 

Discouragement From Failure/Lack of Results

 

If you get nothing else from what I write here, please look at this.  This is, “well I tried it for a few days or weeks, nothing happened, so I’m done”.  Or it is the fear of failure and the hopelesness that you can’t do it.  The hardest part is not finding out what you are passionate about.  That part is easy.  You just look at what you like and are good at and put the two together.  The hard part is maintaining a persistent and dedicated effort.

 

As I write now, I realize that I could spend time over the next year working on my website, drjerm.com, and my blog here.  And it may become a barely trafficed website that nobody uses and some might consider the hundreds of hours put in a waste of time.  This is an obstacle to overcome.  Time spent pursuing your dreams and passion IS NOT A WASTE OF TIME!  I face the same attacks of discouragement as the rest of you.  I don’t know that you can get away from discouragement completely.  The good news is that you can cut it down and not let it affect you.

 

Bad Habits Preventing Productive Time

 

This is just a guess, but I believe a very accurate guess, and that is most people wake up, eat something, rush to school/work, stare at the clock all day, five o’clock (or whenever work/school ends) comes close and getting fidgety sets in.  At the stroke of five (or the end of school/work), they bolt home, get home, and plop in front of the TV.  Watching their favorite shows and recordings after all is comfort from the terrible workday.  Or they may go out to eat frequently, going to Wendy’s, McDonalds, or other restaurants because it’s too hard to cook or do dishes.  Perhaps an addiction to video games can also be thrown into the mix.

 

And so this cycle goes on for a while and becomes quite engrained in the individual.  After a while, hope of doing anything but this fades away.  How can you possibly achieve your dreams when you spend all your time in the pursuit of things that are ultimately going to leave you empty and likely depressed.  The good news is that you can overcome the habitual living of everyday life, no matter how deep into bad habits you have gotten into.

 

Low Self Esteem and Motivation

 

I used to beat myself up all the time when I was younger.  I was scared to try new things.  The thought of making videos and posting them online would not have even crossed my mind.  I would have been too worried about what people would think or that nobody would like them.  I’ve been told plenty of times that I am dumb and look goofy.  I’ve experienced all the insults and frustrations that one can go through.

 

The battle of low self esteem is a very real danger.  You may see other people fighting this battle.  They may not like the way they look, talk, or feel.  This is an obstacle for you to overcome.  My website, drjerm.com, offers resources to help you paint a better picture of yourself.

 

I Don’t Know Where to Start, I am Ignorant

 

You are not ignorant, but not knowing where to start is a common scenario.  There is always uncertainty when entering the realm of something you have not done.  So how do you start?  Well, realize you have countless resources around you, so start asking questions.  Go to Google and start searching your butt off on what you are trying to do.  Go to Amazon.com and look at books and DvD’s that might help.  Talk to those you are in contact with.  Think carefully with your brain and focus.  The main thing is you can get proactive and figure things out.  We are all intelligent.  Knowledge is gained through proactive choices.

 

I had a talk with a young gal recently and asked her what her dreams and aspirations were.  She wasn’t sure.  But I know this gal pretty well and I said to her, “You like R&B music and entertainers.  What’s stopping you from pursuing that, maybe becoming an agent or promoter of them?”.  Her reply somewhat saddened me, “I don’t know what to do or even where to begin!”.

 

Look, you have countless resources available to you.  In this day and age, information is readily available.  You have your own brain to thoroughly think with.  In the case of this young gal, she can go out and search, find people to network within the R&B industry, and start making a name for herself with a website.  She can see how the industry works by just looking at who is doing it right now via the Internet.  Get a collection of all the rappers and R&B singers.  Become an expert with all of them - she is already probably.  Be creative and make something happen.

 

I know it’s a little daunting to go through uncharted territory.  But use your senses and you will find that if you take time to think and make an honest effort, that ideas will come to you.

 

So What, Nothing is Happening, What do I Need to Do?

 

I created drjerm.com to help people gain the foundation in their life that would lead them to begin discovering their destiny so that a legacy can be created.  Please use this resource first.  Paint a new picture of yourself.  Once you do this, you can start looking at the final step of creating your legacy and pursuing your dreams and passions.  Follow these simple steps:

 

1. Find what it is you are passionate about and grab hold of it and don’t let go
2. Begin becoming an expert in your passion using all resources available to you
3. Be persistent, giving a consistent effort over a long period of time
4. Give effort for as long as it takes, months/years, decades if needed - do not expect quick results
5. If in the end, if you realize that success is not going to happen, smile - you’re in the lower 1% that truly gave an honest effort in pursuing their dream.  You will have learned much :)

 

The main thing is not giving up because after a few days/weeks/months, nothing seems to be happening.  Maybe you appear to be failing at what it is you are doing.  Do not give up.  Fight through it all.  Do not go in front of the TV, but really take the time each day to work on your dreams and passion.  Over the course of quite some time, you will likely see positive results.

 

Why Should I Care or Even Listen to You?

 

I HOPE that you are asking this question.  At the time of writing this, I know I am just one man.  I am a website developer by day looking to make a difference.  I’m not making millions of dollars.  I make a salary that supports my family.  I make next to nothing right now with my website and blog - I actually pay more than I earn.  In that sense, I am an average guy.  But I know that I am more than that.  Each day I strive to improve and leave my legacy to the world.  I wish to be remembered as someone who gave honest advice and helped thousands of people discover their destiny and leave their legacy in the world.  I want to inspire people!  I want people to know that I tried and was successful at many things.

 

Look through my site and this blog.  If you don’t get any use out of it, then by all means, you should not care or listen to me.  But if you have even an ounce of stirring or thought provoking as you look through ALL of my pages and information, I encourage you to put it to the test.  Try what I am saying.  See if you don’t see a difference.  I am a big fan of looking at results, or seeing what fruit is produced by a seed.

 

With a little effort and faith, you can make the change to have things start happening in your life.  Best of luck to you!

One morning, while getting ready for work, I just happened to flip on the TV and stopped and was watching Montell Williams (a talk show host).  This is not normally a show I watch, but for some reason I decided to watch it.  It was a rerun episode (aired a couple years ago), and the guest for the time was Yvette Cade, an amazing woman who has an amazing story.

 

Yvette Cade Story

 

At her place of employment, Yvette was doused with gasoline and set on fire by her ex-husband.  She suffered third degree burns over 60% of her body.  Her flesh is scarred and this is a terrible tragedy.  As I watched the Montell Williams show, and listened to her story, I wondered and contemplated what could drive a man, especially for someone they knew well, to set them on fire.  Stories like this do test my faith and courage, but there is more to the story!

 

Yvette has appeared on the Montell Williams show, the Nancy Grace show, and the Oprah Winfrey show.  She calmly speaks of the tragedy that occured and seeks to give warning to those women who are in an abusive relationship.  She seeks to uplift, inspire, and influence others for good.  This is the inspiring story, and the legacy that Yvette Cade is creating.

 

What Can be Learned From Yvette Cade

 

One big thing that can be learned from Yvette is that overcoming challenges and overcoming hardships can be done no matter how severe the situation.  How many of you have been set on fire and your body scarred for life?  How many of you would jump right back up and move forward with determination and passion if this happened to you?  I am learning from this amazing woman that no matter how difficult your situation, you can choose to be positive, confident, and optimistic.

 

Another lesson that can be learned from Yvette is that you can be more than just positive, confident, and optimistic.  She has a website, is proactively doing fund raising and seeking to help women in abusive relationships.  She is not just content to have survived.  She is seeking to leave a legacy in the world in which we live.  I am inspired and uplifted by Yvette.

 

Final Thoughts on the Yvette Cade Story

 

There are individuals who live on the earth today that do unspeakable acts of evil and harm.  On the flip side, there are amazing individuals with godlike qualities.  Yvette Cade is one such individual.  I’ve only seen her on the Montell Williams show for a few minutes and read over her website, but I am amazed by her story.  Someday I may meet her, but either way, she has touched and enriched my life and I give thanks to her for this.

 

I highly encourage the visiting of Yvette’s website.  Read the inspiring story of Yvette Cade.

Start by Watching My Video on Focus and Concentration

 

Having trouble concentrating is a common issue.  You may be in high school and just get bored in class and want to go to sleep.  Or you work at a job where you just can’t keep your mind on work.  Luckily, following a few simple steps will help you gain the concentration and focus needed to accomplish the tasks you set out to do.

 

Decide What you Want to Do

 

Having trouble concentrating often comes from not having a clear picture of what needs to be done.  If there are details lacking in what you need to concentrate and focus on, then there is going to be room for mind wandering and error.

 

To really concentrate on a task, you have to first get a clear picture of what you are trying to accomplish.  This means taking time to think and design out what needs to be done.  It means step by step, coming up with a plan to accomplish the task at hand.  Your concentration will greatly increase if you have a detailed plan with instructions put together for what it is you are trying to do.

 

Let me give you an example:  I’m having trouble concentrating when I write in my journal.  My mind wanders and it’s hard to focus and write anything down.  To solve this, I come up with a plan to write in my journal.  I decide that 9 pm every Sunday night is when I will write in it.  I also decide that I will write at my office desk.  I will write alone.  I will write about how my day went, things I learned, interesting events, and my family.

 

There is power in this kind of detail.  With details filled in, your concentration is much easier to achieve.  You have a detailed plan with no guessing.  You know what you are going to do.  You get yourself into the situation with a plan and your concentration and focus is much easier to achieve.

 

Be Proactive and Stop at Nothing

 

Being proactive is quite the useful skill when you are having trouble concentrating.  Usually if you are having trouble concentrating, your mind is not producing details and specifications it needs to complete a task.  If you are a writer, this is sometimes called “Writer’s Block”.  You can be proactive though in increaseing your ability to perform the task you need to do through knowledge gaining.

 

Proactively learn more about what task you are seeking to do.  If you are planting a garden, look for some good books, talk to friends/family/neighbors, or look online for information.  Do whatever it takes to increase your knowledge.  Armed with knowledge, you have a much greater pool to draw from in order to design and plan your task.  With this knowledge, you will find moments of drawing blanks and losing focus less frequent.

 

Eliminate Distractions

 

Many distractions can disrupt your concentration.  These include TV, children, radio, surfing the net, not feeling good/healthy, eating, and mind wandering.  There is nothing wrong with these distractions in general, but for the purpose of losing concentration, these distractions must not be interfering with making progress on your plan.

 

You eliminate distractions by communicating with those around you that you need time to concentrate and focus on what you would like to do.  You share why you are doing it.  You ask for patience and understanding.  For me, I also downgraded our television plan to only the very basic cable.  I seek quiet areas where I can research and make progress on my tasks.

 

Enjoy What you are Doing

 

If I were asked to create a website for someone that wants to sell jewelry, it would be much harder to concentrate and get the task done than if I were making a website for computer games.  Sometimes concentration on things other than what you are interested in is a necessary evil.  It’s what you do for work during the day.  In cases where you have a choice though, don’t beat your head against the wall doing something you don’t enjoy if there is not a good reason.

 

If you like cats, you will not have a hard time creating a portfolio of cute kitty pictures, or writing about your favorite cat, or talking about cats, or making cat toys, blankets or anything cats.  Look to this and do your best to have your concentration focused in areas you are passionate about.

 

Keep Yourself Healthy

 

Having trouble concentrating can come from being tired, sick, frustrated, heart broken, angry, or any number of physical and mental ailments.  Look to increase your health through healthy eating and exercise.  This means not eating that bag of chips.  Pick up a banana or carrot instead.  Sure it doesn’t taste quite as good, but it’s not THAT bad.  Drink water and get at least eight hours sleep at night.  This is fairly common knowledge.  Make the choice to apply the knowledge.

 

Being in good health helps me maintain my concentration and efforts on this website.  I eat reasonably well and I exercise two to three times a week lifting weights and running.  This helps me keep up with my family and find the energy to do the other things I am wanting to do.

 

I know that with good decision making, gaining knowledge, staying healthy, and doing what we are passionate about, that we will increase our focus.  With a little faith, you can start having more concentration and focus and start seeing greater results in your life!

There may be some of you reading this right now that don’t see any point to life and see life as a waste of time.  You may be depressed and ready to give up on life.  To this end, I seek to offer counsel and guidance for getting more out of life.  I ask that you please read with an open mind what I have to say.  I know that in life, sometimes things can get very difficult and some challenges may seem impossible to overcome.  But I know that no challenge is too difficult to overcome.  Please read on.

 

Life Isn’t Fair

 

Seeing the point in life means looking at the world in which we live.  There are billions of people living in different countries, states/provinces, and cities/towns.  Each of us represent different families, cultures, and environments.  The sum of all this is that there are many different people on this earth with different views on what existence is and what constitutes good, evil, fair, unfair, and everything else.

 

Now knowing that there are many combinations of different types of people living on the earth, we can then see that with so many people, environments, and cultues, that there is a high chance that one or more people are going to do something that is outside the realm of what one or more other people consider to be acceptable.  As such, it is no wonder that life is full of conflict both small and large scale.

 

Therefore, the notion that life is not fair needs some disecting to really understand what it is saying.  First, look at WHY you are saying life is unfair.  This may be for some of the following reasons:

 

• Getting bullied or made fun of at school
• Barely scraping by on a meager income
• Having parents who mistreat and neglect
• Dealing with people who lie
• Seeing others suffer
• My environment makes it just too hard to succeed
• Other people are just ‘lucky’

 

So to say that life isn’t fair means not just saying it.  If you really are wondering if life is fair, or why life is not fair, you MUST be specific as to why it is not fair.  Otherwise you are just sulking and feeling sorry for yourself in a mode of depression.  You can spend some time thinking and pondering on what you see as not fair in life.  This is not hard, anyone can do it!  Once you have a specific list of why you think life isn’t fair, you can then see if you can address/change any of it.

 

Change What you Can, Accept What you Can’t Change

 

Look at your list of things in life that you think are not fair.  Now look at why these things occur.  Let’s take the list from above and come up with some simple reasons.

 

For getting bullied or made fun of at school, first look at yourself.  What can you do?  You can learn self defense techniques to protect yourself.  You can make sure you stay very observant of your environment so you are not stuck in a situation where you can get bullied.  You can seek friends, teachers, or parents.  You can even go to the police if you have to.

 

For scraping by on a meager income, look at yourself.  Are you gaining in knowledge and skill to find something better?  Are you pursuing your own business ideas?  Do you waste time lounging around, watching tv, or doing anything else that does not help you?  You can be very proactive in looking to better your career.  Do not let ANYTHING hinder you.  If you see an opportunity, do not ever say, ‘well I can’t do that because there’s rules/policies/procedures that won’t let me’.  Nonsense!  Be proactive and confident and make your dreams happen.

 

For parents who mistreat and neglect, I will admint, there is not much you can do growing up.  Some parents just flat out neglect their children, from minor neglect to severe neglect where life is threatened.  My advice to you if this is happening is to hold on to live.  Seek the aid of police and other legal authorities if you have to.  If your neglect is simply minor like your parents ignore you, confront them about it.  Make sure there are no distractions, and tell them how you feel.  Maybe they just don’t know they are neglecting you.  Do what you can to turn things around.

 

Dealing with people who lie can be frustrating.  Life seems difficult when there are many who get away with constant lying and there are people who continue to believe them.  Try educating yourself on what people are saying.  Always validate for yourself what someone is saying, no matter how good it sounds.  Take the time to find things out for yourself.  Never believe what someone tells you without first validating it yourself.  This can be through research, seeking the perspective of others, or through meditation.  Then accept people for who they are and move on.  You have more important things to achieve.

 

Seeing others suffer is difficult.  With much suffering in the world, it is easy to ask what the point of life is.  But you can look at yourself and your attitude about it.  You can complain about it and let it get to you, or you can be proactive and take steps to better situations.  Accept that suffering is a part of life until you see nobody suffering for a long period of time, but the reality is, that people are going to suffer.  If you can accept this, you will find more peace within yourself.

 

My environment makes it just too hard to succeed.  You may think that your situation prevents success.  You come from a run down neighborhood, have no friends, have no money, have nothing at all.  You can mope and complain about all of this and look at where it gets you as evidence to the effectiveness of that behavior.  Or you can take extra effort and learn, make things happen, and turn your situations around.  It won’t be easy, but with a little extra effort, over time, you will realize results.

 

Other people are just ‘lucky’.  Yes, some people are lucky.  They win millions in lotteries or from gambling.  You can complain about this, or just accept that some people are lucky.  Look at what complaining about others luck does - nothing!  Try spending your time looking at ways to better yourself and your situation and you will find far better things happening.

 

The point is, there are a number of things you can do to change situations around, and they all start with YOU!  Remember, accept what you can’t change, and WORK HARD to change what you can.

 

Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen?

 

Some believe in a higher power, some do not.  If you don’t see the point in life, chances are you believe that there is nothing beyond living a mortal life on this earth.  There is nothing wrong with believing that once we die here on earth, that everything is over.  However, even with that belief, there is still a time on earth in which we are living.  There are still people and real things happening that require attention.  You can choose to complain about things, or make them better.

 

For someone asking why God lets bad things happen, I ask you to be specific.  What bad things is God letting happen?  And if you believe him responsible, then you have a belief in a higher power.

 

After some time, a list of bad things like this may be created:

 

• Wars
• Famines
• Earthquakes, Hurricanes, Tornadoes and other natural disastors
• People who lie, cheat, steal, and kill
• Corruption in government and in business
• Unfair and uneven distribution of wealth around the world

 

These are some things that people may think God is responsible for.  There are likely many others that people can come up with.  If you are not specific about what the bad things happening are, then I believe you to be just complaining because you likely saw someone starving on tv or in the news, or something like that.  Now, there are some people who witness first hand some of the devastation, destruction, and corruption that occurs in the world, and these people can get very specific.

 

The earth has been around for a while.  Scientists can date the earth back billions of years.  Humans have been on the earth for at least a few thousand years.  That’s many, many billions of people having lived, each one making choices and decisions.  The inter-twining of all these decisions creates situations and events that affect the world, both the people and the environment.  The earth itself also has things that happen on it, related to weather and the structure of the land.  I am no scientist, but I am willing to bet, that the weather, and the movement of land is all related to a pattern that the earth follows in relation to physical laws (like gravity).

 

The present day is the culmination and result of billions and billions of decisions and behavior of people living for thousands of years.  During the week, I leave my house for work.  I decide to eat.  I work on and develop websites.  God does not come down and say, ‘nope, you can’t leave today, you can’t go to work, and you can’t eat’.  There are other things happening beyond this such as wars and calamities.  As one person, I cannot say if God is intervening in any way, or if he is just allowing us the opportunity to make things better.

 

I believe each of our choices goes unhindered by God so that we can learn and grow.  I believe we are allowed to make choices and decisions and to face responsibility for them.  This means that anyone living faces that same law.  As such, with so many decisions and choices going on, there are going to be some bad and some good ones.  Some people will start conflict, others will seek to improve and aid other people.  The reality is that the behavior of people is unhindered by God from what is visible to the average human perception.  I accept this.  I accept that situations are changed through the decisions and efforts of those living on the earth today.

 

I ask those of you asking why God lets bad things happen, that you look at the world we live in.  If you are asking this question, then you must believe in God.  If you do not believe in him, then you have no question to even ask as we’re all just living on an earth with nobody able to intervene except the people on it.  Either way, you can look to yourself and the attitude, decisions, and things you do each and every day.

 

What are You Doing to Get More Out of Life?

 

If all I did in my life was go to work/school, come home and watch tv, stuff my face with potato chips, and constantly talk to other people who didn’t see the point in life, perhaps I would start to feel that there was no point to life.  Or you may be doing any number of things where you just live day to day in a rut.  If you are doing any of these things, you are creating the no point in life for yourself.  If you live day to day without any real desire for anything, then your life will have no point by default.

 

So how do you get to seeing a point in life?  My website, drjerm.com, exists to address this issue.  Try visiting and Discovering Your Destiny and start seeing if there is more to life than what you are currently looking to achieve.  I know that with just the desire to get more out of life, that you will get on a path to experiencing better things in life.

   

Life Has Challenges… and Choices

 

One of the most interesting things I’ve found in my life as I’ve sought to get more out of it and make things happen is that life does not get easier.  More challenges present themselves to be overcome.  I wonder if the fear of having to deal with more than just a routine is what keeps people from trying new and interesting things?  Either way, whoever you are, life is going to present challenges.

 

Whatever the challenge, a choice can be made to complain, mope, and waste time.  This will keep the challenge there and maybe even increase it.  It is a natural reaction to complain whenever something does not match your ideal picture of it.  Knowing this, you can now make a choice to not complain.

 

The next time you are in a situation where you feel like complaining, instead look at your other options.  You can take the time to help the situation by assisting whoever is responsible for the situation.  At the very least, you can change your mind set and be thankful for what you have and accepting of the choices of others.  This will give you an iron will and inner peace that will provide immense benefit as you continue on in life.

 

Examples of People Getting More Out of Life

 

I’ve compiled a list of people that are worth investigation that are getting much out of life.  These people have challenges they face for sure in their lives.  Please read carefully their stories.  I know that in life, we get out of it what we choose to.  It is that simple.  With a little effort and faith, you can see the point in life.

• Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
• Steve Nash
• Bill Gates
• Paul Potts
• Nick Vujicic

Stop Procrastinating - Tips To Be Proactive

 

Procrastination is something that is a common issue people deal with across the globe, and if you are having trouble with procrastination, you are not alone.  It is even something I have to deal with as I seek to do the things I am doing.  It’s an area that needs addressing, so let me share some information about procrastination and what you can do to be proactive.

 

1. Recognize that you are procrastinating, this is a very important step.  Doing so means you are not in denial, you are recognizing a problem, and you are prepared to overcome it.  Many people have a hard time even getting to this step, so you’re doing a great job getting to this point.

 

2. For me, procrastination happens when I don’t have any clear idea of what I desire to do in life.  Earlier when I was younger this was a big problem.  As I’ve gotten older, not so much now as I clearly know what I want out of life.  I wish when I was younger, someone would have told me some information that would help me be proactive and stop procrastinating

 

For instance, here are some of my priorities in life right now:

 

• Take care of my wife and 1 year old daughter by having more than enough financial stability
• Continue building up drjerm.com as a useful resource for those seeking guidance and direction
• Build up Media Learner (the company I work for during the day) by developing great software
• Keep my self physically fit by exercising at least 3 times a week
• Eat only those foods which will provide benefit to my body, with an occasional splurge
• Seek inspiring, uplifting, and thought provoking entertainment and media

 

If you are young and in hich school, a proactive list may look like this for you:

 

• Get the most out of high school by putting studies and homework before leisure time (games, tv, partying, etc…)
• Figure out what I am most interested in, passionate about, and good at.  Take this and pursue it as my career
• Build a network of positive relationships with people that excel in the career path I am taking
• Any other worthwhile things you would like to do…

 

Or if you are a bit older, maybe your list for proactive actions might look like this:

 

• Continue my education to gain skills and abilities to better my lifestlye and finances
• Better my marriage by using the drjerm website and applying the information :)
• Seek friends and associates who will build me up and uplift me
• Take the steps to pursue my passion and dreams

 

3. In our early years, through high school and college, most people aren’t thinking too much about the path their life is going to take.  The few that do have a huge advantage as they are at a very young age taking action.  These are the kinds of people that are the movers and shakers of the world, like the creators of Google, MySpace, Facebook, and more.

 

So, the first step for you is to decide that you are not going to procrastinate.   The second step is to then make the hard choices that will prevent procrastination.  This is where successful people are brought out.  Since you are used to procrastinating, a change of habit must be done and it can be a painful process.  Each day you will have things you know you need to do.  You really don’t need any organizational software.  Just notepad or something to write the important things down with.

 

Then allocate time to do those things you know you should be doing.  This must be time free of distractions like tv, friends, and games.  This means telling everyone around you that you are changing to be proactive. 

 

Like I said, this is not an easy thing to do, it’s a change of mind and priority.  But I promise you if you constantly keep in your mind that you are proactive and successful, and then you make time and physically get yourself in the situation to accomplish the task you need to do, that you will become used to doing it.  Then your natural instinct will eventually be a proactive mindset and procrastination will be uncomfortable to you.

 

4. Allocate specific time.  This may be 6:30 am to 7:30 am is homework time.  7:00 pm to 8:00 pm is time for you to work on a website you had an idea for, etc…  The difficult thing that many people face is that to overcome procrastination, some leisurely time must be cut out, such as lounging around, watching tv, playing video games, or hanging out with friends.  You don’t cut those things out completely, but they become secondary to the most important things in life for you to succeed.

 

I know that a consistent effort each day and making time for the most important things will begin to change your mind set of what is most important.  You can do it.  Feel free to browse all the pages of my site and my blog and see what else there may be of assistance for you.  Let your friends/family know they can browse the site and contact me if they are seeking advice.  If you haven’t already, go through my self improvement tutorial and

 

Discover Your Destiny.

 

I know with a little faith and effort that procrastination can be overcome.  Eventually, you will get to the point where procrastinating becomes difficult to do!  You will loathe the idea of putting things off as doing the important things has such value and worth that you will love doing them.